mjmooney Posted December 25, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 25, 2019 Q. Why did the old woman fall into a well? A. She couldn't see that well. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 26 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Q. Why did the old woman fall into a well? A. She couldn't see that well. I’ll let you off because it’s Christmas... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KHV Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: Q. Why did the old woman fall into a well? A. She couldn't see that well. Someone has pulled a cracker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted December 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 26, 2019 Pun walks into a room, kills ten people. Pun in, ten dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted January 7, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7, 2020 The best cure for a persistent cough is to stop drinking milk. My elderly neighbour had a hacking cough for months but since he started leaving his milk on his doorstep a couple of weeks ago, it seems to have cleared up completely. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Awesome news! Not only have I made the great Britain woodwork team they've asked me to be vice captain 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Had my first gig as a stand-up comedian at an old people's home last night. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted January 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 10, 2020 So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 10, 2020 Moderator Share Posted January 10, 2020 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. But I bet the pawn cocktail was delicious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 8 minutes ago, BOF said: But I bet the pawn cocktail was delicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted January 10, 2020 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted January 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, rjw63 said: Was it a meal fit for a king? Did I make a rook-ie error? Hello *taps mic*. Is this thing on ? Spoiler 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 1 minute ago, BOF said: Was it a meal fit for a king? Did I make a rook-ie error? Hello *taps mic*. Is this thing on ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post choffer Posted January 13, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted January 13, 2020 I've got a joke about Sean Connery's sister's baby daughter. It's a little niche. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted January 16, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted January 16, 2020 Why do the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? So when they arrive back in port they can Scandinavian 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted January 19, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 19, 2020 I just spent £1000 on a rented limousine and found out it doesn’t come with a driver. Can’t believe I spent all that money have nothing to chauffeur it. 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted January 19, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 19, 2020 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post imavillan Posted January 20, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 20, 2020 I was busy in my garden and the neighbour looked over the fence and said.. What are you doing I said I'm putting all my plants in alphabetical order... She said.. Really.. I don't know how you find the time.. Oh that's easy I said... Its right next to the sage. 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeVillan Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 My boy came home today and told me that he got the role in a play of a man who's been married for 25 years. I said, not to worry son you might get a speaking part next time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomaszk Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) An old Jimmy Carr.... If a giant ape and a table-tennis champion got into a fight over a far east karaoke machine, would the newspaper headline be 'Hong Kong King Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong?' Edited January 20, 2020 by Tomaszk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted January 23, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted January 23, 2020 My four year old granddaughter has started telling jokes. I shall share them on here. First up... Q. What do you call a banana? A. Banana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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