veloman Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Do dogs chase a ball because they think their owner enjoys throwing it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid4ever Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 70% of Liverpool fans love having sex in the shower, the other 30% haven’t been in prison yet 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted December 6, 2019 Share Posted December 6, 2019 What did the sadist say to the masochist? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 6, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 6, 2019 1 hour ago, AJ said: What did the sadist say to the masochist? No. The correct format for that heritage joke is as follows: "Hit me", said the masochist. "No", said the sadist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbojangles Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Got a pile of old Harry Potter books for sale Quid each 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 The Mother Superior tells two novice nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their new habits. The one nun says to the other "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door". So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt". so they let him in. The blind man walks in and says "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang these blinds?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Just swallowed the F5 key from my laptop. It was actually quite refreshing. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 My girlfriend said that I should pick a couple of my favourite fantasies for some roleplay to spice things up as apparently my performance wasn't up to par. So now I need a new girlfriend. On the bright side, I ticked snuff and necrophilia off my bucket list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 9, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 9, 2019 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: The Mother Superior tells two novice nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their new habits. The one nun says to the other "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door". So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt". so they let him in. The blind man walks in and says "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang these blinds?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 7 minutes ago, mjmooney said: I've never watched that shite! Except the Christmas one about the sprouts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 9, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 9, 2019 19 minutes ago, rjw63 said: I've never watched that shite! Except the Christmas one about the sprouts I generally don't like sitcoms, but this one I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: I generally don't like sitcoms, but this one I did. Need to start a sitcom thread or we'll get shouted at... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted December 13, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2019 Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can't tell me that's just a coincidence. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted December 13, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2019 Condoms made of bubble wrap? Poppycock! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 1 hour ago, choffer said: Condoms made of bubble wrap? Poppycock! That’s my cousin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 A wife ask`s the preacher at her local church if he can have a word with her husband as he cant leave her alone,he wants sex all the time. The preacher tells the husband.Look I know you are newly married but you must learn to controle yourself as far as sex is concerned with your wife or I will not let you in to this church. The following sunday the preacher asks the husband if he managed to control himself during the week. The husband replied.Well father, I managed to control myself all week till saturday morning when I saw my wife bending over the freezer getting something out.Her skirt lifted right up and I saw enough of her leg to turn me on and I had to take her right there at the freezer. Father.Well my son im sorry but I cant let you in this church Husband. Yeah, well we are not allowed back in Tescoes either 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post theboyangel Posted December 15, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted December 15, 2019 The Police came round my house last night and showed me a picture. ”is this your wife?” They asked. ”yes it is” I answered the officer then said “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus” I replied “I know, but she’s good with the kids” 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 The guy sat next to me on the train just showed me a picture of his wife on his phone “she’s beautiful isn’t she?” I said “if you think she’s beautiful you should see my wife” “Is she gorgeous too?” He asked. “No, she’s an optician!” 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 Shame about my pet rat Elvis got caught in a trap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 6 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: Shame about my pet rat Elvis got caught in a trap You went back 5 years to check if this has binnedunne...I'm impressed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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