drat01 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I have a blind spot ..... worst guide dog ever One of our kids just got their GCSE results - last time I heard that many D's match of the day was starting In science the saturation point at which grated cabbage can no longer absorb Mayonnaise is known as Cole's Law I once dated a red head ... no hair just a red head. Everyone thought it was a perfect match I've got a talking dog, last night at the Karaoke he was booed off stage when singing "its oh so quiet" - suppose his Bkork s worst than his bite I just sold my old Mic on ebay, so annoyed no feedback 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted August 20, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 20, 2019 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 21, 2019 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2019 I've never seen The Matrix. Seemed pointless as I've not watched Matri, Matrii, Matriii, Matriv, Matrv, Matrvi, Matrvii or Matrviii. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 21, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2019 25 minutes ago, BOF said: I've never seen The Matrix. Seemed pointless as I've not watched Matri, Matrii, Matriii, Matriv, Matrv, Matrvi, Matrvii or Matrviii. Same reason I've never had a Twix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 The average size of a male midget is 132 cm (4.33 ft)It's a little gnome fact. I've just been adding 4 Fisherman's Friends to 13 Lockets then subtracting 7 Tunes - all in my head. It's a bit of menthol arithmetic. I was in the nat west bank in manchester yesterday The woman behind the counter started singing "Downtown". I thought to myself, "What a peculiar clerk." We just got in, and someone has stolen all the new turf we had laid last week. My wife is out there at the moment, looking forlorn. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 22, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 22, 2019 Nurse! He's out of bed again! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 22, 2019 Moderator Share Posted August 22, 2019 I think he's actually getting worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 I was watching the news about that dam in Derbyshire that was about to burst. Some people were in a speed boat crashing into it Turns out they weren't terrorists just the start of Ramadam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 3 hours ago, drat01 said: The average size of a male midget is 132 cm (4.33 ft)It's a little gnome fact. I've just been adding 4 Fisherman's Friends to 13 Lockets then subtracting 7 Tunes - all in my head. It's a bit of menthol arithmetic. I was in the nat west bank in manchester yesterday The woman behind the counter started singing "Downtown". I thought to myself, "What a peculiar clerk." We just got in, and someone has stolen all the new turf we had laid last week. My wife is out there at the moment, looking forlorn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Troglodyte Posted August 22, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 22, 2019 (edited) I've been having trouble sewing recently. Whoops, wrong thread. Edited August 22, 2019 by Troglodyte 3 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post drat01 Posted August 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 24, 2019 As a kid I used to play at the tyre dump - ahh those were good years I knew once I did it I shouldn’t have rubbed ketchup in my eyes - but that’s Heinz sight for you 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I loved it when Leo Sayer said I looked like Sam from cheers - he made me feel like Danson 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Someone has stolen my anti depressants. I hope they are **** happy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 How does a rabbit make his coffee? He brews it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted August 27, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, useless said: How does a rabbit make his coffee? He brews it. Classic. Joke destroyed by autocorrect. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 Let's say a big welcome to the new chairman of the British Budgerigar Society.... Hugh Zapritti-Boyden! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 What’s gray and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A parking lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 On 20/08/2019 at 14:55, Xann said: English person: Did you hear about the Irishman who... Irish person: Yeah, you were literally tricked by a bus. I don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veloman Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 My nephew is a Scouser and his birthday is tomorrow. He said he didn't know what he wanted so said just give him money. Therefore I've put a £20 note in his Grandma's purse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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