Stevo985 Posted August 13, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 13, 2019 What’s Harry Potter’s favourite way to get down a hill? Walking. jk Rolling 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 I watched a documentary last night all about the old shipyards and the way they used to make ships It was riveting 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 On the news it said that crime rate had risen in multi storey car parks That's just wrong at every level Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 (edited) Man goes to confession - Forgive me father I have sinned What have you done _ I have swore a lot and I mean a lot Tell me what happened I was playing golf and I hit the ball cleanly it was heading for 250 yards and then hit some low wires over the course and dropped dead Is that when you swore No Father not then. But a squirrel came out of the bushes, picked up my ball and started running back towards me Is that when you swore No Father not then But then an eagle picked up the squirrel and started flying towards the green Is that when you swore No father but then the squirrel dropped the ball, it bounced through some branches, hit a spade leaning up a tree and the ball rolled a foot away from the hole You missed the fcking put didn't you Edited August 15, 2019 by Robtaylor200 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 On the way to work today I saw an R.A.C. man sitting on the kerb crying I thought he's on his way to breakdown 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xann Posted August 15, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2019 What do you get if you cross Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Found in your cell, unresponsive. 11 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post drat01 Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many.” “That one is a freebie.” I'm out Birdwatching with Sinead O'Connor today. So far it's been 7 owls and 15 Jays Just called the Sea Life Centre for some tickets. They said my call would be recorded for training porpoises. A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar. The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!" Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty bodies. I get a thrill out of stealing kitchen utensils. I'm a whisk taker. 6 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post choffer Posted August 16, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 Last night my new girlfriend found out about my problem with premature ejaculation. To be fair to her, she took it on the chin. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 I was going to tell a joke about Sodium but I thought Na 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 6 hours ago, drat01 said: I'm out Birdwatching with Sinead O'Connor today. So far it's been 7 owls and 15 Jays Away on a lads do at the moment , Got in a cab in a Belgrade just now and that song came on the radio so I was able to shoe horn this joke in ... went down well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 16, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 16, 2019 8 minutes ago, tonyh29 said: Away on a lads do at the moment , Got in a cab in a Belgrade just now and that song came on the radio so I was able to shoe horn this joke in ... went down well I don't get it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Jokes always sound better from Peter Beardsley 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 What do you call a beehive with no exits Unbelievable 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted August 17, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 17, 2019 On 15/08/2019 at 09:20, Robtaylor200 said: On the news it said that crime rate had risen in multi storey car parks That's just wrong at every level Nearly good. Masterbating in a lift. That's wrong on so many levels. Better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 17, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 17, 2019 29 minutes ago, sidcow said: Masterbating in a lift. That's wrong on so many levels. It's certainly spelled wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted August 17, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 17, 2019 3 minutes ago, mjmooney said: It's certainly spelled wrong. Have a word with Android then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 17, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 17, 2019 1 minute ago, sidcow said: Have a word with Android then! As long as I don't have to speak to it via that bitch Alexa. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post villa4europe Posted August 19, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 19, 2019 guess who had 17 missed calls from their ex last night?! my ex 4 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 20, 2019 Moderator Share Posted August 20, 2019 On 19/08/2019 at 09:41, villa4europe said: guess who had 17 missed calls from their ex last night?! my ex Another one for general chat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 English person: Did you hear about the Irishman who... Irish person: Yeah, you were literally tricked by a bus. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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