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JohnCresswell

WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.

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A Dinosaur

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

Shut up.

Source.

Having read that site I now know where Bob Dylan got the lyrics for the Basement Tapes.
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I have just finished watching the Japanese porn version of The Wizard of Oz - I particularly liked the big song and dance number "swallow the yellow dick's load."


 

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That could've been embarrassing. The wife walked in and caught me wanking over Maria Sharapova.
I was actually watching Loose Women but managed to flick over and get my cock out in time.


 
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Why couldn't the coastguard save the Hippie, who was lost at sea?

 

Cus he was too far out, man!

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I told my patient there was good news and bad news.

He asked, "What's the bad news?"

I said, "You've got cancer."

"Oh ****," he gasped. "And the good news?"

I replied, "You won't be ginger for much longer."


 

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What did the blind man say when passing by the fish monger?

 

"Hello, ladies."

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What did the blind man say when passing by the fish monger?

"Hello, ladies."

One of my favourite jokes.

Although I add a long exaggerated sniff before the "hello ladies" when I tell it ;)

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Right on cue, Paul Gascoigne has arrived in Sydney Australia with a can of lager and a fishing rod


 
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"Islamic State terrorists hold up Lindt shop"

Great! I love Choc Isis.


 
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Just saw on the news that some poor bastard was trapped in a room full of Australians.


 
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Two cannibals are talking at a party.

"How are you going? " says one.

"I'm having a ball" says the other.

...

Later in the evening the first cannibal is feeling unwell and decides to leave the party. As he is walking home he passes the missionary in the street.

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Did you hear about the Guy who had his whole left side eaten by a shark.. he's all right now ! ! !................ I will get my coat

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