Stevo985 Posted March 29, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted March 29, 2013 Who are you and what have you done with PussEKatt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Meow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 A bloke in the pub shouts in a drunken rage "All lawyers are cnuts!!" I got up and screamed "Hey! You take that back! I take offence to that!" The bloke slurs "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No. I'm a cnut" I replied,punching him in the face. Works better with "Blues fan" instead of lawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) Some doctors are touring the local assylum when they see a patient painting a beautiful picture. Doctor: You cant be mad if you can paint like that. Patient: I am not mad. Doctor: Then why are you here ? Patient: Because I get all the paints I want,all the paper/canvass I want and I can spend all day painting. Just as the doctor is about to walk on he sees a man hanging from the ceiling. Doctor: Why is that man hanging from the ceiling ? Patient: Oh him, He is mad, he thinks he is a lightbulb. Doctor: Why dont you cut him down then ? Patient: What, and paint in the dark ? Seriously, just stop. Also, what's an 'assylum'? Sounds like a nightclub. Edited March 30, 2013 by Ginko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 A bloke in the pub shouts in a drunken rage "All lawyers are cnuts!!" I got up and screamed "Hey! You take that back! I take offence to that!" The bloke slurs "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No. I'm a cnut" I replied,punching him in the face. Works better with "Blues fan" instead of lawyer. You're right there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Just heard someone telling this in the pub "It all kicked off between me mom n dad last night" another bloke said "was they rowing against then" he replied "rowing??? He dropped the nut on her 6 times...he thought she was a **** squirrel" So shit it actually made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturdaygig Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Just heard someone telling this in the pub "It all kicked off between me mom n dad last night" another bloke said "was they rowing against then" he replied "rowing??? He dropped the nut on her 6 times...he thought she was a **** squirrel" So shit it actually made me laugh Can anyone just pop that into English for me? Googe translate wan't able to help. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stewiek2 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I came home early from work to find my wife sat in the living room. Completely out of character she told me to get my cock out and whank off in her face. I got such a hard on and whipped it out and started to toss myself off in her face vigorously. Just as I was about to come her mother walked in from the kitchen holding a freshly made cuppa. "There mum" said my wife "I told you he was a dirty sex obsessed bastard." stop posting what you n the missus did over easter ya bastard haha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Why doesn't Rihanna tell her boyfriend jokes any more.. ?He always beats her to the punchline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 an english man was laying in bed with his new thai wife .after sex she continued to stroke his cock.after a while he turned and asked do u like my cock that much? she replied....not really i just miss mine soooo much!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Why did it have to be an Englishman rather than a generic adult male ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 It was an Irishman originally but he changed it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) Seen a "paddy irishman" joke a page back not that it really bothered me just thought id mix it up a bit Edited April 5, 2013 by Meath_Villan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Didnt know if this should go in the youtube thread as it is frankie boyle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGHvWWETegQ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel1Avfc Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 What gets longer when pulled, fits between a woman's boobs, inserts neatly into a hole & works best when jerked hard? A seatbelt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knoppy1987 Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 I chuckled at this in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, especially as I work and live in Surrey (how bloody drab). What's the difference between a Range Rover and a Hedgehog? The Hedgehog has pricks on the outside. Good to see they thought that of people in Range Rovers in the 80s as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 a blonde drops her blouse off at the dry cleaners.as she was leaving the lady behind the counter said thank u come again to which the blonde replied.no its yogurt this time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 I chuckled at this in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, especially as I work and live in Surrey (how bloody drab). What's the difference between a Range Rover and a Hedgehog? The Hedgehog has pricks on the outside. Good to see they thought that of people in Range Rovers in the 80s as well. That should be 'ootside' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted April 7, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted April 7, 2013 Note to self: You now dislike "Auf Wiedersehen, Pet" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Note to self: You now dislike "Auf Wiedersehen, Pet" To be fair it can be applied to all 4x4s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts