mjmooney Posted February 15, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted February 15, 2013 Turns out that Oscar Pistorius shot his girlfriend with a starter pistol. It was race-related. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 15, 2013 Moderator Share Posted February 15, 2013 Like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markavfc40 Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Does anyone know any good mechanics?.....Kevin Webster isn't answering his phone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Just seen Kevin Webster in his garage working on a 12 year old escort......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 What's blue and full of Haribo? Kevin Webster's overalls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Don't ever buy tyres off Kevin Webster, they're all bald and barely legal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markavfc40 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Just been offered a new job by this bloke, £600 a week working for the brittle bone society... I snapped his **** hand off 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claretman Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything - trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 So this bloke walks into the Natural History Museum and sees the huge dinosaur skeleton in the foyer. He sees a man sweeping the floor around it and says "Excuse me, but how old would this dinosaur skeleton be?" Sweeping man says "This one here, sir, is 68 million years and seven weeks old." Bloke says "That's incredible. How can they date it so precisely?" Sweeping man says "Not sure. All I know is when I started here they told me it was 68 million years, and I've been here for seven weeks." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 21, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted February 21, 2013 1908 wants its joke back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Bah! 1867 wants its way of being rude about a joke back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Arsenal last won a trophy back in 2005 and the 'crazy frog ' was No1 8 years on and he's still there 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Had a really lucky escape whilst burgling a house the other night. I got nervous and was having a shit when this stunning woman walked in. I'm sure I heard gunshots as I hopped out the window. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I think Michael Le Vell who plays Coronation Street's Kevin Webster is one of the nation's finest actors. Any man that can appear on screen with two hot teenage daughters, one with massive tits and one a lesbian, and not look like he wants to **** both their brains out over the dining room table deserves a **** BAFTA if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrchnry Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Arsenal, lent lasts for 40 days not 7 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 22, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted February 22, 2013 I'm so stressed I've started sniffing glue. It's the only thing keeping me together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markavfc40 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I took being sent back to jail very badly, I wouldn't eat or drink, I fought with everybody and smeared the walls with my own shite. My family say they're never playing Monopoly with me again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 28, 2013 Moderator Share Posted February 28, 2013 Like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted February 28, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted February 28, 2013 Possibly a week late but........... Q. What's got two legs and kills women? A. The Pistorius brothers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 BOOM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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