CrackpotForeigner Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Where does virgin wool come from ? Sheep that have not been ****. Hey, is that why you can't get virgin wool from Basingstoke? (Just let me know if I'm late to the party) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I'll have you know we only rape prize fowl around here, ah-thank-you very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 13, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2012 You'll end up with a custom title of "fowl rapist" if you're not careful, Gareth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 How do Australian farmers find their sheep in long grass? Great, mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 That's so bad, it's almost an anti-joke. Though I kind of like it for that reason. Edit: @PussEkat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 You'll end up with a custom title of "fowl rapist" if you're not careful, Gareth. Well I am certainly not the pheasant plucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Well I am certainly not the pheasant plucker. Strictly a pre-plucked pleasant pheasant phucker then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could spell disaster. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 13, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2012 That's more like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 The police get a call from a house reporting people were damaging cars outside in the road. A car was sent and the officer found a group of youths causing mayhem with one of them dancing on the roof of a car. He radioed for backup, saying "There's a darkie dancing on a Volkswagen". "You can't say that over the radio!" replies the operator "You have to use the correct terminology" "Okay..." he says "Zulu... Tango... Golf..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted December 13, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2012 PussEKatt's back! I need some good cracker jokes for xmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted December 13, 2012 Moderator Share Posted December 13, 2012 I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could spell disaster. It's probably the only scenario where it's OK to have blood in your stool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Must not make shit shit joke joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could spell disaster. robbed for fb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
West Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Santa says to his Elf 'I am getting sick of this. It's the same old shit every year. Running about like a word removed in this stupid red costume and at the end of it I always end up with nothing.' The elf says 'Well now you know how Steven Gerrard feels...' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted December 14, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 14, 2012 Has anyone got the number for Oxfam? I've just received my water bill, but heard on TV that Oxfam can supply a whole family with water for just £2 per month. I'm looking to change suppliers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted December 14, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 14, 2012 Santa says to his Elf 'I am getting sick of this. It's the same old shit every year. Running about like a word removed in this stupid red costume and at the end of it I always end up with nothing.' The elf says 'Well now you know how Steven Gerrard feels...' At least Santa gets minced pies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelboyVilla Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I walked into my mums bedroom and under the bed I saw a suit- case half open. My curiosity got the better off me so I opened the case in it was a leather mask, a leather cape, crutchless leather shorts and a leather whip...... . . . . I couldn't believe it ..my mum . . . . . . . ..a super hero!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted December 17, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 17, 2012 This morning I woke up yelling "Hobbit, Hobbit, Hobbit, Hobbit" Evidently I've been Tolkien in my sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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