Demitri_C Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 This man is walking down the road and hears someone crying. He stops and looks over the fence and sees a woman without any arms or legs crying beside a pool. He asks "What's the problem?" she says "Well I've never been hugged before." Well this is a nice guy so he hops the fence and gives her a hug. Half an hour later he is going back to his car and hears her crying. He asks "Now what's wrong?" she says "I've been thinking and..I've never been kissed before". Well the guy thinks what's the harm in giving her a kiss to make her feel better? He hops the fence and gives her a kiss. At his car he finds that his keys are lost so he goes back to the girl and finds his keys there but he sees her crying again. "Now what's wrong" he asked She responds "I've never been **** before" The guy picks her up and throws her into the pool and says "Now you're **** real good." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 i thought she was on a beach and the tide was coming in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Them Jimmy Savile advent calendars are shit! The flaps only open from 1-16. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingfisher Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Topless Kate's up the duff. Looks like she'll be eating for one now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Kate Middleton's not pregnant. It's just an ingrowing heir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Stolen for FB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 I'm just about to phone Piers Morgan and pretend that I am the Queen. Hope he falls for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Too soon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted December 10, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 10, 2012 It's never too soon if Piers Morgan is the butt of the joke. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. Rodney Dangerfield Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 11, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 11, 2012 ^^^^ That's my wife's favourite joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 11, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 11, 2012 Occasional tables. What are they the rest of the time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
privateer Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Jacintha Saldanha has been found apparently alive and well. In a phone call to the Australian radio station she said " How's that for a **** prank you words removed?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa_kie Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 R.I.P Sir Patrick Moore, though if you ever found him probing Uranus in the 1970's, nows the time to speak up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa_kie Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 The F.A have today announced a significant rule change. Anyone caught passing to Gervinho will be booked for time wasting 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted December 12, 2012 Moderator Share Posted December 12, 2012 I like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Where does virgin wool come from ? Sheep that have not been ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 13, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2012 Oh no, the PussEKatt jokes have started again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted December 13, 2012 Moderator Share Posted December 13, 2012 In a way I kinda missed them. Could you extend the joke and say that no virgin wool ever comes from Wales? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Where does virgin wool come from ? Sheep that have not been ****. No wonder you can't buy any in Wales, then. Edit: OH FFS BOF! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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