BOF Posted February 24, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 24, 2011 If you're always organising things, you have OCD. If you're always eating things, you have OBCD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudevillaisnice Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 haha that's quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted February 25, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 25, 2011 Granddad - 'Hear about that tornado thats hit Australia?' Grandson - (Sarcastically) 'Tell us something we DONT know Grand pops!' Granddad - '......Your grand mums arse can take my entire fist!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 25, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 25, 2011 :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Went to a bulimia party yesterday. Place was heaving. I thank you. *raises spectacles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 A Yorkshire-man takes his pet to be neutered. "Is it a Tom?" asks the vet. Puzzled the man replies "No Lad, it's in t'box" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 25, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 25, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Granddad - 'Hear about that tornado thats hit Australia?' Grandson - (Sarcastically) 'Tell us something we DONT know Grand pops!' Granddad - '......Your grand mums arse can take my entire fist!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted February 25, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 25, 2011 Granddad - 'Hear about that tornado thats hit Australia?' Grandson - (Sarcastically) 'Tell us something we DONT know Grand pops!' Granddad - '......Your grand mums arse can take my entire fist!' I got an inkling you would like it Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted February 25, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 25, 2011 Woman & baby go to docs. Doc is concerned about babys weight. "Is he bottle or breast fed" he asks. "Breast fed" says woman. He asks her to strip to the waist, pinches & sucks her nipples & rubs both tits for a while. "no wonder he's under weight you've no milk" . "I know" says the woman "I'm his gran, but I'm **** glad I came" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted February 25, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 25, 2011 A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as it comes home, it rushes & **** all the 150 hens... The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all the 150 hens. Farmer gets tense now. Next day, he finds the cock **** the ducks & the geese. Later, the farmer finds the cock pale, half-dead & vultures circling overhead. Farmer says "You deserved it, you horny little bastard!" The cock opens one eye,points up & says "Ssshhh. They're about to land." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Like that last one Al. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Woman & baby go to docs. Doc is concerned about babys weight. "Is he bottle or breast fed" he asks. "Breast fed" says woman. He asks her to strip to the waist, pinches & sucks her nipples & rubs both tits for a while. "no wonder he's under weight you've no milk" . "I know" says the woman "I'm his gran, but I'm **** glad I came" This is absolutely hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Woman & baby go to docs. Doc is concerned about babys weight. "Is he bottle or breast fed" he asks. "Breast fed" says woman. He asks her to strip to the waist, pinches & sucks her nipples & rubs both tits for a while. "no wonder he's under weight you've no milk" . "I know" says the woman "I'm his gran, but I'm **** glad I came" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 How did I know Rob would love it!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Not sure if it's bin dunne but. Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?" The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders. Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 25, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 25, 2011 That's one of those jokes where you know what the punchline is gonna be half way through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I had a German plumber in the other day. He accidentally connected the gas supply to the shower. ****' old habits die hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted February 25, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 25, 2011 I had a German plumber in the other day. He accidentally connected the gas supply to the shower. ****' old habits die hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted March 3, 2011 Moderator Share Posted March 3, 2011 Prostitute, new to the game was told by her pimp "No sex for the 1st 7days, just wanks". She asks, "Why only wanks?", Pimp says "Union rules, you gotta work a week in hand" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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