YLN Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 A woman goes into a bar and asks for a "double entendre". So the bartender gave her one. A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I just dumped my cross eyed girlfriend. She was looking at another man. The version I heard was, Just dumped that cross eyed bitch. Turns out she was seeing someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonVilla Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Foetus walks into a bar... asks for a womb for the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Foetus walks into a bar... asks for a womb for the night. I'll get yer coat........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted February 6, 2010 Share Posted February 6, 2010 Because I can't find it anywhere on here or Terry page....I'll add my favourite joke so far: John Terry has done nothing wrong. All coaching manuals state that if the full back leaves a hole, it's the centre back's job to fill it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenavfc1874 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Fella walks into see his doctor, Doctor: Have you got a history of flat feet in your family? Patient: No, but we have got World War II in pictures Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wol. Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Three blues fans walk into a Bar........ A Burgular, a Mugger and a Drug pusher....and that was just the first one!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted February 7, 2010 Moderator Share Posted February 7, 2010 How do Evertonians says please? In german obviously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 A Down Syndrome child walks up to an ice cream truck and asks for an icecream. The salesman asks what flavour he'd like. "It doesn't matter", answered the Down Syndrome kid, "I'm only going to drop it anyway" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 How do Evertonians says please? In german obviously Took me a second but yeah :winkold: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Dont get the evertonian one tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 and yea i know bitte is please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 and yea i know bitte is please. bitte is pronounced bitter. The joke implies that Everton fans are bitter. Not something I have ever really noticed but Bickster lives up that way I think and would possibly have more contact with Evertonians. IMO anyway. I may have misunderstood the joke tbh but that seems plausible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 All from Sickipedia. My missus has just found out that I've been screwing another woman in our bed. Damn that memory foam mattress! My wife just dumped me because I'm "The king of stupid comparisons." I feel like a bacon sandwich on chemotherapy. Driving through town last night a cop pulled me over, when he got to my car door he said, "Do you know why I stopped you, sir?" I replied, "Well, if you've forgotten already, I'm not **** reminding you." Walked past a shop the other day and there was a sign in the window: TV FOR SALE, VOLUME STUCK ON FULL. I thought to myself 'well, I can't turn that down' In light of the latest defence budget cuts, the navy has announced a more up to date recruitment campaign: The Royal Navy We're all in the same boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 The last two were very good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 8, 2010 VT Supporter Share Posted February 8, 2010 Walked past a shop the other day and there was a sign in the window: TV FOR SALE, VOLUME STUCK ON FULL. I thought to myself 'well, I can't turn that down' That one is brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colples Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Sign seen in an Indian Restaurant-'Try our curries you'll never get better' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qwpzxjor1 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Sign seen in an Indian Restaurant-'Try our curries you'll never get better' Aye, that was brought up in a Jimmy Carr stand up. And the 'Family Planning Advice, Use Rear Entrance' one was from the hospital near me, Northampton General. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I was having my balls examined the other day by my doctor. As he was holding them he said " it's quite normal to have an erection "... i said " er ?..i haven't got one " He said " no...but i have " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today. Apparently, ' finish off on her face ' didn't mean what i thought it did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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