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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude
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A man goes to bed and reaches over to his wife. He starts to slide his hand slowly across her shoulders then down her side just glancing her breasts, then carries on down her sides and legs. He slides her legs apart and slowly runs his hand up and down the inner side of her thighs. He moves back towards the top and stops. His wife gasps " why have you stopped ? "...He replies " I've found the remote...**** off back to sleep you fat bitch "

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A man goes to bed and reaches over to his wife. He starts to slide his hand slowly across her shoulders then down her side just glancing her breasts, then carries on down her sides and legs. He slides her legs apart and slowly runs his hand up and down the inner side of her thighs. He moves back towards the top and stops. His wife gasps " why have you stopped ? "...He replies " I've found the remote...**** off back to sleep you fat bitch "

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I just put in a planning application for a new house.

It was going to be 100 feet tall and 400 ft wide with nine turrets at various heights and windows all over the place, and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green.

The city council told me to '**** Off'.

So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque. Building starts next Monday

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An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands.

He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian

Barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his

accent. Over the Course of the evening they get chatting. At the

end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to

pay her $200 to sleep with him.

As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she

agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and

After showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him

Again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to

agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again,

orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks

that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more

cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia. - "Melbourne", he tells

her.

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires. "Glen Iris" he replies.

"That's amazing........." she says excitedly, "..........so am I -

what street?"

"Cameo Street" he replies.

"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What

number?" "Number 20", he replies.

She is totally astonished.

"You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams, "but I'm

from number 22! My parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"

Worth bringing back from October 2006.

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Hope this hasn`t been done already....

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years.

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek medical expertise with the

well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr Chang said

'OK, take off all your crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."

Again the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr Chang then said

"OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

As she did Dr Chang shook his head slowly.

"Your probrem vewy bad. You have Ed Zachary disease. Wurse

case I ever see.Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

The woman asked anxiously

"Oh my God,Dr Chang what is Ed Zachary disease?"

Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied,

" Ed Zachary disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse ."

Funniest thing I've heard in ages. Brought a tear to the eye. I love it.

Very much worth bumping...

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Hope this hasn`t been done already....

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years.

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek medical expertise with the

well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr Chang said

'OK, take off all your crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."

Again the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr Chang then said

"OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

As she did Dr Chang shook his head slowly.

"Your probrem vewy bad. You have Ed Zachary disease. Wurse

case I ever see.Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

The woman asked anxiously

"Oh my God,Dr Chang what is Ed Zachary disease?"

Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied,

" Ed Zachary disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse ."

Funniest thing I've heard in ages. Brought a tear to the eye. I love it.

Very much worth bumping...

:crylaugh:

Never heard/read that before, it's brilliant.

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  • VT Supporter

Just bought a fantastic game for my PS3. It's about a black guy who drives around shagging whores, uses violence with metal bars, crashes cars and evades the police. It's called Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09.

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Went to the doctors the other day, it turns out he reckons I'm paranoid. He didn't say it but I know what the bastard was thinking....

(Again credit goes to another VT member who doesn't post much)

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