mjmooney Posted February 13, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted February 13, 2019 1 minute ago, BOF said: In the 1980s, a freight plane full of car parts exploded over Japan. It rained Datsun cogs. Aged like a fine old wine, that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbojangles Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 seeing as though its Valentines - "If you step on a purple mushroom, you'll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world," warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn't step on any purple mushrooms. Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: "We have to marry." "Why?" asked the man, smiling. "I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!" she replied. Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? They’re getting married in the spring! Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. 'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.' 'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.' Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Why did Michael Jackson invent the Moonwalk? It was a great way to get out of kids' bedrooms unheard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted February 15, 2019 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted February 15, 2019 How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg. 4 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 15, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted February 15, 2019 33 minutes ago, BOF said: How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ml1dch Posted February 21, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted February 21, 2019 I went to the doctor as my crossword addiction was making me depressed. He told me not to get too down. 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted February 23, 2019 Moderator Share Posted February 23, 2019 What's the difference between a Lada and a Jehovah's Witness Spoiler You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 Jokes involving Datsuns, Michael Jackson and a Lada. Welcome to 1985! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeVillan Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 15 hours ago, Xela said: Jokes involving Datsuns, Michael Jackson and a Lada. Welcome to 1985! I'm not sure if you know this but us Villa fans live in the past. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted March 6, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 6, 2019 Both Cream and The Jam were going to reunite for gigs in Devon and Cornwall this year, but the venues couldn't agree about who should go on first. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 I met this guy from Italy who was really strict about his diet. His name was Only One Cannoli. My wife suggested for sex we do something from a song. Her friend Eileen wasn't to happy about it. In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack. Those damn mooselimbs. I just downloaded the Bohemian Rhapsody movie. I think it was filmed in a cinema though, I see a little silhouetto of a man. 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted March 6, 2019 Moderator Share Posted March 6, 2019 49 minutes ago, drat01 said: I met this guy from Italy who was really strict about his diet. His name was Only One Cannoli. My wife suggested for sex we do something from a song. Her friend Eileen wasn't to happy about it. In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack. Those damn mooselimbs. I just downloaded the Bohemian Rhapsody movie. I think it was filmed in a cinema though, I see a little silhouetto of a man. I see the terrible joke therapy didn't go as well as hoped, Ian 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted March 6, 2019 Moderator Share Posted March 6, 2019 1 hour ago, drat01 said: I met this guy from Italy who was really strict about his diet. His name was Only One Cannoli. My wife suggested for sex we do something from a song. Her friend Eileen wasn't to happy about it. In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack. Those damn mooselimbs. I just downloaded the Bohemian Rhapsody movie. I think it was filmed in a cinema though, I see a little silhouetto of a man. 2 I'd say welcome back but after that entrance, I'm not sure it's wise 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted March 8, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 8, 2019 In honour of international women’s day..... Where do mansplainers get their water? From a well, actually ... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 I never understood why people compared Michael Jackson to a disposable grocery bag? I mean, one is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. The other you put groceries in. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 What do you call a Rooster staring at a pile of lettice? A chicken sees a salad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 What's the difference between a priest and a zit? - A zit will wait till your 12 before it comes on your face. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 (edited) So yesterday was supposed to be International Women's day! But they moved it to today instead because the f*****s took too long to get ready! Edited March 9, 2019 by AvfcRigo82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeVillan Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 Dear lord 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 2 hours ago, TreeVillan said: Dear lord Sorry, I don't get it. It might work better without the punchline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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