Robtaylor200 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I was stood in the park, wondering why frisbees look bigger the closer they get Then it hit me 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Snowmen 2 snowmen go in a pub. One says Your round 2 snowmen sitting by the fire and ones says where's he gone 2 snow men talking one says can you smell carrots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted November 6, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 6, 2018 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 6, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 6, 2018 A Tale Of Two Cities was originally serialised in two Midlands local papers. It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times. (think it might be a bindunne) 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 6, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 6, 2018 4 minutes ago, choffer said: A Tale Of Two Cities was originally serialised in two Midlands local papers. It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times. (think it might be a bindunne) It is. By me, iirc. Worth a rerun, though. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 I was thinking about that joke the other day, I reckon it's one of the most perfect jokes I've ever come across. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted November 7, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2018 A guy tries to walk into a bar but the bouncer says "No tie, no admittance". The guy goes back to his car, looks for a tie but only finds jump leads. He arranges them around his neck like a tie and heads back in. The bouncer gives him an appraising glance, and says "OK; I'll let you in. But don't start anything." 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted November 7, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 7, 2018 The planet is saved! They have finally solved what to do with the piles of old car tyres. They are recycling them by turning them into condoms. Apparently there are 365 in a Goodyear. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted November 8, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 8, 2018 15 hours ago, rjw63 said: A guy tries to walk into a bar but the bouncer says "No tie, no admittance". The guy goes back to his car, looks for a tie but only finds jump leads. He arranges them around his neck like a tie and heads back in. The bouncer gives him an appraising glance, and says "OK; I'll let you in. But don't start anything." Coincidentally, the tie he ended up wearing had a very high admittance!! (for the electricians/electrical engineers/physicists out there) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ml1dch Posted November 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 8, 2018 Picked up a new thesaurus today. It's nothing to write house about. 11 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 A piece of string decides to go for a night out on the town, and heads to one of the most popular night clubs in the city. As he approaches the door, the bouncer stops him, and tells him he cant go in. " Sorry mate. No strings allowed in. Club policy." Feeling dejected, the piece of string goes back to his car, ties his head in a knot, and brushes the end, hoping that his new disguise will trick the bouncer. He approaches the club again, but the bouncer sees through him. " Oi mate. Aren't you that piece of string that tried to get in 20 minutes ago?" The piece of string replies " No. I am afraid not." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post il_serpente Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2018 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 5 hours ago, AJ said: A piece of string decides to go for a night out on the town, and heads to one of the most popular night clubs in the city. As he approaches the door, the bouncer stops him, and tells him he cant go in. " Sorry mate. No strings allowed in. Club policy." Feeling dejected, the piece of string goes back to his car, ties his head in a knot, and brushes the end, hoping that his new disguise will trick the bouncer. He approaches the club again, but the bouncer sees through him. " Oi mate. Aren't you that piece of string that tried to get in 20 minutes ago?" The piece of string replies " No. I am afraid not." I had a CD-ROM that I got from the discount store in the small town where I grew up (one that just sold cheap bits and pieces of everything) for a couple of quid, which I think was called '1001 Jokes' or something like that. Must have been when I'd just got my first PC, so around 1999/2000, I reckon. Anyway, this joke was on there and it triggered that memory from my childhood. I think I quite liked the joke at the time and used it in the playground, with mixed success. It isn't a very good joke. Plethora. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 13 hours ago, AJ said: A piece of string decides to go for a night out on the town, and heads to one of the most popular night clubs in the city. As he approaches the door, the bouncer stops him, and tells him he cant go in. " Sorry mate. No strings allowed in. Club policy." Feeling dejected, the piece of string goes back to his car, ties his head in a knot, and brushes the end, hoping that his new disguise will trick the bouncer. He approaches the club again, but the bouncer sees through him. " Oi mate. Aren't you that piece of string that tried to get in 20 minutes ago?" The piece of string replies " No. I am afraid not." That's bloody funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 9, 2018 17 hours ago, ml1dch said: Picked up a new thesaurus today. It's nothing to write house about. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 On 09/11/2018 at 02:55, Troglodyte said: I had a CD-ROM that I got from the discount store in the small town where I grew up (one that just sold cheap bits and pieces of everything) for a couple of quid, which I think was called '1001 Jokes' or something like that. Must have been when I'd just got my first PC, so around 1999/2000, I reckon. Anyway, this joke was on there and it triggered that memory from my childhood. I think I quite liked the joke at the time and used it in the playground, with mixed success. It isn't a very good joke. Plethora. That means a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imavillan Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Three young braves come of age and they all ask the chief for the hand of his daughter Princess Rain Bow. There was Rain Face. He got his name from going out in the rain looking up to see where is was coming from. Then there was Babbling Brook, he used to stick his head in the water to see where the noise was coming from. And then there was Falling Rock. He loved to climb on the rocks but kept falling off. The chief sent them all out to hunt and gather. Whoever came back with the biggest bounty could have his daughter as their wife. He gave them a week. Just as the week was up. Rain Face came into camp with his arms full of fruit. He was followed by Babbling Brook with arms filled with fish and dragging a small deer. As the sun set Falling Rock was nowhere to be found. After a week the chief sent out groups in all directions but they never did find Falling rock. Even till this day if you drive through the mountains you will see signs, Look out for Falling Rock. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted November 14, 2018 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted November 14, 2018 What do you call a Dublin man who breaks up fights? Liam Malone. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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