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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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23 hours ago, Ginko said:

Did you know dogs can't operate an MRI?

But catscan.

There's another joke along similar lines which I will attempt to butcher........

 

Man goes to the doctor for a private check-up. Doc gives him the all-clear. Man demands a second opinion so the doc opens the door and in walks a tabby cat. Cat looks the man up and down, nods to the doc and leaves. 

The doc tells the man he's fine and there's nothing wrong with him. The patient, still unhappy, asks for another opinion so again, the doc holds the door open and in walks a labrador. The dog walks around the man, sniffing as he goes. Once finished he looks at the doctor and gives him a nod. 

The doctor tells his patient that having been checked thoroughly three times, he is 100% certain there is nothing wrong with him and hands the patient his bill which comes to £1,000.

The guy can't believe the price and asks for a breakdown so he can understand why it was so expensive.

The doc replies "The original consultation was £100 but you weren't happy so the catscan was another £400 and the lab test was £500."

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On 04/02/2017 at 11:25, AJ said:

How is KFC like sex?

After you are done with the breast and thighs, you put the greasy bone in the box.

Once you get past the tender breasts and juicy thighs all that's left is a greasy bucket.

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54 minutes ago, Dante_Lockhart said:

Once you get past the tender breasts and juicy thighs all that's left is a greasy bucket.

If you are purchasing at the cheap and nasty end of the market you are going to feel sick afterwards.

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On 20/02/2017 at 08:56, Designer1 said:

Went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday.

He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"

I said, "No, but I have told a donkey to **** off!"
 

This is my favorite joke of all time, I don't know why but if I try to tell it to someone I always end up cracking up before I even finish it, its not even that funny

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On 17/02/2017 at 22:20, sidcow said:

I was going to go on holiday to Thailand with a friend but then he said Phuket. 

I was going to do drugs in Thailand, but my friend advised against it. When I asked why, he said "Phuket"

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I hate getting old. I was at a lap-dancing club last night and as I tucked a tenner into her underwear she whispered, "Come upstairs with me and I'll give you super sex."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll have the soup."

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Heisenberg was flying along in his sports care when he got pulled over.   The policeman asked, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?"   Heisenberg replied, "No, but I knew exactly where I was."

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