Paddywhack Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 3 hours ago, Paddywhack said: What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. I laughed entirely too much at this. Great work. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted May 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted May 1, 2020 18 hours ago, Paddywhack said: What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. Crabs don't have breast, silly! Q: What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a girls track team? A: A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning little runts and a girls track team is something else entirely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 Stolen from afterlife What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 5 hours ago, villa4europe said: Stolen from afterlife What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson The funniest bit in that series was the psychiatrist explaining why his mate is called ‘The Nonce’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 Is my Thai girlfriend really a guy? Something inside me says yes. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 Some Americans call their toilet "the John" I call my toilet "the Jim". It sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Nigel Posted May 6, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted May 6, 2020 While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay? As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for. "I'm okay I think." I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look. She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head." "That's nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife will like me doing that!" "Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly." Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this." We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now." Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?" "My guess is that she's still in the ditch." 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimzk5 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Got myself some new aftershave that smells like breadcrumbs The birds love it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted May 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 10, 2020 I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home from work but she just grunted at me. I think she still regrets letting me name the twins. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 The man who invented hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has died. R.I.P. Scott Chegg. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 My mate asked me what my ringtone is. I said " I've never seen it, but I'm guessing it's a light brown". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas and a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting out front said "I've not eaten for two days". I told him "I wish I had your will power". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 14, 2020 Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2020 43 minutes ago, rjw63 said: My mate asked me what my ringtone is. I said " I've never seen it, but I'm guessing it's a light brown". @drat01 called and wants his defender in a wheelie bin back. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tonyh29 Posted May 14, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 14, 2020 So the government have said that we can only play football with members of our own family. Norwich vs Ipswich kicks off at 3pm this Saturday. 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 5 hours ago, BOF said: @drat01 called and wants his defender in a wheelie bin back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 27, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2020 Before my surgery, my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas, or with a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 I had a mate who liked to dip his balls in hot liquid before getting it on. Not my cup of tea. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 27, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2020 On 14/05/2020 at 17:01, BOF said: @drat01 called and wants his defender in a wheelie bin back. A 9 year bindunne Excellent work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted May 27, 2020 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted May 27, 2020 All these years I've been using beefstew1 as a password, but I'm beginning to worry it's not stroganoff. 4 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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