Things of the decade

[Xela]

1 hour ago, villa4europe said:

I think the main thing for me this decade was realising how unhappy I was with "normal", stuff like gigs, football, weekend drinking, eating shit etc work, mainly just myself and the person I had lazily become, there were several traits in my character which others liked but I didn't 

2018 I cancelled my wedding, left my partner after 16 years, lost 3 stone, moved to Germany

I live a very different life, shocked a lot of people, absolutely love it and other than breaking some hearts wouldn't change a thing 

Some big changes there mate! What was the trigger? Was there one moment you just thought "enough is enough"?

[Xela]

29 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Probably not...but he certainly doesn't LOOK happy like he used to. When she shouted (and I mean shouted) across a church car park in Barbados "YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T HAVING ANY MORE RUM PUNCH" when on an island tour (BTW Teds Tours, great stuff) even people we didn't know looked at him and looked sad

BTW this is not a fling, they just got a house together, unfortunately.

Sounds like coercive / controlling behaviour. More prevalent in men controlling women but can happen the other way. 

My mate got married after a 'whirlwind' romance and she dominated him, and not in a good way! Wasn't allowed to see his mates again, demanded he shut down his social media accounts, demanded his mobile phone passcode and basically he became a husk of a man. Luckily they split up so we got him back but it was a sad sight for a few years. 

[bickster]

4 hours ago, Sam-AVFC said:

Hold on...is that the official way of measuring it?
 

Makes so much more sense to me that the decade starts when the 3rd character changes so 2010-2019, 2020-2029 otherwise the 2020s don’t even include 2020. Madness and I want nothing to do with it.

The first year is year 1, therefore the tenth year is year ten, the decade ends at the end of year ten/

Similarly the new milleniium started in 2001 despite what the media & government whould have had you believe in the run up to the year 2000

Another way to look at it is that the 20th century finished at the end of 2000, that makes more sense surely?

There is no year 0

[villa4europe]

3 minutes ago, Xela said:

Some big changes there mate! What was the trigger? Was there one moment you just thought "enough is enough"?

I think the impending wedding made me question how much I actually wanted it all, people asking like "are you excited" and in all honesty I was shrugging my shoulders saying not really

No one really big row or anything, a slow realisation as to how unhappy I was, talking to the new missus kind of came like talking to a shrink, she questioned things that I never did before and it all unravelled, my ex hopefully now sees it the same, we were both unhappy together bouncing off each other in a shit way 

[Xela]

6 minutes ago, bickster said:

The first year is year 1, therefore the tenth year is year ten, the decade ends at the end of year ten/

Similarly the new milleniium started in 2001 despite what the media & government whould have had you believe in the run up to the year 2000

Another way to look at it is that the 20th century finished at the end of 2000, that makes more sense surely?

There is no year 0

Its the mathematical calendrical decade vs the cultural and social definition of a decade. 

Yes, if we look at decades in blocks of 10 then it will be 1-10, 11-20, as you say, there was no year 0.

However from a cultural reference perspective we now go on the 0-9 scale as it makes more sense and is easier to define. Hence why for most people 2020 is the start of a new decade, the twenties. 

[bickster]

4 minutes ago, Xela said:

Its the mathematical calendrical decade vs the cultural and social definition of a decade. 

Yes, if we look at decades in blocks of 10 then it will be 1-10, 11-20, as you say, there was no year 0.

However from a cultural reference perspective we now go on the 0-9 scale as it makes more sense and is easier to define. Hence why for most people 2020 is the start of a new decade, the twenties. 

people are stupid... and wrong

How can the year 2000 be in the 21st century? It is the final year of the 20th century

[chrisp65]

Well, if we’re all going full pedant can I also point out for future reference, we’re about to enter the ‘20s not the 20’s.

Thank you.

[KentVillan]

17 hours ago, bickster said:

people are stupid... and wrong

How can the year 2000 be in the 21st century? It is the final year of the 20th century

I'm going to blow your mind here.

What if I told you that 1 BC is also 'year zero', and then you can count from year zero up 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 as the first decade of the millennium? Meaning we have just entered the 202nd decade.

This is a real thing, called astronomical year numbering (2 BC is -1, 3 BC is -2, etc. and all the positive years are the same), and by converting all the years into a conventional integer series, it makes all the maths more straightforward. So when people say the 2020s are a new decade, they're just using a more logical year numbering system than you (which, if you think about it, is the same as the way we count people's ages - turning 20 marks a new decade in someone's life, because we are born age 0, not age 1).

[bickster]

2 hours ago, KentVillan said:

What if I told you that 1 BC is also 'year zero'

it's precisely that too, a fudge so astronomers can do maths

[KentVillan]

Whereas counting backwards from the probably incorrect birthdate of a semi-fictional cult leader is entirely logical 

Edited January 1, 2020 by KentVillan

[chrisp65]

On 30/12/2019 at 21:42, sharkyvilla said:

I think I must be getting old because I could probably make a list like this and realise that a lot of my answers predate 2010.  The decade has gone in a blink of an eye, I thought old people were talking shit when saying it goes quicker when you get older but it's pretty depressing.  I've probably only bought half a dozen albums in that time too, when I used to buy one a week when I was at college.  **** getting old.  And I'm only 34.

I was putting ‘Love Letter’ by Nick Cave as my fave song, hesitated, checked.

2001

 

[bickster]

8 hours ago, KentVillan said:

Whereas counting backwards from the probably incorrect birthdate of a semi-fictional cult leader is entirely logical 

Whilst I agree, wholeheartedly, with that (apart from the semi bit), there does have to be a start point somewhere and this is the point the Western World appear to have chosen, changing that now would appear silly without good reason. Your astrological fudge as uses this very same concept for that precise reason I suspect

[Risso]

On 31/12/2019 at 10:14, bickster said:

Oh has anyone done the pedantic thing of pointing out that the decade has another year to run yet?

 

I think you’re falling into the trap of confusing centuries, millenia and decades and how we describe them. The 2020s clearly start in 2020. The fact that there was no year 0 doesn’t mean that 1960 was still part of the fifties.

[Stevo985]

On 31/12/2019 at 16:52, rjw63 said:

Probably not...but he certainly doesn't LOOK happy like he used to. When she shouted (and I mean shouted) across a church car park in Barbados "YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T HAVING ANY MORE RUM PUNCH" when on an island tour (BTW Teds Tours, great stuff) even people we didn't know looked at him and looked sad

BTW this is not a fling, they just got a house together, unfortunately.

This stuff is really shit.

My sister is in a similar situation, I think. It's hard to tell from the outside looking in but she certainly seems to be restricted in what she does and who she does it with by her partner. They're getting married later this year.

Ultimately I think she's happy so you just have to deal with it, but it can be sad looking at it form the outside. Biggest thing for me is my sister's partner doesn't work much. She doesn't seem to be able to hold down a job for more than a month (always their fault of course) and goes long periods without working. Which is fine, I'm not blaming her for that. But my sister has to pick up the slack financially, and she doesn't exactly have a huge salary. So I worry about her getting stressed with money and stuff. They have a completely shared bank account. Everything goes in there. Meaning if her partner buys something it's my sister's cash a lot of the time.

 

Anyway, I digress. Ultimately I think as much as you hate it, if he's happy you've got to deal with it. You don't want to alienate him by falling out with him or his partner. 
It might be worth a constructive conversation though to make sure he IS happy and not just stuck in the relationship. Someone to talk to could help. 
it worked with my sister. They're still together, but my Mom had a proper conversation with her about it and my sister was totally aware of the situation, how it looked, how difficult it was for her. But she was sure she was happy and this is what she wanted so went for it.

Bit of a soppy post

[Stevo985]

On 31/12/2019 at 17:43, bickster said:

people are stupid... and wrong

How can the year 2000 be in the 21st century? It is the final year of the 20th century

Start a petition mate. I reckon you could get this changed

[bickster]

2 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

Start a petition mate. I reckon you could get this changed

I don't need to, my position is the status quo

[Stevo985]

Just now, bickster said:

I don't need to, my position is the status quo

But everybody is celebrating the new decade. You need to raise awareness of this critical issue!

[lapal_fan]

I don't care really  

The 2010-2020 decade was alright.. made a few mistakes and was made redundant a couple of times, but I've always landed on my feet.  I've had a few epiphanies in the last couple of years as to how the world works and how you have to act in it.  My inner me just wants to do something creative, but home owning, child owning me sticks to proper work to pay the bills.  

Always have something to look forward to.  

This and next year will be tough as the wife is looking to retrain, so that's a year saving and then she'll be in full time education from September until July 2021 becoming a primary teacher, enabling us to forget 13 weeks a year childcare and so she can spend more time with the kiddies, which will work out nicely.

My aims are to earn more money so I can buy a house I can call home.  I've been in my current house for 3 years now and whilst I like where it is (overlooking greenbelt), I've never fully loved the house and have felt quite unsettled there lately, for some reason.  Houses are expensive though.. 

[A'Villan]

Being born in 1990, this decade for me has represented my 20's. I have to be up in 5 hours so lucky for you lot no A'Villan essays on that one.

Started my twenties miserably, but overcame my daily substance abuse by age 21, something that'd been with me for nearly 8 years.

Made the decision to cut ties with certain people who I'd run with since my first year in high school, I was learning that anyone who doesn't care for themselves can't care for others.

Age 22 I enrolled to get my high school certificate at an adult education center (sounds like a kink school detention center) and scraped through, except I excelled in Global Politics.

Later in my 20's I returned to the game of basketball and worked my way back to the highest divisions in the country.

That's what I will miss most about my twenties I think. Chasing a leather ball around and throwing it at 10ft high ring all day, and at times all night.

There really is something about releasing endorphins with a group of like minded people that is just about the best remedy for whatever ails you.

Ha! And I almost had you convinced that this wasn't going to be another one of my life story posts!

[Xela]

7 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Ultimately I think she's happy so you just have to deal with it, but it can be sad looking at it form the outside. Biggest thing for me is my sister's partner doesn't work much. She doesn't seem to be able to hold down a job for more than a month (always their fault of course) and goes long periods without working. Which is fine, I'm not blaming her for that. But my sister has to pick up the slack financially, and she doesn't exactly have a huge salary. So I worry about her getting stressed with money and stuff. They have a completely shared bank account. Everything goes in there. Meaning if her partner buys something it's my sister's cash a lot of the time.

Something for the things I don't get thread - a sole shared bank account.

I get a lot of people have a shared account and pay a set amount in from their main accounts for the mortgage/bills etc. That makes sense, but a shared account where you don't have another account? No way! Absolutely no way in hell would I ever sign up for that.