Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
NurembergVillan

The Weirdness Amnesty Thread

Recommended Posts

Just now, Ingram85 said:

Dont '@' him, he might bloody appear.

Oh and don't forget @Morpheus

:)

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
39 minutes ago, Ingram85 said:

Dont '@' him, he might bloody appear.

It’ll only happen if you say the username 3 times in a mirror.....

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, bannedfromHandV said:

It’ll only happen if you say the username 3 times in a toilet mirror.....

FTFY.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have so many weird things I do.

After a shower I wipe the water off my body with my hands before grabbing a towel.

Walking between rooms at home I often bowl a few imaginary cricket balls.

I have a plastic step from IKEA that I put my feet on while taking a dump.

My guilty reading pleasure is Jack Reacher novels. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, AVFC_Hitz said:

I have so many weird things I do.

After a shower I wipe the water off my body with my hands before grabbing a towel.

Walking between rooms at home I often bowl a few imaginary cricket balls.

I have a plastic step from IKEA that I put my feet on while taking a dump.

My guilty reading pleasure is Jack Reacher novels. 

Nothing wrong with that, he's sold 200 million books! I have them all of course ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Nothing wrong with that, he's sold 200 million books! I have them all of course ;)

What, all 200 million? 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, mjmooney said:

What, all 200 million? 

Damn, ya got me there Googles

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a good idea for humans with regards to evolution, the distended anus.

So I drew detailed pictures of how the distention works, and how it would reduce the amount of splash back from toilets with large water to rim ratios.

I don't think jenene from help desk was that bothered, but I'm slapping a patent on it as soon as I get home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For some reason, a decade or so ago I began standing to wipe. I have no idea how or why this started, because I definitely was a sitting wiper as a child. It's too long ago to remember the pros and cons at the time that led me to change.

After a recent discussion at work about this, the vast majority seemed to be in the sitting camp, and considered standing really weird. I thought i'd try sitting again based on that feedback, and it's a revelation. Way less toilet paper required overall, and seemingly less chance of paper rolling off and getting stuck in my arse hair.

Anyway, despite reverting to the old method, 10+ years of post-shit muscle memory will still get me to stand once i've finished snapping one off most of the time. I'm getting there but it's a process.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not Jack Reacher but I have read all of the James Patterson Alex Cross series. **** they are badly ghost written but I love that stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I realised I had another one of these the other day. Sliced bread when making sandwiches, the two pieces of bread must match shape so there is no overlap, so the bread gets taken out then the two slices that are going together have to be separated as if opening a book

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

I had a good idea for humans with regards to evolution, the distended anus.

So I drew detailed pictures of how the distention works, and how it would reduce the amount of splash back from toilets with large water to rim ratios.

I don't think jenene from help desk was that bothered, but I'm slapping a patent on it as soon as I get home.

I'm picturing that as working like a xenomorph's extended jaw

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, Wainy316 said:

I'm picturing that as working like a xenomorph's extended jaw

Yea kinda.

The closest example I have is this beautiful moment from walking with dinosaurs;

That, and my anus would have more teeth.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

That, and my anus would have more teeth.

Open goal...😄

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/12/2019 at 12:58, bannedfromHandV said:

I pee in the shower every single time I have a shower irrespective of whether I need a wee or not.

 

I recently told my girlfriend and she thinks it's disgusting but I kinda thought most people did it.

Even if I don't need a piss I end up pissing in the shower

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I often shout random stuff if I'm on my own. Like in the car or in the flat on my own. I'll just bellow out some nonsense "SCOOBEDY BEE BOP DABA KOOTYAH!". But I mean shout it, especially in the car, like top of my voice red faced shout. I often wonder if I have some mild tourettes because I don't really do it intentionally, but I seem to be able to restrain myself if I'm in public or with anyone.

 

I'm too shy to ask people to move out of the way at shops. I just pretend that I'm interested in a different product on the shelf that's near the person who is in my way and wait for them to move.

 

I often have urges to do something that would hurt me a lot or kill me. Just little flashes. Like if I'm holding a knife I'll have this little tiny urge to shove it into my eyeball or something. Or drive my car into a truck. That's pretty weird. 

 

Sometimes I think about something I've done, and wonder if I'm the only person in the world to have ever done that. But it'll be really normal stuff like, spreading flora onto a piece of bread instead of butter. And obviously I'm not the only person to have ever done that, but it's like a bit of my brain decides I am and I have to convince it that that's obviously not true.

 

If I think to myself something like "did I lock the door?" then I HAVE to go and check. Even if I can specifically remember locking the door, I have to get out of bed and check. It's actually quite annoying.

 

Sometimes I feel so tired I can't be bothered to go to bed. So I just carry on doing whatever I'm doing getting more and more tired, in the knowledge that it'll mean I get less sleep and be even more tired in the morning.

Edited by Stevo985
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I eat all pudding, no matter how big or small with a tea spoon, I always eat cereal with a soup spoon. We have one soup spoon in the house, specifically for this purpose.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Seat68 said:

I eat all pudding, no matter how big or small with a tea spoon, I always eat cereal with a soup spoon. We have one soup spoon in the house, specifically for this purpose.

It's not a soup spoon, but I also have one spoon that I eat cereal with. I call it my favourite spoon. Even if it's dirty I'll wash it up especially to eat my cereal with. If my gf uses it then I get annoyed with her in a jokey way. But really I'm not joking, it does actually annoy me. Even though it's her spoon. She bought it.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...
Â