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On 16/10/2022 at 09:38, Rugeley Villa said:

Got my first AA coin Friday night  at one of my meetings I attend for being a month sober/clean . Been attending for about a month now and finding it’s helping me. I’ve not done any sharing yet where you talk out to the group , but talking to people and being around people is a positive experience. I’ve done a handful of meetings before which was NA(Narcotics Anonymous) but for whatever reason I just couldn’t get into it and didn’t want to be there. The good thing is I want to be at the meetings now and mostly enjoy them and the calming feeling it gives you. Some very inspirational people there. I don’t crave cocaine like I used to, but only when I drink so I figured the root of the problem is myself and alcohol. I’m a terrible drunk as well , not pleasant to be around. Black outs have been a regular thing now and it doesn’t take me all that much to have the black outs which is quite frightening.

Its been a bad year for me and my wife and what I’ve put her , the kids , other people and myself through . I missed out on a big family holiday the other week because of my drinking etc and decided enough is enough. Trying to fit the meetings in is difficult at times because of work and family life , but I try and get myself to 3 a week . Two of those are in Rugeley. Quite nervous first time going to the ones in Rugeley seeing people there I kind of knew but we are all there for same reason . If I decided to carry on drinking I’d lose it all and probably end up dead at some point. Not so much from the booze but I really struggle with my mental health when I’m in a dark place with the booze and falling out with wife. I’ve also been going to the gym for the last two months which is great. Feel like I’m finally taking some proper steps in order to change . I hate myself at times and want to be a better person for my loved ones and myself. People shouldn’t have to put up with my vile behaviour when I’m drunk also. 
 

Anyway to anyone struggling help is out there 

God Bless 

Read this last night but wanted to write a proper reply.

Really happy to hear you’ve found a support group that you like, and a few healthy coping mechanisms that are working for you.

I agree that for a lot of people there’s a dividing line between “alcoholism” and “I’m not an alcoholic, but alcohol is the cause of everything stupid I do”. I’m more in the second camp, and I think you are too. But that’s still a good reason to get the drinking under control.

All the best with everything. I know you’ve had some dark times, but it can always be fixed. People climb back from some terrible situations, and it’s worth it!

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On 16/10/2022 at 03:38, Rugeley Villa said:

Got my first AA coin Friday night  at one of my meetings I attend for being a month sober/clean . Been attending for about a month now and finding it’s helping me. I’ve not done any sharing yet where you talk out to the group , but talking to people and being around people is a positive experience. I’ve done a handful of meetings before which was NA(Narcotics Anonymous) but for whatever reason I just couldn’t get into it and didn’t want to be there. The good thing is I want to be at the meetings now and mostly enjoy them and the calming feeling it gives you. Some very inspirational people there. I don’t crave cocaine like I used to, but only when I drink so I figured the root of the problem is myself and alcohol. I’m a terrible drunk as well , not pleasant to be around. Black outs have been a regular thing now and it doesn’t take me all that much to have the black outs which is quite frightening.

Its been a bad year for me and my wife and what I’ve put her , the kids , other people and myself through . I missed out on a big family holiday the other week because of my drinking etc and decided enough is enough. Trying to fit the meetings in is difficult at times because of work and family life , but I try and get myself to 3 a week . Two of those are in Rugeley. Quite nervous first time going to the ones in Rugeley seeing people there I kind of knew but we are all there for same reason . If I decided to carry on drinking I’d lose it all and probably end up dead at some point. Not so much from the booze but I really struggle with my mental health when I’m in a dark place with the booze and falling out with wife. I’ve also been going to the gym for the last two months which is great. Feel like I’m finally taking some proper steps in order to change . I hate myself at times and want to be a better person for my loved ones and myself. People shouldn’t have to put up with my vile behaviour when I’m drunk also. 
 

Anyway to anyone struggling help is out there 

God Bless 

Hell yeah, I’m happy to hear that you’re a month sober!

I went through a 6 month stretch when I decided I needed to be sober, and AA helped me a lot. Glad you’re enjoying it, and keep up the good fight!

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On 23/10/2022 at 05:56, TheAuthority said:

By the way @El Zen & I think a few others were talking about quitting smoking earlier in the thread.

I used to be a smoker - and I mean I was a SMOKER. I got nervous if I didn't have 2 full packs with me in addition to the one I was smoking.

I used the Allen Carr Easyway to stop smoking and it was EASY. You can go to clinics, read the books or do the online course at home. I highly recommend it and know lots and lots of smokers it has helped.

I also used Allen Carr’s Easyway, it’s the best book I’ve ever bought. I was even able to use the same thinking patterns to quit alcohol, it’s really powerful stuff.
 

To anyone that’s going through battles with addiction, stick with it because life is so much better when you finally win. I say that as someone who has been addicted to cannabis, coke, crack, alcohol and nicotine. The last thing left is sugar now, it’s surprisingly addictive but luckily not quite as destructive as the above. 

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On 16/10/2022 at 09:38, Rugeley Villa said:

Got my first AA coin Friday night  at one of my meetings I attend for being a month sober/clean . Been attending for about a month now and finding it’s helping me. I’ve not done any sharing yet where you talk out to the group , but talking to people and being around people is a positive experience. I’ve done a handful of meetings before which was NA(Narcotics Anonymous) but for whatever reason I just couldn’t get into it and didn’t want to be there. The good thing is I want to be at the meetings now and mostly enjoy them and the calming feeling it gives you. Some very inspirational people there. I don’t crave cocaine like I used to, but only when I drink so I figured the root of the problem is myself and alcohol. I’m a terrible drunk as well , not pleasant to be around. Black outs have been a regular thing now and it doesn’t take me all that much to have the black outs which is quite frightening.

Its been a bad year for me and my wife and what I’ve put her , the kids , other people and myself through . I missed out on a big family holiday the other week because of my drinking etc and decided enough is enough. Trying to fit the meetings in is difficult at times because of work and family life , but I try and get myself to 3 a week . Two of those are in Rugeley. Quite nervous first time going to the ones in Rugeley seeing people there I kind of knew but we are all there for same reason . If I decided to carry on drinking I’d lose it all and probably end up dead at some point. Not so much from the booze but I really struggle with my mental health when I’m in a dark place with the booze and falling out with wife. I’ve also been going to the gym for the last two months which is great. Feel like I’m finally taking some proper steps in order to change . I hate myself at times and want to be a better person for my loved ones and myself. People shouldn’t have to put up with my vile behaviour when I’m drunk also. 
 

Anyway to anyone struggling help is out there 

God Bless 

I haven’t got any reactions left but just wanted to say well done @Rugeley Villa. Keep at it mate, it will be worth it. 

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10 hours ago, El Zen said:

Quite possible, but to be clear, I’ve never smoked a ciggy in my life. It’s all about Scandinavian snus for me. 

Quitting again isn’t really on the agenda right now. I’ve hit a bit of a wall mentally too, and feel way worse about pretty much everything than I did a month ago, and I have too much on my plate to deal with the physical pain of quitting nicotine right now. 

Fair enough mate and hope you feel better soon. Life can be a mess as we all know. No shame in not feeling great about things and hope you get through it.

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  • 4 months later...

I woke up today and realized that I need to quit drinking again.

Back in 2021 I quit for about 6 months, but eventually started again, foolishly thinking something had changed and I could handle it.

I’m now realizing that I can’t. My cravings are back, but more frightening is the anxiety cycles (drink, get anxious, drink more to curb the anxiety, get more anxious). That was really hard to stop last time around, and although I’m not in as dark of a place as I was 18 months ago, I’m aware where this road leads and I don’t want to go there again.

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11 minutes ago, MNVillan said:

I woke up today and realized that I need to quit drinking again.

Back in 2021 I quit for about 6 months, but eventually started again, foolishly thinking something had changed and I could handle it.

I’m now realizing that I can’t. My cravings are back, but more frightening is the anxiety cycles (drink, get anxious, drink more to curb the anxiety, get more anxious). That was really hard to stop last time around, and although I’m not in as dark of a place as I was 18 months ago, I’m aware where this road leads and I don’t want to go there again.

Best of luck Gopher!  👍

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24 minutes ago, MNVillan said:

I woke up today and realized that I need to quit drinking again.

Back in 2021 I quit for about 6 months, but eventually started again, foolishly thinking something had changed and I could handle it.

I’m now realizing that I can’t. My cravings are back, but more frightening is the anxiety cycles (drink, get anxious, drink more to curb the anxiety, get more anxious). That was really hard to stop last time around, and although I’m not in as dark of a place as I was 18 months ago, I’m aware where this road leads and I don’t want to go there again.

The very best of luck 🤞 

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26 months off the booze. I drink a really good non alcoholic beer that tastes like the real thing. Trace amount of alcohol in it, so technically I guess I still consume alcohol. Some ex-drinkers don't touch the stuff because of the trace amount. 

I'm great as long as I stay away from drinking situations. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if there was a big Villa meetup in NYC or if I went to VP...something major like that would make it really hard not to guzzle beers. 

But for now I'm good.

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2 hours ago, MNVillan said:

I woke up today and realized that I need to quit drinking again.

Back in 2021 I quit for about 6 months, but eventually started again, foolishly thinking something had changed and I could handle it.

I’m now realizing that I can’t. My cravings are back, but more frightening is the anxiety cycles (drink, get anxious, drink more to curb the anxiety, get more anxious). That was really hard to stop last time around, and although I’m not in as dark of a place as I was 18 months ago, I’m aware where this road leads and I don’t want to go there again.

You can do it. I'm 51, and I only really started drinking in my mid 20's. Since then I've not drank for 7.5 of those years. The way I view it is that it's just something to be mindful of. If I drink again I won't beat myself up over it. But I'll just keep an eye on how I drink and if it seems too much, I'll try to stop again. I view it like I've given my body a break for 7.5 years of my drinking life, and that's decent.

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  • 4 weeks later...

 

On 28/02/2023 at 19:17, maqroll said:

26 months off the booze. I drink a really good non alcoholic beer that tastes like the real thing.

26 months to me is amazing, really impreressive, I wish I had your level of will power. The most I've ever managed off the sauce, since I started drinking at 16, is one year. It was the whole of 2018, a year that seemed to last forever! :s 😅 At midnight on NYE I was really proud of myself because it was very hard for me to achieve that but I managed it somehow. Unfortunately though since then I've let down my guard and quite often had a significant drink problem again.

However, if Adrian Chiles wasn't an alcoholic then I'm certainly not one! He sometimes drank 80-100 units a week. Most weeks I don't have more than a third of 80 units. (And I'm pretty sure I've never had as much as 60 in a week. I must have drunk about 50 in a week when I was younger probably around ten times, for example a week when there was a wedding or a stag do). But the problem is I totally disagree with him when he says he wasn't an alcoholic because that amount of alcohol is just huge. I think he's kidding himself if he genuinely believes that he wasn't an alcoholic.

Perhaps his liver is a lot better now but he was very lucky as some people's livers just aren't anywhere near as strong as his. He's apparently in recovery. He's somehow still alive! So, apart from my osteoporosis, which was almost certainly caused partly by excessive alcohol from 16 into my 30s, I'm hoping that my heatlh can be relatively ok or at least not too poor for quite a lot of years to come.🤞

Hoping that my bone density won't get worse for the next ten years or so, with the help of a medication I started last year plus continuing with a wide variety of vegetables (especially leafy dark greens), fruit, nuts, seeds, beans, pulses, calcium supplement... And I hope that the rest of my health can still be ok or good. But if this is possible then I think it's only possible if I only drink genuinely in moderation from now on (i.e. respecting the 14 units a week and 4 units a day guideline. Well I certainly mustn't exceed 5 in a day anymore). So I have to be mentally stronger going forward, to have more will power and determination.

Edited by robby b
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2 hours ago, robby b said:

 

26 months to me is amazing, really impreressive, I wish I had your level of will power. The most I've ever managed off the sauce, since I started drinking at 16, is one year. It was the whole of 2018, a year that seemed to last forever! :s 😅 At midnight on NYE I was really proud of myself because it was very hard for me to achieve that but I managed it somehow. Unfortunately though since then I've let down my guard and quite often had a significant drink problem again.

However, if Adrian Chiles wasn't an alcoholic then I'm certainly not one! He sometimes drank 80-100 units a week. Most weeks I don't have more than a third of 80 units. (And I'm pretty sure I've never had as much as 60 in a week. I must have drunk about 50 in a week when I was younger probably around ten times, for example a week when there was a wedding or a stag do). But the problem is I totally disagree with him when he says he wasn't an alcoholic because that amount of alcohol is just huge. I think he's kidding himself if he genuinely believes that he wasn't an alcoholic.

Perhaps his liver is a lot better now but he was very lucky as some people's livers just aren't anywhere near as strong as his. He's apparently in recovery. He's somehow still alive! So, apart from my osteoporosis, which was almost certainly caused partly by excessive alcohol from 16 into my 30s, I'm hoping that my heatlh can be relatively ok or at least not too poor for quite a lot of years to come.🤞

Hoping that my bone density won't get worse for the next ten years or so, with the help of a medication I started last year plus continuing with a wide variety of vegetables (especially leafy dark greens), fruit, nuts, seeds, beans, pulses, calcium supplement... And I hope that the rest of my health can still be ok or good. But if this is possible then I think it's only possible if I only drink genuinely in moderation from now on (i.e. respecting the 14 units a week and 4 units a day guideline. Well I certainly mustn't exceed 5 in a day anymore). So I have to be mentally stronger going forward, to have more will power and determination.

Good luck fella, I am pathetic hiding a liver issue from my love ones but I have i think got better. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fancy a pint? 

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I hope you have got better now Follyfoot.🤞And thank you for your good luck wishes. And yes I do fancy a pint (as usual). "Anyone fancy a pint?" Fast Show. 😅

Edited by robby b
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  • 1 month later...

Positive stuff, @Rugeley Villa!!! 

Addiction is a funny old thing. Sometimes when you are deep into whatever you're into, it can seem totally insurmountable. Like you're in a massive hedge maze. But then when you're out, it seems so easy. I know anyone can fall back into old habits, but enjoy your victories when you earn them, and cherish the clarity.

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2 minutes ago, maqroll said:

Positive stuff, @Rugeley Villa!!! 

Addiction is a funny old thing. Sometimes when you are deep into whatever you're into, it can seem totally insurmountable. Like you're in a massive hedge maze. But then when you're out, it seems so easy. I know anyone can fall back into old habits, but enjoy your victories when you earn them, and cherish the clarity.

Yes, I’m enjoying being sober this weekend. It’s not like that all the time but got to keep trying and sticking at it. Sober life is much better you just forget it sometimes. I’ve became that family member now where you do not give a drink to or invite to parties etc. I’m a really shit drunk so not missing out on much . Hope everyone on here is doing as well as they can be . Life isn’t easy at times . 

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7 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Yes, I’m enjoying being sober this weekend. It’s not like that all the time but got to keep trying and sticking at it. Sober life is much better you just forget it sometimes. I’ve became that family member now where you do not give a drink to or invite to parties etc. I’m a really shit drunk so not missing out on much . Hope everyone on here is doing as well as they can be . Life isn’t easy at times . 

Honestly, life is a **** horror show these days! Sometimes I just want to get obliterated. maybe if i ever hit age 75 ill just go for it lolol

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