maqroll Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 (edited) Funny things, farts. They are unique and varied. Some are sweet, some are loud, some are soft, some are destructive. They bring us laughter and relief but also great shame and embarrassment. Sometimes I wonder if the totality of human flatulence is affecting the ozone layer. You could hear my grandfather coming from rooms away because he'd fart while walking. Each step would trigger an additional release, propelling him onward. Because he was virtually deaf at the time, I doubt he heard the commotion. Lately I've had bazooka farts. A sudden surge of gas bottled up by my sphincter and then just as quickly booming outward with a satisfying baritone. Edited November 26, 2018 by maqroll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 My pumps were making my wife gag yesterday. I’d eaten a burger from a burger van at the Villa which didn’t agree with me. I know it was the burger because they stank how it tasted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 26, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 26, 2018 I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Neither of us have ever openly farted in front of the other one. Is that weird? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 I hate wet farts 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 Since I've started eating tinned fruit a lot my farts have become far worse. I was always more of a belcher than a farter but now it's the reverse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted November 26, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 26, 2018 Farts in the shower are always more intense than anywhere else. I know it's a confined space, but I often wonder if the steam activates some hidden ingredients or something. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Stevo985 said: I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Neither of us have ever openly farted in front of the other one. Is that weird? God yes. You're missing out on some top-quality bonding opportunities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Stevo985 said: I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Neither of us have ever openly farted in front of the other one. Is that weird? You’ll only find out if she is a keeper or not if you Dutch oven her 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post El Zen Posted November 26, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Neither of us have ever openly farted in front of the other one. Is that weird? Yes! One of the weirdest things I’ve ever read on here, and I’ve been here through Strong City and the guy who used to **** his aunt. 3 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 27, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2018 It's gross. Why would I do that in front of my other half? it's happened unintentionally. When one of us is asleep. But never on purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 Isn't weird how if you fart in bed you have an urge to dutch oven yourself? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 13 hours ago, NurembergVillan said: Farts in the shower are always more intense than anywhere else. I know it's a confined space, but I often wonder if the steam activates some hidden ingredients or something. I actually wondered this once, and it became a discussion in the smoking area at work. The verdict was apparently the fart particles ( farticles) attach themselves to the steam, making them more receptive to the olfactory senses. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Stevo985 said: It's gross. Why would I do that in front of my other half? it's happened unintentionally. When one of us is asleep. But never on purpose. But it’s not really gross. We all have to fart. And they’re fun. Win-win. I made sure I farted loud and clear very early in our relationship. If the now wife-person couldn’t live with that, she wasn’t the one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakotaDakota Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 4 hours ago, Stevo985 said: It's gross. Why would I do that in front of my other half? it's happened unintentionally. When one of us is asleep. But never on purpose. Do you burp? Pretty much the same thing but out the other end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 27, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2018 1 hour ago, AJ said: I actually wondered this once, and it became a discussion in the smoking area at work. The verdict was apparently the fart particles ( farticles) attach themselves to the steam, making them more receptive to the olfactory senses. My theory was that the steam takes up a percentage of the available space, concentrating the air and forcing the fart into a smaller more concentrated burst of freshness for the senses. Either way, shower farts are the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 27, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2018 8 minutes ago, LakotaDakota said: Do you burp? Pretty much the same thing but out the other end. Burps don't smell like shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 Just now, Stevo985 said: Burps don't smell like shit. They do if you eat shit 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakotaDakota Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 The worst thing is if you sneeze & fart at the same time. Always seems to sting a bit and requires a quick shart check afterwards 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 27, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2018 11 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: Burps don't smell like shit. Vegetarians are renowned for their aromatic flatulence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 27, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2018 9 minutes ago, bickster said: Vegetarians are renowned for their aromatic flatulence. Bet yours smell of turkey twizzlers and crisp sandwiches Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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