The Worst Christmas Film Ever

[R.I.C.O.]

Okay, heres a little seasonal one for you.

Christmas is a shoe-in for film themes. The commercial nature of chrimbo means that there is money in them thar hills for major Hollywood studios to produce banal and often real stinkers of Christmas films. These have ranged though the ages from the 1980s to today. All of them aim to be funny but unless you seriously love slapstick, and laugh like a drain at someone falling over, they fall flat on their faces on most comedy levels. Especially the recent offerings.

My selection of stinkers is:

Santa Claus The Movie (1985)

Featuring the one and only Dudley Moore. Yes, that's right, Dudley Moore. The same Dudley Moore who had a soul when he worked with Peter Cook.

Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)

An unfunny stinker of a film, has really dated terribly.

The Santa Clause (1994) and its evil sequels (2002, 2006)

Anything that has starred Tim Allen needs to be burned.

Jingle All The Way (1996)

Arnie puts on his wooden acting and comedy face for this family-themed nightmare.

Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

Awful, moronic abortion of a film starring Jamie Lee Curtis.

Fred Claus (2007)

This year's stinker.

I have added another option for any film I've forgotten. So then, what's the true Christmas stinker, a film on at christmas you have to watch for its crapness or avoid like the plague?

Mine is Christmas with The Kranks, I was forced to go and see it, OK!!!! Its one of the only films I've ever paid to see where I felt uncomfortable being in the cinema from the start of the film. And I've seen Batman and Robin. It was'nt even funny in a crappy/camp sort of way.

[The_Rev]

I was 6 when Santa Claus the movie came out, and remember going to see it at the cinema at the time. I **** loved it which probably goes to show that it was a kids film, no more, no less!

[R.I.C.O.]

I was 6 when Santa Claus the movie came out, and remember going to see it at the cinema at the time. I **** loved it which probably goes to show that it was a kids film, no more, no less!

Yeah, me too - we had it on VHS from taping it off the TV when it came on. But I was more after the Dudley Moore angle - what was he thinking ($?) ???

Muppets Christmas Carol - Now THAT was a **** ace Christmas movie. Michael Caine talking to puppets - imagine the possibilities!!!!

[tonyh29]

it's a wonderful Life

I really like James Stuart but Wonderful life doesn't do it for me ..quite dark for it's time ,though of course all comes good at the end ...as the film is 50 years old I doubt i'm spoiling the ending for anyone :-)

or Home Alone .. dreadful film

Best Xmas film by a million miles is Scrooged with Bill Murray .. love it when he wants to staple the antlers on the mice :-)

Props man: I can't get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don't work.

Frank Cross: Did you try staples?

Lew Hayward: I was a captain of industry, feared by men, adored by women.

Frank Cross: ADORED? C'mon, let's be honest, Lew. You PAID for the women.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Frank Cross: I want to see her nipples.

Censor Lady: But this is a CHRISTMAS show.

Frank Cross: Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.

James Cross: You know what they say about people who treat other people bad on the way up?

Frank Cross: Yeah, you get to treat 'em bad on the way back down too. It's great, you get two chances to rough 'em up.

class film .. Bill Murray is great

[Richard]

Scrooged

[itdoesntmatterwhatthissay]

Fred Claus

Also, Erenst is legendary, just like MVP.

[rjw63]

I actually like the first Tim Allen one.

"Elf" is crap though

[leviramsey]

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

This is truly the worst movie I have ever seen, but it really goes beyond that. Something this stunningly terrible simply had to be done on purpose. Every joke, every "special effect" every background, every costume is done without any kind of thought as to not looking like it was done in under fifty seconds. This film brings artistry to sub-mediocrity. Something so basely horrible defies the physics of cinematography. I could not make a worse movie if I spent absolutely no time at all making it. Someone really, really tried to make this piece of gold stink like a thousand dead scatologists. If you have a dollar on you the next time you pass by your local dollar store, do yourself a favor and revel in the worst thing you can imagine.

IMDB reviews

[R.I.C.O.]

Was'nt that released in the 1960's? Surely there had to be some "Red Menace" style paranoia in there. Kind of reminds me of the premise behind Rocky IV.

[leviramsey]

Yeah, it was released in '64.

To try to read geopolitics into it is to give it to much credit...

[R.I.C.O.]

I was going to include it but it would have been far too easy. It's something that sounds so shit it could actually be funny, or watchable.

[Ponky]

Americans make such sappy sheite when it comes to Christmas. Some of it is very puke-worthy.

[BOF]

I think all films with Santa in them are sh1te (with the notable exception of Bad Santa ).

[stevenjos]

id vote for the santa clause.

Scrooged is the best of the movies. pure classic.