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Your Apocalypse Strategy


maqroll

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Either through war, disease, climate change, lack of water and arable land, overpopulation, Villa win a match, you name it...what would be your strategy to survive and even prosper if you had six months to prepare?

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I'd start off nice enough. I'd model myself on Oddball.

Kellys+Heroes.jpg

if the petrol ran out before me and my little tank resolved the situation, then I'd have to go a bit more Ronin (you may be aware of this character Maq!!)

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after that, I guess end of days stuff you revert to your inner Heston

cropped-Planet-of-The-Apes-Charlton-Hest

but in all honesty, I've not planned it out that much, I just don't think we're going to win a game

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In the event of war, I'll build a den under the stairs

in the event of zombie apocalypse, I'll live upstairs and barricade the hall

lack of water and failed crops I simply don't see as an issue, we have a Sainsbury at the end of the road

 

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15 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

I'll aim to be taken out in the first wave of the apocalypse 

Yep, I don't like being uncomfortable. Eating snails and drinking pond-water is not my lifestyle.

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North Yorkshire is where I'm heading. Tan Hill has always been my zombie apocalypse place of choice, so I imagine it'll be fine for any other kind of apocalypse too. Lots of green fields growing crops, lots of sheep for food and wool, and the highest pub in the UK, where I can make base.

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6 minutes ago, dAVe80 said:

North Yorkshire is where I'm heading. Tan Hill has always been my zombie apocalypse place of choice, so I imagine it'll be fine for any other kind of apocalypse too. Lots of green fields growing crops, lots of sheep for food and wool, and the highest pub in the UK, where I can make base.

Sorry pal, you're barred. 

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32 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

Twitter always has all the answers so it depends if I'd be able to get access to it ... if not then as per the other thread , I'll aim to be taken out in the first wave of the apocalypse 

Not me. Although I understand the reasoning. I would see it as more of a challenge. How long I can survive.

I would welcome a zombie apocolypse  tomorrow. My life is quite empty at the minute

. My survival strategy at heart is solice. It's not the disease you have to be mindful of, it is your fellow man. Be it through their stupidness or evilness, they **** everything up

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13 minutes ago, dAVe80 said:

North Yorkshire is where I'm heading. Tan Hill has always been my zombie apocalypse place of choice, so I imagine it'll be fine for any other kind of apocalypse too. Lots of green fields growing crops, lots of sheep for food and wool, and the highest pub in the UK, where I can make base.

From the look of Yorkshire I'd say the apocalypse has  already started there 

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9 minutes ago, rodders0223 said:

Not me. Although I understand the reasoning. I would see it as more of a challenge. How long I can survive.

 

Your talking to the man whose solution to putting a doorbell chime back up and lacking the skills to use a drill , opted for Blu tack

though to be fair it was still on the wall when I sold the house a few years later 

 

maybe ill I'll revise my answer , give me a boot full of blu tack and bring it on zombies 

Edited by tonyh29
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8 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

Your talking to the man whose solution to putting a doorbell chime back up and lacking the skills to use a drill , opted for Blu tack

though to be fair it was still on the wall when I sold the house a few years later 

I thought that was just me!

My current doorbell is secured with blu tac. It's been there for months, I actually press my own doorbell on the way in to the house now, I'm so impressed with it. 

28 minutes ago, dAVe80 said:

North Yorkshire is where I'm heading. Tan Hill has always been my zombie apocalypse place of choice, so I imagine it'll be fine for any other kind of apocalypse too. Lots of green fields growing crops, lots of sheep for food and wool, and the highest pub in the UK, where I can make base.

 

21 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Sorry pal, you're barred. 

Just the three of us holed up in a pub, you, me and Mooney. Nothing to sustain us but pork scratchings and a large box of reggae records. The ultimate lock in.

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1 hour ago, tonyh29 said:

From the look of Yorkshire I'd say the apocalypse has  already started there 

North Yorkshire is achingly beautiful... Oh actually, you know what, we don't want any Southerners spoiling our Northern Utopia. Yeah, it's horrible. You'd hate it. Warm beer, and gravy on everything.  

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6 hours ago, maqroll said:

Either through war, disease, climate change, lack of water and arable land, overpopulation, Villa win a match, you name it...what would be your strategy to survive and even prosper if you had six months to prepare?

I've always followed the advice of the Government, from the 1980s.  I've painted all my windows white, and I crouch beneath the kitchen table with a colander on my head.

It's never failed yet.

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4 hours ago, tonyh29 said:

Your talking to the man whose solution to putting a doorbell chime back up and lacking the skills to use a drill , opted for Blu tack

though to be fair it was still on the wall when I sold the house a few years later 

my wired doorbell stopped working, so i just cut the wires and bought a wireless doorbell instead.   It came with a sticky velcro pad that stuck the doorbell to the doorframe.  job done.

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20 minutes ago, blandy said:

Don't you feel the strain?

 

and how do you hear the doorbell from there?

Yes, but I sift my position from time to time.

Doorbell's no problem, I had the chime blutacked to the colander.  Professional job.  Tony sorted me out.

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