Villa Park redevelopment

[lapal_fan]

On 30/06/2019 at 12:47, dont_do_it_doug. said:

I love Aston. 

I mean sure, like every poor area it has it's issues with crime, but I never ever feel unsafe walking around there on a match day. Terraced housing, narrow pavements, the odd sofa on the street whilst Black Sabbath blasts out through an open window. Kids playing football over the rec, jumpers for goalposts. It's got a proper working class community vibe, I wouldn't want to move from there for all the world.   

[lapal_fan]

It's easy. 

Job 1 - complusory buy all properties behind the Doug Ellis stand, flatten them.  If the buggers won't leave, just destroy their homes with them in them and tell the police you saw a big van heading north.

Job 2 - make the ground WAY bigger.  If it doesn't hold 500,000 people, no one will come.  60k stadiums are BORING. 

Make 1 side of the stadium corporate only.  So corporate, you could smell the prawns in Wednesbury, and you can hear shady business deals being done from Worcester. 

Job 3 - Make the stadium really tall and in the space above the supporters heads, put smart glass  so they can either watch Chris Kamara on a huge screen or, if the football is boring or we lose, they just put episodes of The Simpsons on for a laugh.  

Job 4 - On top of the stadium, build a series of high powered cannons.  If you come from over 30 miles away, Villa can send you back home quickly and safetly because part of the package (£100 per pop) you get a parachute, but we can fire you back home. 

Job 5 - build a massive bronze statue of William McGregor, holding hands with Gabby Agbonlahor, like this Walt Disney/Mickey Mouse one;

 

Job 6 - make sure there is a pie-per-person available and quick access to the bar by everyone having a cup on their arm rests which automatically fills up once it's empty via a pipe under the arm rest. 

Job 7 - Everyone has a button on their seats which can do the following;

 - Electrocute the person in front of your seats if they stand persistently 

- Audibly yell "sit down dickhead!" at the people standing in front of you

- Has a button to staff so they can bring pillows or mints to you, or maybe even chips and curry sauce

Job 8 - when the game ends, everyone is catapulted our of their seats, onto the pitch, which will open up and have loads of slides which will transport you to your car, which is in it's own spot.  In the car, rather than queuing, Villa Park will pick itself up and carry your car to somewhere less busy. 

Maybe the statue of McGregor and Gabby could do that? 

[dubbs]

Sometimes got way too much time on their hands 

[DaveAV1]

Putting Gabby with William McGregor on a statue is just crazy and completely unfeasible. The rest all seems quite reasonable though. 

[AvfcRigo82]

28 minutes ago, dubbs said:

Sometimes got way too much time on their hands 

I dunno, il have some of what he's had this morning.

Some great ideas in there but he lost me at the statue.

 

Edited July 22, 2019 by AvfcRigo82

[sidcow]

37 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

It's easy. 

Job 1 - complusory buy all properties behind the Doug Ellis stand, flatten them.  If the buggers won't leave, just destroy their homes with them in them and tell the police you saw a big van heading north.

Job 2 - make the ground WAY bigger.  If it doesn't hold 500,000 people, no one will come.  60k stadiums are BORING. 

Make 1 side of the stadium corporate only.  So corporate, you could smell the prawns in Wednesbury, and you can hear shady business deals being done from Worcester. 

Job 3 - Make the stadium really tall and in the space above the supporters heads, put smart glass  so they can either watch Chris Kamara on a huge screen or, if the football is boring or we lose, they just put episodes of The Simpsons on for a laugh.  

Job 4 - On top of the stadium, build a series of high powered cannons.  If you come from over 30 miles away, Villa can send you back home quickly and safetly because part of the package (£100 per pop) you get a parachute, but we can fire you back home. 

Job 5 - build a massive bronze statue of William McGregor, holding hands with Gabby Agbonlahor, like this Walt Disney/Mickey Mouse one;

 

Job 6 - make sure there is a pie-per-person available and quick access to the bar by everyone having a cup on their arm rests which automatically fills up once it's empty via a pipe under the arm rest. 

Job 7 - Everyone has a button on their seats which can do the following;

 - Electrocute the person in front of your seats if they stand persistently 

- Audibly yell "sit down dickhead!" at the people standing in front of you

- Has a button to staff so they can bring pillows or mints to you, or maybe even chips and curry sauce

Job 8 - when the game ends, everyone is catapulted our of their seats, onto the pitch, which will open up and have loads of slides which will transport you to your car, which is in it's own spot.  In the car, rather than queuing, Villa Park will pick itself up and carry your car to somewhere less busy. 

Maybe the statue of McGregor and Gabby could do that? 

I want this so bad it hurts

[lapal_fan]

9 minutes ago, sidcow said:

I want this so bad it hurts

See? Just takes a bit of thought, doesn't it? 

And I didn't even get into the staff who are made of pizza, in case you're hungry when speaking to them or the urinals are shaped like Robbie Savage, who mutters stuff like "OH GOD PLEASE STOP!" when you're pissing in his mouth. 

[rodders0223]

2 hours ago, lapal_fan said:

It's easy. 

Job 1 - complusory buy all properties behind the Doug Ellis stand, flatten them.  If the buggers won't leave, just destroy their homes with them in them and tell the police you saw a big van heading north.

Job 2 - make the ground WAY bigger.  If it doesn't hold 500,000 people, no one will come.  60k stadiums are BORING. 

Make 1 side of the stadium corporate only.  So corporate, you could smell the prawns in Wednesbury, and you can hear shady business deals being done from Worcester. 

Job 3 - Make the stadium really tall and in the space above the supporters heads, put smart glass  so they can either watch Chris Kamara on a huge screen or, if the football is boring or we lose, they just put episodes of The Simpsons on for a laugh.  

Job 4 - On top of the stadium, build a series of high powered cannons.  If you come from over 30 miles away, Villa can send you back home quickly and safetly because part of the package (£100 per pop) you get a parachute, but we can fire you back home. 

Job 5 - build a massive bronze statue of William McGregor, holding hands with Gabby Agbonlahor, like this Walt Disney/Mickey Mouse one;

 

 

Job 6 - make sure there is a pie-per-person available and quick access to the bar by everyone having a cup on their arm rests which automatically fills up once it's empty via a pipe under the arm rest.  

Job 7 - Everyone has a button on their seats which can do the following;

 - Electrocute the person in front of your seats if they stand persistently 

- Audibly yell "sit down dickhead!" at the people standing in front of you

- Has a button to staff so they can bring pillows or mints to you, or maybe even chips and curry sauce

Job 8 - when the game ends, everyone is catapulted our of their seats, onto the pitch, which will open up and have loads of slides which will transport you to your car, which is in it's own spot.  In the car, rather than queuing, Villa Park will pick itself up and carry your car to somewhere less busy. 

Maybe the statue of McGregor and Gabby could do that? 

Completely unrealistic.

[Rugeley Villa]

18 hours ago, dont_do_it_doug. said:

I dunno, I do it all the time. I don't have an issue with it. It's an industrial, working class community. Not sure why that needs changing?

Exactly this. Working class areas are raw beauty .

[DaveAV1]

19 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Exactly this. Working class areas are raw beauty .

From a safe distance. 

[Kingman]

IMO we seriously need to reconfigure the away end allocation we give to ratio in line with other grounds comparison Manure 76k, Spuds 62k, Arse 60k, Wet Spam 57k, Citeh 55k, Scallys 54k, Geordies 52k all give circa 3k or less so why should we with only 42k. 

For me they just get the upper witton Not both! For the sake of knocking a few doors through and tweaking the segregation the proffits and efficiencies would be beneficial over the season. 

[AvfcRigo82]

12 minutes ago, Kingman said:

IMO we seriously need to reconfigure the away end allocation we give to ratio in line with other grounds comparison Manure 76k, Spuds 62k, Arse 60k, Wet Spam 57k, Citeh 55k, Scallys 54k, Geordies 52k all give circa 3k or less so why should we with only 42k. 

For me they just get the upper witton Not both! For the sake of knocking a few doors through and tweaking the segregation the proffits and efficiencies would be beneficial over the season. 

When we redevelop the stadium to 60k we can just stick them high up in the air somewhere hidden out the way.

[Kingman]

18 minutes ago, AvfcRigo82 said:

When we redevelop the stadium to 60k we can just stick them high up in the air somewhere hidden out the way.

All being well but that will be 2/3 years away as minimum for completion. 

In the mean time **** em! 

[blandy]

37 minutes ago, Kingman said:

IMO we seriously need to reconfigure the away end allocation we give to ratio in line with other grounds comparison Manure 76k, Spuds 62k, Arse 60k, Wet Spam 57k, Citeh 55k, Scallys 54k, Geordies 52k all give circa 3k or less so why should we with only 42k. 

For me they just get the upper witton Not both! For the sake of knocking a few doors through and tweaking the segregation the proffits and efficiencies would be beneficial over the season. 

Er, it's the Premier League rules. Whichever is the smaller of 10% of capacity or 3000 seats. (it's a bit more complex, but that's the gist of it)

[OutByEaster?]

18 minutes ago, blandy said:

Er, it's the Premier League rules. Whichever is the smaller of 10% of capacity or 3000 seats. (it's a bit more complex, but that's the gist of it)

Indeed, and in fact at VP it has the additional effect of meaning we've closed R1 in the Lower North. Capacity this season will be ever so slightly reduced.

At the recent supporters meeting when redevelopment was raised, Mr Purslow said it wasn't currently in his thoughts and that if and when VP was sold out week in and week out, then the club would look at it  - at that point it was clear that he felt that wasn't something that was at all likely and that redevelopment was nowhere near the top of the to-do list. 

30,000 season tickets and several thousand memberships later - things have changed.

 

 

[Kingman]

46 minutes ago, blandy said:

Er, it's the Premier League rules. Whichever is the smaller of 10% of capacity or 3000 seats. (it's a bit more complex, but that's the gist of it)

I didn't think we got 3k at the likes of Wolves et-al with circa 30k capacity stadiums 

[terrytini]

18 minutes ago, OutByEaster? said:

Indeed, and in fact at VP it has the additional effect of meaning we've closed R1 in the Lower North. Capacity this season will be ever so slightly reduced.

At the recent supporters meeting when redevelopment was raised, Mr Purslow said it wasn't currently in his thoughts and that if and when VP was sold out week in and week out, then the club would look at it  - at that point it was clear that he felt that wasn't something that was at all likely and that redevelopment was nowhere near the top of the to-do list. 

30,000 season tickets and several thousand memberships later - things have changed.

 

 

Have you read/seen/ heard how knocking the North Stand down would be dealt with ?

Wed have 35,000 capacity of which 33000  would be ST holders and Away fans ....I don’t see how that’d work ( and I recall you posting that there were other calls on the remainder).

I can only think they might try building the corners first ? But I’ve no idea if that’s remotely possible ?

[Dave-R]

1 hour ago, Kingman said:

IMO we seriously need to reconfigure the away end allocation we give to ratio in line with other grounds comparison Manure 76k, Spuds 62k, Arse 60k, Wet Spam 57k, Citeh 55k, Scallys 54k, Geordies 52k all give circa 3k or less so why should we with only 42k. 

For me they just get the upper witton Not both! For the sake of knocking a few doors through and tweaking the segregation the proffits and efficiencies would be beneficial over the season. 

VP needs to go OVAL now, the corners is where more seats could be added.

If we survive the drop serious thought needs to be given whether to make VP bigger or maybe the talk of a new stadium will come up again at some point if making VP bigger isn't feasable . 

[OutByEaster?]

10 minutes ago, terrytini said:

Have you read/seen/ heard how knocking the North Stand down would be dealt with ?

Wed have 35,000 capacity of which 33000  would be ST holders and Away fans ....I don’t see how that’d work ( and I recall you posting that there were other calls on the remainder).

I can only think they might try building the corners first ? But I’ve no idea if that’s remotely possible ?

It'd be very difficult - there's a dispensation to reduce away allocations during construction - but for a season or so, it'd pretty much be season ticket holders and the very lucky.

 

[blandy]

1 hour ago, Kingman said:

I didn't think we got 3k at the likes of Wolves et-al with circa 30k capacity stadiums 

We did/do.