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How Would You Describe Your Extended Family?


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My moms side of the family are good people, I don't see any of them all the much but I'm not huge into the whole family thing but they make gatherings at like weddings and funerals pleasant. My dads side of the family are all a complete waste of oxygen and should be purged from this earth, they are all a bunch of alcoholics and criminals that just offer nothing to society, it's to the point where I swear my dad was adopted as he is the only successful one in his side of the family.

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My mother's side ( of the family) is large. Her mum was Irish and she met her husband in a POW camp where he was doing porridge for being a Luftwaffe pilot. I've got seven aunts and uncles from that side.

My father's side is tiny in comparison. Just him and his sister who is a vet from Cambridge. My father's father spent the war in Gibraltar doing pharmaceutical stuff.

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Both sides are quite large (Catholics innit), to the extent that I no longer know how many cousins I actually have at this point (never mind their names!). Father's side is the half I get on with better, more knowledgeable and engaged in politics, a few artistic types and most with an interest in books. Most of them live in the South, so I don't see them as often as I'd like to (although I intend to move there in the next few years). Mother's side are good people but we don't share much in common, conversation is usually limited. A very family orientated side, all with families and kids and houses and holidays once a year. I think in my mind the represent the kind of life I just don't want to have at all, which is perhaps why I don't see them much outside of big family gatherings despite living fairly close to all of them.

Edited by CarewsEyebrowDesigner
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Mom's side are quite small, 2 parents, 3 kids.  I have 2 cousins and a brother.  They are very tight knit - mostly down to my matriarch of a nan, who died 3 years ago.  I spent a lot of time with them up to the age of about 14 (as you do), but have been more and more distant from them apart from my cousin's children's birthdays and xmas's and things.  Probably see each of them 2/3 times a year.  My mom is always trying to get everyone together at some point in the summer, usually my dad's birthday.  They are nice people on the whole.  Uncle is a hairdresser who is genuinely very funny.  My aunt has been single most of her adult life, who had a child (my cousin obvs) very young, but she has done very well and is very independent now.  My mom is the "ignored" middle child :) . My grandad is still doing well at 83, very active and since my nan died has done quite a bit of Europe (she suffered with anxiety her whole life, having shock treatment when she was 20-something).  This meant they could never go abroad and Butlins in Minehead was as far as they ever got.  Towards the end of her life we took her back there and she absolutely loved it.

 

Dads side are what you'd probably call "common".  There are 5 kids.  The mom left when my dad was 12 (he's 2nd eldest) which left him and his older brother looking after their brothers (x2) and their sister (aged 8 months at the time) with an alcoholic and very abusive father.  I recently learned that his uncle was basically a massive word removed too, abusing them in unthinkable ways - but he's never uttered a word to me about it.  They were bought up in a council house in Pedmore and child services were very frequent visitors.  School wasn't something any of them particularly liked or went to.  But they all deserve massive credit.  A couple still have "problems" with relationships etc, but they all have jobs and my dad is the star pupil (luckily for me) - he lived about 4 doors down the road with a family of what must be called saviors.  They said they saw something in my dad which made them let him stay with them and their sons.  He wanted to join the army, but these people advised him he might not want to do that (as a grunt) because Ireland was kicking off.  So he joined the Merchant Navy.  Travelled the world and got paid for it.  Watch the very first Star Wars outside Sydney Opera house and when he got back on leave met my mom.  He left eventually because 6 months apart was too much for them and he worked for my grandad (moms side) whose family treated him like as son.  He worked his way up from hod carrier to project manager, getting himself into college when I was about 6-8. 

They now live in a nice house (which dad extended himself, with mine and my brothers help) in Lapal.

Needless to say, they've made great sacrifices for us, and from where they are both from, I'm extremely proud of them and lately I've hero worshipped my dad - he's just the greatest.  I fear them getting old to the point I can't relax about it. 

Sorry for the essay, but I can't just describe a couple of families in 2 or 3 sentences. :)

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Mums side are geordies, I have very little to do with them. Fathers side arent geordies, I have very little to do with them. Wifes family are extremely chavvy, I have very little to do with them. You see a pattern. I am ok with my parents and sister but on the whole I avoid my family.

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1 hour ago, lapal_fan said:

Mom's side are quite small, 2 parents, 3 kids.  I have 2 cousins and a brother.  They are very tight knit - mostly down to my matriarch of a nan, who died 3 years ago.  I spent a lot of time with them up to the age of about 14 (as you do), but have been more and more distant from them apart from my cousin's children's birthdays and xmas's and things.  Probably see each of them 2/3 times a year.  My mom is always trying to get everyone together at some point in the summer, usually my dad's birthday.  They are nice people on the whole.  Uncle is a hairdresser who is genuinely very funny.  My aunt has been single most of her adult life, who had a child (my cousin obvs) very young, but she has done very well and is very independent now.  My mom is the "ignored" middle child :) . My grandad is still doing well at 83, very active and since my nan died has done quite a bit of Europe (she suffered with anxiety her whole life, having shock treatment when she was 20-something).  This meant they could never go abroad and Butlins in Minehead was as far as they ever got.  Towards the end of her life we took her back there and she absolutely loved it.

 

Dads side are what you'd probably call "common".  There are 5 kids.  The mom left when my dad was 12 (he's 2nd eldest) which left him and his older brother looking after their brothers (x2) and their sister (aged 8 months at the time) with an alcoholic and very abusive father.  I recently learned that his uncle was basically a massive word removed too, abusing them in unthinkable ways - but he's never uttered a word to me about it.  They were bought up in a council house in Pedmore and child services were very frequent visitors.  School wasn't something any of them particularly liked or went to.  But they all deserve massive credit.  A couple still have "problems" with relationships etc, but they all have jobs and my dad is the star pupil (luckily for me) - he lived about 4 doors down the road with a family of what must be called saviors.  They said they saw something in my dad which made them let him stay with them and their sons.  He wanted to join the army, but these people advised him he might not want to do that (as a grunt) because Ireland was kicking off.  So he joined the Merchant Navy.  Travelled the world and got paid for it.  Watch the very first Star Wars outside Sydney Opera house and when he got back on leave met my mom.  He left eventually because 6 months apart was too much for them and he worked for my grandad (moms side) whose family treated him like as son.  He worked his way up from hod carrier to project manager, getting himself into college when I was about 6-8. 

They now live in a nice house (which dad extended himself, with mine and my brothers help) in Lapal.

Needless to say, they've made great sacrifices for us, and from where they are both from, I'm extremely proud of them and lately I've hero worshipped my dad - he's just the greatest.  I fear them getting old to the point I can't relax about it. 

Sorry for the essay, but I can't just describe a couple of families in 2 or 3 sentences. :)

Lapal as in Halesowen/quinton lapal?

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My Mom is an only child, so as both Grandparents on that side have passed, I no longer have any family on that side. Her side of the family were from Tamworth in Staffordshire, and my Grandparents were self employed for most of their working life, running several different businesses, including a corner shop, a fish and chip shop, a couple of pubs, and a wool shop. They were both very gentle, and lovely people. They were middle class, and quite well off in comparison to the other side of the family. They were quite religious (although it was never pushed on us). Later in life they became foster parents.

My Dad has a brother and two sisters, and his parents were both from inner city Birmingham, and very much working class. My Nan's family were of Irish stock, and my Grandad's family moved to Brum from London. We spent more time with this side of the family, as we lived nearer to them. My Grandad is to this day my hero. He served in the Merchant Navy during WWII, and was a very experienced sailor. After the War, he worked in a wire mill for the majority of his working life. He was an absolute gent, and although wasn't a very big man in stature, he didn't take shit from anyone. My Nan can best be described, as common as muck, but she was an absolute gem. Mad as a pan of frogs, and a vocabulary that would make a docker blush. Now they've both passed, and since we moved to the North East of England, we see my Aunts and Uncle a little bit less than we used to, but they all still live in North Birmingham.

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I have  a big family (greeks for you) very close to each. My mums said are all warm and affection with each other. my dads not so much, they are more focused on making money and find it difficult expressing their emotions. It all stems from granddad as he was very Hitler like with them. he use to beat them for the slightest little thing like answering back for example. But in his head he felt it was for the right thing. My granddad is no longer with us but he was a crazy mofo. My dad was telling me, my uncle was getting severely beaten by a bully for a few weeks in school, when my granddad found out (my uncle was 12 and this bully was about 18-19) he went down to the school with a metal pipe and beat the hell out of him. He got arrested and got only 6 months in prison. That's only one incident (as there were loads), but he always did what was best for his family in his mind, Whether the methods were correct that's a different story. 

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my mom is one of 5 sisters, all of them have a couple of kids, all of them are divorced and on their second husband, im the third oldest so can remember all their first husbands, there are 11 kids, my brother is the oldest at 33, the youngest is 11, there are then 6 grandkids, the biggest problem with it all is that the sisters are bored with their lives, at any given point at least 2 of them arent talking to each other, they fight over my grandad who left my gran for another woman before i was born, they fight over us kids, money, ex husbands, fight over absolutely anything, constantly trying to drag us all in, i get on with them all really well but you cant trust any of them, i'll go see one of them for their birthday but then on another birthday im away or doing something, it causes mayhem

its all quite hard to explain because deep down they're all really close, so are all the cousins, my gran is one of 3 who then had 5 kids each, who then all have at least 2 kids each...so when you start adding in 2nd cousins and what have you there are over 100 of us and because we are close we dont really say "2nd cousin" or "my moms cousin" everyone is just my cousin, my mates take the piss out of me for it, i'll go out on a night out in kiddy and almost guarantee i'll bump in to 3 cousins

my dad is also one of five but they arent as close, i still see 2 of my aunties but there are 2 uncles i dont really see much of, one of my uncles is a bit of a lethario, i dont think anyone actually knows how many kids he's got, i know he's got 2 kids called daniel, he's on his 4th wife i think, my dad has remarried and got another 3 kids who id say as i get older the relationship gets better, im 20 years older than my brother, again theres no "step brother" or any of that

im lucky enough that all my grandparents are still alive, so are all my great aunties and uncles, its a big old family, ive booked my wedding for next year, my invited family is 84 people with some very disappointed people not included, i think the missus has invited about 15 of hers, ive met maybe about a quarter of her family, they just dont do anything together or see each other

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I have a slightly odd family.

My mom came from a big family, she had a lot of siblings, possibly into double figures I think. I know next to nothing about any of them, besides a few token names and that almost all of them had health problems and a lot died fairly young. I've never knowingly met any of them, and could walk past them in street without knowing a thing. She only really kept in contact with one of her sisters, until her death, and again I never met that particular aunt. A few of them came to my mom's funeral and we didn't even speak.

We've always been closer to my dad's side of the family, but still wouldn't say we're really close. My dad was effectively an only child, he had a sister who died as an infant and was never spoken about, to the extent we don't even know where her grave is. My grandad died when my dad was still at school. So I only really knew 1 grandparent, my dad's mother, who lived with us and pretty much looked after us whilst my parents worked, she used to cook for us all. The extended family basically all ties back to her, her 2 sisters have always been known to us as our aunts, and we used to regularly visit them despite them being scattered about the country, to the extent when I was much younger we'd go on holiday with them, or take holidays to visit them. There are also whole other sections of the family I've barely any knowledge of, which ties back to my nan's father remarrying and their extended family I think. Both my parents, and my nan, are dead now but I still receive Christmas cards from family members I've never met, never heard of, and haven't the faintest idea of the relation to.

Of my aunts familes, one went very country and got into village life and became increasingly 'farmy', and are more 'touchy feely' than the family generally. The other side is more money savvy and got into property - very much do it yourself people, and have had a good life, from the outside looking in anyway, because of it. We've kinda drifted a lot, especially with the older members of my family dying, and the most direct relations getting older, we don't see as much of each other as we did when I was a kid. It's increasingly at funerals that we meet up, unfortunately.

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