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LxYoungAVFC

How to look busy at work when you have nothing to do

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Hey there

I was wondering if anybody has some interesting techniques to look busy at work when you really aren't busy at all.  :D

Maybe you don't want your boss to give you a task or your Co-worker to ask for a favour because you are already stressed enough with the work you have.

How do you give people the illusion that you are always working hard and giving 110%?

How to look busy:

  • Play a youtube video called "Typing/Keyboard Sounds" whilst browsing/not working. (I pause it from time to time so it doesn't sound suspicious).
  • Take a screenshot of an installation process about 3/4 of the way through. Open it when you leave your desk so suspicious people think you're just waiting for the installation to finish.
  • Print random stuff from time to time, use the file shredder later to discard of the fake work.
  • Make friends in the IT-department. Your browsing history (or any data your employer would check) will always be clean :D . From time to time say your Laptop has some kind of error and it has to be looked at. If your boss' IT-knowledge is limited to Outlook, Excel and Word, just make up some random bull**** that sounds complex, but say it in a tone that suggests it's basic knowledge so he won't ask about it. --> i.e. "Boss, my metasploit connection just timed out after 2.7 seconds and nsf-payload vanished. It's still working on my desktop so I'll go show the IT-guy to make sure the Laptop isn't damaged." Then have a donut and smoke with the IT-Guy ;)

Any more? :)

 

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I just find something to clean, do it slowly, then clean it again preferably whilst chatting to someone nearby. Kills an hour or so.

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I work for a design company and on the top floor we have the photography studio. It's the best room in the place and only two guys work up there. They are also the only floor to get air-conditioning, yesterday was absolutely brutal for everyone but them. They also get paid very handsomely, much more than I do, and they can do whatever the hell they like and are often seen wandering around dossing.

 

Bastards.

 

As for ways to look busy at work, I dunno really, just furrow your brow as you read VillaTalk. Works for most of us.

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Run a macro, then run another macro to fix the thing that the previous macro changed, and so on.... 

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BE in the IT department.

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Edited by tonyh29

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open a spreadsheet, mutter at intervals, jeez, can you believe this shit, stuff like that.Learn the power of alt-tab

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I generally find walking around with a piece of paper on a clipboard works pretty well for me. Sometimes i freestyle and don't even use the clipboard...I'm crazy like that.

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After working most of my life on price work i would find it almost impossible to toss it off. 

 

There is always something that needs doing.

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When reading VT, have a pen in your hand and just write things down every now and then.

 

"He can't be just messing about on the internet, he's taking notes"

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My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen.

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My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen.

 

And you didn't even have to google it.. :unsure:

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My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen.

And you didn't even have to google it.. :unsure:

"So, Mr Fan, why did you leave your last empl.."

"Googled massive cocks. Next"

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My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen.

And you didn't even have to google it.. :unsure:

"So, Mr Fan, why did you leave your last empl.."

"Googled massive cocks. Next"

 

 

I know exactly how you'd have said that, and that makes it funnier :lol:

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In terms of dossing, there was a glorious 3 month period in my youth when I was foolishly left in charge of a formerly popular Basingstoke furniture retailer (let's call them Hargo Comeshop... which now I think of it is a solid name for a sex-shop).  Under my stewardship, the following innovations were implemented:

 

  • Warehouse Jackass - stacking mattresses atop one another and performing various death-defying leaps from the top of the storage racks.
  • Building an extension on the roof of the downstairs office using ladders and empty furniture boxes.  This was then used as a lookout post from which to hurl bubble wrap at passing staff members.
  • The Lift of Eternal Fear - daring people to crawl into the tiny stock lift (basically an oversized dumbwaiter) and undertake the perilous one-story journey in pitch blackness.  As there were no controls inside the lift, a popular addition to this was to run upstairs before the lift reached the top and press the button to send the traveller straight back down before they could climb out, then run downstairs and rinse/repeat.
  • Roll cage trolley jousting - fairly self-explanatory.
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Google maps open is a good one.

Sometimes I'll open up a couple of word documents from older jobs and have them open taking up half the screen each, so it always looks like I'm doing something even if I'm caught with news.com.au or villatalk open

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