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Spiders


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I'll keep throwing this chap outside, although I know he will be back soon enough. 

 

Apparently there are loads of false widows knocking about, but google images has told me that this is not one. My girlfriend is a veggie, so killing them will not go down well, although she does make me kill moths on sight - clearly, clothes are more important than ethics...

 

Remind her that vegetables live and grow until they are callously wrenched from their roots or stems to be eaten by her.

They probably just wanted to compliment your hair or the Mustang.

 

You're a bad man.

 

I have Jenny for that.

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Someone told that they don't like conkers the other week and I have never heard this theory before in my life but I will try it when they start to drop.

 

I think I hate all insects and if any are in my house they will be taken down.

 

Sorry to be that guy, but spiders are arachnids, not insects. God, I hate myself for pointing that out!

Edited by dAVe80
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Spiders are cool.

 

Garden spiders are very much in season, Dave's right it's spider time right now. If it was raining you'd be finding all your house spiders out and about too. They're always there, in your wall cavities and in the void behind your kitchen cupboards. If they weren't your house would be full of woodlice n stuff.

 

Just pick them up gently and carry them a little way away from the house.

 

Not many wasps this year though.

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Every bug serves a purpose. Whenever some ignorant muppet tries to claim that bees are useful because they make honey (only honey bees do) and that wasps serve no purpose, I make it my duty to tell them that wasps are incredibly important in terms of population control of other insects. Without them, we'd have way more of them buzzing around, ruining crops and just generally being dicks.

 

If humans were all wiped out tomorrow, the world would get along just fine, better in fact. If we wiped out bugs we find annoying then the world would be ****.

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Someone told that they don't like conkers the other week and I have never heard this theory before in my life but I will try it when they start to drop.

 

I think I hate all insects and if any are in my house they will be taken down.

 

Sorry to be that guy, but spiders are arachnids, not insects. God, I hate myself for pointing that out!

 

 

I just went on a youtube video about spiders and this was the top comment there, that wasn't you as well was it?  :P

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Every bug serves a purpose. Whenever some ignorant muppet tries to claim that bees are useful because they make honey (only honey bees do) and that wasps serve no purpose, I make it my duty to tell them that wasps are incredibly important in terms of population control of other insects. Without them, we'd have way more of them buzzing around, ruining crops and just generally being dicks.

 

If humans were all wiped out tomorrow, the world would get along just fine, better in fact. If we wiped out bugs we find annoying then the world would be ****.

 

Honey is disgusting. Bees pollinate plants and flowers, that's what gives them a purpose.

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Someone told that they don't like conkers the other week and I have never heard this theory before in my life but I will try it when they start to drop.

 

I think I hate all insects and if any are in my house they will be taken down.

 

Sorry to be that guy, but spiders are arachnids, not insects. God, I hate myself for pointing that out!

 

 

I just went on a youtube video about spiders and this was the top comment there, that wasn't you as well was it?  :P

 

 

Yeah, I'm the internet's leading authority on pointing out that spiders are not insects.

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I agree. Wasps do that too, as do many other insects. Controlling the population of other insects is incredibly important though.

 

Besides, if you just stay still and let them sate their curiosity, wasps will generally leave you alone. Swiping at them just enrages them. I have never been stung by a bee or a wasp.

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Honey is insanely nice. And thats's coming from someone who hates sweet stuff and eats chocolate maybe once or twice a year. Insects are evolutionary geniuses, anyone dissing them is just jealous they don't have an exoskeleton.

 

In that case, why should I listen to your opinion?

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I've only ever been stung by a wasp once, and to be fair it was a mutual misunderstanding.

 

I was looking through the viewfinder of my wonderful 1980's Zenith SLR camera, and decided to take a photo. This involved a hearty press down on the giant chrome button. At that exact same time a wasp decided to stop for a breather on my big russian knob (!).

 

I squeezed, he stung, I squeezed harder determined to get my photo.

 

No photo, stingy finger, two halves of wasp to choose from.

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Honey is insanely nice. And thats's coming from someone who hates sweet stuff and eats chocolate maybe once or twice a year. Insects are evolutionary geniuses, anyone dissing them is just jealous they don't have an exoskeleton.

 

In that case, why should I listen to your opinion?

I don't know.

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I kill anything that violates the terms I set under the 1994 Belfast Accords, which clearly state that any living being that enters the private domain or, failing that, the designated 'safe space' of CED, will die a swift death.

 

The Spider & Moth cultures know the terms and it is entirely on them if they fail to adhere to them.

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