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AstonMartyn88

What is your experience of mental health?

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Ps. Really helps to have villatalk in times like these.  Can't really offload those kind of thoughts with my mates, great though they've been. 

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1 hour ago, Jon said:

Actually feel like I've coped with lockdown fairly well given it's coincided with me coming off the meds.

Sounds to me like you're doing an incredible job, mate.

"I've just started to walk without crutches, but unexpectedly I've got nobody around to help me balance and the only path I can practice on is uneven and littered with obstacles."

You should be proud of the progress.

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3 hours ago, Jon said:

Ps. Really helps to have villatalk in times like these.  Can't really offload those kind of thoughts with my mates, great though they've been. 

Robin Williams Its Not Your Fault GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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9 hours ago, KentVillan said:

The good thing about finding emotional support on a Villa forum is you know everyone here can deal with buckets of boring, oppressive, soul destroying shit being tipped on their head for years on end.

Yup . When I see somebody in a Villa shirt I see SAS wings.

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I've made a conscious effort today to sit down and do something I want to do. I want to learn a new aspect to a piece of software which will allow me to create things for another project.

And at every step, I'm banging my head against it. I'm not really getting anywhere. What I'm doing is quite simple - I want to make a 3d model of a piece of armour to then, a long way down the line, print it as part of making something. I will make what feels like some progress, and then realise there's something wrong, and smack my head into an issue and then spend ages trying to fix that and then end up starting again with a new approach and then smack my head into another issue and over and over and over again. Sheet a couple of hours of it my head's had enough and I can't fight the desire to just walk away from it that my head has been saying from the first time I came to a grinding halt.

I dunno. I've got this idea, the means to do what I want to do, but the stamina, patience, whatever to deal with a new skill quite unlike the stuff I'm used to, just isn't there. But without it I cannot achieve what I want to do. And still my head thumps into a new problem and my mind immediately goes 'oh for **** sake you're wasting your weekend trying to do this stupid shit sat in the same chair you've sat in all week and you aren't enjoying it and you're walking in the dark and no doubt you'll need to start again again in a minute just stop'.

I understand that in trying to learn I'm not wasting my time and yet my mind still feels that itch of not getting anywhere. But then I just get more and more frustrated and think about all the other stuff that is on the list.

And I've got a headache.

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9 hours ago, Jon said:

Yeah this lockdown has been getting to me. Been separated from my wife for almost 2 years now.  That's been hard.  I'd kind of enjoyed socialising and looking for someone new (she fcuked off with a new arsehole bloke pretty much straight away - a lothario type guy I knew who had posed as my friend) especially when I got some welcome female attention. But lockdown has put a complete kibosh on that.  It just leaves me with my own dark thoughts.  The thoughts of them being happily together during lockdown.  Me being alone, getting older, never going to find anyone etc.

Then there's work.  Made redundant just over a year ago.  Started my own business a year ago. Lockdown has kiboshed that fledgling business too, as it involved selling dog biscuits via pubs and bars.  

So I've got no money, nothing to do, no wife, no girlfriend, no job, maybe soon no house.  It probably doesn't help that I came off my sertraline meds 3 months ago, just before lockdown.  

My saving graces: I've got a gorgeous 8 year old daughter who I'm with half of the time.  That really helps.  Also got some good friends.  But the dark thoughts are prevalent.  Often feel like my life is fcuked. Just want this lockdown to end. Actually feel like I've coped with lockdown fairly well given it's coincided with me coming off the meds. 

That really puts my shit into perspective.

I hate where I live, I hate the people around here, and I hate the fact I can't do anything about it at present.

Luckily my wife is keeping me sane and we're OK for money at the minute.

Sorry to hear of your woes, @Jon

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3 hours ago, rjw63 said:

That really puts my shit into perspective.

I hate where I live, I hate the people around here, and I hate the fact I can't do anything about it at present.

Luckily my wife is keeping me sane and we're OK for money at the minute.

 

I know you said you will move away when you retire (I recall in about 10 years?)

Why not move now.. somewhere still around the region but where you will be happier. 10 years is a long time to hate where you live? 

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22 hours ago, Chindie said:

It's a weird time.

I don't feel particularly affected by the global situation. I'm all too able to function with limited interaction with the outside world, and I'm distant enough from those I know that may be at risk that I can't really say I'm worried on that front. I'm able to work from home, and although it's got its frustrations, it's workable.

The thing I've noticed most about my mental state recently has basically been I've become fairly irritable and unmotivated, and feel frustrated with various things. 

But then I've had a couple of times when I've sat there and realised, I'm basically alone. I've seen my girlfriend a couple of times in the last 2 months, one of those through a window, as she has close family in the risk bracket. We're not phonecall people so we text every day. But I realised besides work and going to the outdoor once a week, I've spoken to another person 3 times since March - a call to my sister, a call to the girlfriend when she needed something, and my neighbour having a quick word while i was moving my car. I'm not sure I have friends anymore. And that final right made me intensely sad. 

I know how you feel. Bar seeing my Dad today, I haven't had a face to face conservation with anyone since early March. I'm lucky in that my work involves spending a lot of time on the phone speaking to clients and lots of zoom calls with colleagues so I don't feel starved of contact, however, its not the same as being face to face with someone. I've nodded at a few neighbours and passed pleasantries with a few people in supermarket queues, but thats it. I have a few good mates but being blokes we just don't make the effort to speak to each other, which makes me sad. I need to sort that out and organise a quiz night or something. 

 

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One thing I'd suggest to anyone who finds walking / outdoor spaces beneficial to their mental health. Instead of going to parks and beauty spots, look for some more obscure walking trails on the Ordnance Survey website (you can order paper maps or you can use their web maps to find a route).

Those of you who are city based will probably need to take the car to reach a suitable starting point. So long as you don't pick obvious beauty spots, you'll probably find there's very few people around.

I've been amazed how easy it is to avoid the crowds if you just go a bit beyond the obvious outdoor spaces.

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55 minutes ago, Xela said:

I know how you feel. Bar seeing my Dad today, I haven't had a face to face conservation with anyone since early March. I'm lucky in that my work involves spending a lot of time on the phone speaking to clients and lots of zoom calls with colleagues so I don't feel starved of contact, however, its not the same as being face to face with someone. I've nodded at a few neighbours and passed pleasantries with a few people in supermarket queues, but thats it. I have a few good mates but being blokes we just don't make the effort to speak to each other, which makes me sad. I need to sort that out and organise a quiz night or something. 

 

I’m similar living alone. I do a quiz with the lads on video weekly but it’s not the same. 
Wednesday I met up with my folks for a Social distance walk, and then yesterday Had a social distance beer and walk with a mate. It was so nice to have some human interaction. 
 

Prior to meeting up with people, I’ve found that I was having mood swings. Some days I’d feel alright about the lockdown and then other times I’d be in a right pissy mood about the smallest things. Been having weird dreams as well. Sometimes sleep has alluded me. 
 

It’s a strange time 

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13 hours ago, Xela said:

I know you said you will move away when you retire (I recall in about 10 years?)

Why not move now.. somewhere still around the region but where you will be happier. 10 years is a long time to hate where you live? 

Wife can retire in less than a year, but outstanding mortage dictates she stays on another two or three years.

Unfortunately (not meant in a bad way) the mother in law lives alone just up the road and we have to do shit for her a lot, she's 88. There's no one else local to do it.

Until she's out of the picture we are lumbered.

If not for her we would have to sell up and rent, and keep the excess cash.

I'm not due to retire for 10 years but I'll move anywhere, I'll always find something.

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5 hours ago, rjw63 said:

Wife can retire in less than a year, but outstanding mortage dictates she stays on another two or three years.

Unfortunately (not meant in a bad way) the mother in law lives alone just up the road and we have to do shit for her a lot, she's 88. There's no one else local to do it.

Until she's out of the picture we are lumbered.

If not for her we would have to sell up and rent, and keep the excess cash.

I'm not due to retire for 10 years but I'll move anywhere, I'll always find something.

I get it. Elderly parents are what stopped my parents moving to the country before they did. 

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13 minutes ago, Xela said:

I get it. Elderly parents are what stopped my parents moving to the country before they did. 

I look forward to ruining our kids' lives in a few years' time. 

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7 hours ago, rjw63 said:

Wife can retire in less than a year, but outstanding mortage dictates she stays on another two or three years.

Unfortunately (not meant in a bad way) the mother in law lives alone just up the road and we have to do shit for her a lot, she's 88. There's no one else local to do it.

Until she's out of the picture we are lumbered.

If not for her we would have to sell up and rent, and keep the excess cash.

I'm not due to retire for 10 years but I'll move anywhere, I'll always find something.

Kill her.

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He comes across really well here. Thought a few of you might get something useful out of this one.

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15 hours ago, lapal_fan said:

Kill lapal_fan

I'm sure there's a very long queue to do this.

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12 hours ago, KentVillan said:

He comes across really well here. Thought a few of you might get something useful out of this one.

The Harry's heros program showed another side to him when he fell out with Ruddock, genuine guy.

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2 hours ago, foreveryoung said:

The Harry's heros program showed another side to him when he fell out with Ruddock, genuine guy.

Makes you wonder how often he was on soccer Saturday pissed up too (or at least under the influence).

I wasn’t expecting to see that scene last night, I think a lot of people from both sides of the equation would be able to relate to it.

And fair play to Merse cos many many people wouldn’t have said anything particularly to Razor Ruddock

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5 hours ago, rjw63 said:

I'm sure there's a very long queue to do this.

Yep, and you're right at the back. 

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37 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

Yep, and you're right at the back. 

That's ok, I'm fine with someone else doing you in with the cheese wire

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