What is your experience of mental health?

[NurembergVillan]

12 hours ago, Midfielder said:

@snowychap

i clicked your link.

Anyone on here, should you ever Gary Speed / finish yourself off whether it be from the depths of depravity or the the high crest of highs, should you ever "top yourself" I will totally kick your ass in the afterlife. I will seek you out. It'll be my mission. Despite the fact I am amidst an existential consideration myself , it points me toward a realisation of my purpose. Though not visible to me in this mortal coil , I am destined to be an American style Marshall of ass-kickiness, like said, if you ahem "cut things short" don't give me a remit. I'll kick your ass and fk it, you know what I'll bring your tortured soul to VP and you can week in week out be tortured by the shit on display 

where's the off switch you ask, there isn't one ! Muhahahahaha morale of the story is...

"stay afloat fvckos" you know what I mean. In your own ways. I'm outtta here (this thread . But you know what I mean. I'm deadly serious VT'ers).  we take care of our own, despite my 

[rjw63]

Well done Tyson Fury, he gets lots of stick but I know where he's coming from.

[kurtsimonw]

I got a new job recently which has helped a little. But it's helped in more of a "I'm too busy to worry about other things" in the moment kind of way.

[Dodgyknees]

Mental health has been a troublesome journey for me. I completely understand where people are coming from on here. I have been 'well' for around 10 years, give or take a few moments where I struggle (I know I can be a jerk on here, that kind of ties in with my difficult moments, I honestly don't mean to be a jerk!).

But those moments don't happen too often anymore. I have been on a weird journey recently (maybe, 2 years) where I look at things differently and am starting to want different things, to do different things. Back when I was struggling with bad mental health, these would have been decisions which broke me - but now I feel refreshed and confident making those decisions.

I made a massive change last year and some friends were telling me I was wrong... I would have (in the past) been afraid to go ahead after that. This time they got a bit of fury from me on Imessage and over the phone. I wouldn't have done that before.

Even when things are tricky (something at work atm) I am able to balance it out and cope. 

I don't think there is anything in particular which helped me. I honestly cannot tell others how to get to this point or how to get through bad days, but I am always willing to talk to those who are struggling. I've been to some real deep places where I was sat thinking about ways to end it all, but that feels so far away now, I don't even recognise it as me.

So anybody having those moments, don't give in, trust me when I say there is a future where things are easier. The only proof I have is that somebody as mentally weak as I was, is now a strong person who can cope with a lot lot more.

Edited August 13, 2017 by Dick

[NurembergVillan]

It's back...

Thankfully I've made contact with my pre-Canada counsellor who helped get me mentally prepared for the move.  She's not available until mid-September though, but I've got myself booked in.  I shouldn't still be having these sorts of spells.

That said, I've been ill for a few days so I've not been sleeping and I'm always prone to low mood when I'm knackered.

Oh well, see you on the other side.  I'm going in!

[lapal_fan]

7 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

It's back...

Thankfully I've made contact with my pre-Canada counsellor who helped get me mentally prepared for the move.  She's not available until mid-September though, but I've got myself booked in.  I shouldn't still be having these sorts of spells.

That said, I've been ill for a few days so I've not been sleeping and I'm always prone to low mood when I'm knackered.

Oh well, see you on the other side.  I'm going in!

Sorry to hear that man. 

Whilst I can't do anything personally, just know I'm wishing you the best! 

You got this. 

x

[Dodgyknees]

2 hours ago, NurembergVillan said:

It's back...

Thankfully I've made contact with my pre-Canada counsellor who helped get me mentally prepared for the move.  She's not available until mid-September though, but I've got myself booked in.  I shouldn't still be having these sorts of spells.

That said, I've been ill for a few days so I've not been sleeping and I'm always prone to low mood when I'm knackered.

Oh well, see you on the other side.  I'm going in!

If you need to chat, PM me. 

[lapal_fan]

2 hours ago, Dick said:

If you need to chat, PM me. 

He's a married man Dick! 

[Dodgyknees]

1 hour ago, lapal_fan said:

He's a married man Dick! 

Don't you dare give Dick orders.

[maqroll]

I'm starting to think everybody is a little bonkers, and it's the people who know they're bonkers but feel like they need to be embarrassed by it who end up with mental health issues. Pressure makes things crack, and sadly for a lot of people I think they put far too much pressure on themselves.

[Rugeley Villa]

My wife wants me to go on some medication for my stress and anxiety. Personally I'd rather not, but at times it does make me go a bit funny. 

Another thing I feel comfortable saying now is that whilst I've been using cocaine heavily for the last 12 months(clean at moment) I've been hearing voices in my head whilst high and also in the morning when I've had little sleep. I only confided in my wife a few months back about it as I was scared and embarrassed. I've had it in past whilst I was heavily hooked on the needle, but this episode was the first whilst snorting the drug. When I'm not using I don't have the voices and tbf I've made some great strides in the last couple of months. The odd blip here and there, but I'm getting better. My wife bore the brunt of the voices at times which weren't great. 

[maqroll]

Solitude is a cool word and a cool concept. Some people fear it, like it's a failure if they experience it. I **** cherish it. Not sure why I'm posting this here

[mjmooney]

56 minutes ago, maqroll said:

Solitude is a cool word and a cool concept. Some people fear it, like it's a failure if they experience it. I **** cherish it. Not sure why I'm posting this here

I agree. I'm pretty gregarious, but I'm perfectly happy with my own company. In fact a bit of solitude is essential now and then. 

[lapal_fan]

On 10/09/2017 at 18:33, Rugeley Villa said:

My wife wants me to go on some medication for my stress and anxiety. Personally I'd rather not, but at times it does make me go a bit funny. 

Another thing I feel comfortable saying now is that whilst I've been using cocaine heavily for the last 12 months(clean at moment) I've been hearing voices in my head whilst high and also in the morning when I've had little sleep. I only confided in my wife a few months back about it as I was scared and embarrassed. I've had it in past whilst I was heavily hooked on the needle, but this episode was the first whilst snorting the drug. When I'm not using I don't have the voices and tbf I've made some great strides in the last couple of months. The odd blip here and there, but I'm getting better. My wife bore the brunt of the voices at times which weren't great. 

I feel as though sometimes the only thing from holding you back from leading a clean life is your worry about how you project yourself as a "man" to others. 

You won't (or in the past have refused to) have the snip because you worried about not being a man - now you're having an abortion and already have 3 kids.

And you've been embarrassed and scared about revealing things which honestly, are pretty worrying signs Ruge. 

No one is going to think less of you for wanting to get over problems or solving them, and if they do - they're **** dickheads who you don't want to know anyway. 

You need to do what's right for YOU and YOUR family, not what some mong with a scaffold pole or a pint carling in his hand thinks. 

You've got 1 life - don't **** it up, for the sake of your children more than anything.  And for the love of God, don't let them follow in your footsteps.  

[Rugeley Villa]

6 hours ago, lapal_fan said:

I feel as though sometimes the only thing from holding you back from leading a clean life is your worry about how you project yourself as a "man" to others. 

You won't (or in the past have refused to) have the snip because you worried about not being a man - now you're having an abortion and already have 3 kids.

And you've been embarrassed and scared about revealing things which honestly, are pretty worrying signs Ruge. 

No one is going to think less of you for wanting to get over problems or solving them, and if they do - they're **** dickheads who you don't want to know anyway. 

You need to do what's right for YOU and YOUR family, not what some mong with a scaffold pole or a pint carling in his hand thinks. 

You've got 1 life - don't **** it up, for the sake of your children more than anything.  And for the love of God, don't let them follow in your footsteps.  

You're not far wrong. If you go back only 3 years I was scared and to stubborn to let my ego go. Very sad I know, but I had a reputation for heavy drinking and being a big coke head. Was a bit of a live wire and I lived off that since my late teens. Was never a dull night out with me, but then I stopped caring about being a face about town and started sitting in a lot more drinking and doing coke, which in itself made my problems worse. You're not the only one to pick up on it, but I always felt like I had to be a certain way because it's what people expected from me. you're also right about being 'a man' and not wanting to do things because it's not what a man does. It's all stupid I know, but I suppose your environment plays a part of how you are shaped to a degree. I've stopped bothering with majority of people I used to bother with and can now go weeks without socialising with friends and it don't bother me. I feel like I'm getting better and only this weekend gone I was more than content watching episodes of columbo all weekend without thinking of getting wasted. Being a drunk and coke head for years takes it out of you and I'm honestly tired of it all. I'd never want my kids to take after me, even though my lad worships the ground I walk on and copies everything I do. 

[Rugeley Villa]

9 hours ago, maqroll said:

Solitude is a cool word and a cool concept. Some people fear it, like it's a failure if they experience it. I **** cherish it. Not sure why I'm posting this here

its also a cool song. One of my favourites.

[Rugeley Villa]

Since having the abortion it has played on my wife's mental health, and I've had to have a few days off work to help her out. Not nice, but it's done now.

[lapal_fan]

1 minute ago, Rugeley Villa said:

You're not far wrong. If you go back only 3 years I was scared and to stubborn to let my ego go. Very sad I know, but I had a reputation for heavy drinking and being a big coke head. Was a bit of a live wire and I lived off that since my late teens. Was never a dull night out with me, but then I stopped caring about being a face about town and started sitting in a lot more drinking and doing coke, which in itself made my problems worse. You're not the only one to pick up on it, but I always felt like I had to be a certain way because it's what people expected from me. you're also right about being 'a man' and not wanting to do things because it's not what a man does. It's all stupid I know, but I suppose your environment plays a part of how you are shaped to a degree. I've stopped bothering with majority of people I used to bother with and can now go weeks without socialising with friends and it don't bother me. I feel like I'm getting better and only this weekend gone I was more than content watching episodes of columbo all weekend without thinking of getting wasted. Being a drunk and coke head for years takes it out of you and I'm honestly tired of it all. I'd never want my kids to take after me, even though my lad worships the ground I walk on and copies everything I do. 

Mate if I could reach my arms through your screen I'd **** smack you round the head and give you a hug after. 

And you're right too.  It is the environment you were bought up in.  If you'd have been bought up in the Yorkshire Dales you'd be trotting around on a horse, turning your nose up at peasants.

But only YOU can do anything about it. 

My dad was the son of a heavy alcoholic, he's been abused by him and his brothers.  His mom **** off when he was 11 and left my dad, his older brother of 1 year, 2 younger brothers (about 6 years younger than my dad) and an 11 month old daughter.  So my dad, aged 11 had to bring up his younger siblings.  He lived in a rough as arseholes estate in the Black Country, hardly ever went to school - because, why the **** should he?  And what was the point? - but to his credit, he did go sometimes. 

When he was 16 and living with his mate literally 100 yards down the road, he wanted to join the army.  This was when N.Ireland was in full flow.  Thankfully, the family who took him in (when he was about 14) told him about the merchant navy.  

By 19, he'd travelled the world on a BP oil tanker, maintaining ships and being a lackie.  When on leave met my mom, and a few years later I was born.  He left the navy when he got married at 19/20 and was a labourer to my moms dad.  Then he went to college and became a bricklayer.  Then he went back a few years later and became  a qualified Site Manager.  He's done alright for himself, he's built all his own extensions, worked 6 or 7 days a week (away from home sometimes) and now lives in a nice 4 bedroom'd house in Lapal.  

His siblings are all nice people too, for the most part. 

Sometimes, we'll bump into his old mates (very rarely obviously) - all still the same, doing the same shit - getting pissed, fighting, blah blah blah.  But they're 60 years old nearly. 

My long, and very boring point is..  It's all up to you Ruge.  You're the master of your own destiny.  You can make the change, or you can blame X, Y and Z and do the same stuff and make the same excuses.  It's never too late either.  Your kids love is and will be unconditional, until they turn 13 - then they can make their own opinions and choices.  If you tell them/show them bad choices, chances are - they will do them too. 

**** me how preachy am I?  Wish I'd take my own advice!   

[Rugeley Villa]

14 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

Mate if I could reach my arms through your screen I'd **** smack you round the head and give you a hug after. 

And you're right too.  It is the environment you were bought up in.  If you'd have been bought up in the Yorkshire Dales you'd be trotting around on a horse, turning your nose up at peasants.

But only YOU can do anything about it. 

My dad was the son of a heavy alcoholic, he's been abused by him and his brothers.  His mom **** off when he was 11 and left my dad, his older brother of 1 year, 2 younger brothers (about 6 years younger than my dad) and an 11 month old daughter.  So my dad, aged 11 had to bring up his younger siblings.  He lived in a rough as arseholes estate in the Black Country, hardly ever went to school - because, why the **** should he?  And what was the point? - but to his credit, he did go sometimes. 

When he was 16 and living with his mate literally 100 yards down the road, he wanted to join the army.  This was when N.Ireland was in full flow.  Thankfully, the family who took him in (when he was about 14) told him about the merchant navy.  

By 19, he'd travelled the world on a BP oil tanker, maintaining ships and being a lackie.  When on leave met my mom, and a few years later I was born.  He left the navy when he got married at 19/20 and was a labourer to my moms dad.  Then he went to college and became a bricklayer.  Then he went back a few years later and became  a qualified Site Manager.  He's done alright for himself, he's built all his own extensions, worked 6 or 7 days a week (away from home sometimes) and now lives in a nice 4 bedroom'd house in Lapal.  

His siblings are all nice people too, for the most part. 

Sometimes, we'll bump into his old mates (very rarely obviously) - all still the same, doing the same shit - getting pissed, fighting, blah blah blah.  But they're 60 years old nearly. 

My long, and very boring point is..  It's all up to you Ruge.  You're the master of your own destiny.  You can make the change, or you can blame X, Y and Z and do the same stuff and make the same excuses.  It's never too late either.  Your kids love is and will be unconditional, until they turn 13 - then they can make their own opinions and choices.  If you tell them/show them bad choices, chances are - they will do them too. 

**** me how preachy am I?  Wish I'd take my own advice!   

Fai play to your  old man. People that come from absolutely nothing and make something of themselves get my respect because it's not easy. 

You've got a big heart my friend. 

[blandy]

2 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

You've got a big heart my friend. 

He clearly has. And so have you Ruge, that's obvious. Be well.