What is your experience of mental health?

[MCU]

Guys, not something I would usually bring up on here but I've been off work the past 2 months with depression/anxiety. Supervisor has been fine with me and wished me better but asked me last week if I was back tomorrow, and stupidly enough I said yes. 

However, I really can't bring myself to go back. It's getting to a point where I'm gonna have some serious panic attack or something. I was at Reading fest yesterday and it was on my mind all day which essentially ruined it. Today I'm even worse. 

The last doctor's note I had expired last Wednesday I believe so I've actually got nothing to cover me for a few days. I really don't know what to do but I can't be going tomorrow, I just feel like handing my notice in. Except, I've got a flat and bills to pay which is holding me back.

The doctor has been great with me, and I've been prescribed Sertraline (50MG) after starting on Flouxotine?(SP!) 

[MakemineVanilla]

1 hour ago, Warnock said:

Guys, not something I would usually bring up on here but I've been off work the past 2 months with depression/anxiety. Supervisor has been fine with me and wished me better but asked me last week if I was back tomorrow, and stupidly enough I said yes. 

However, I really can't bring myself to go back. It's getting to a point where I'm gonna have some serious panic attack or something. I was at Reading fest yesterday and it was on my mind all day which essentially ruined it. Today I'm even worse. 

The last doctor's note I had expired last Wednesday I believe so I've actually got nothing to cover me for a few days. I really don't know what to do but I can't be going tomorrow, I just feel like handing my notice in. Except, I've got a flat and bills to pay which is holding me back.

The doctor has been great with me, and I've been prescribed Sertraline (50MG) after starting on Flouxotine?(SP!) 

It sounds difficult.

My view would be that you should go to work BUT provide yourself with an escape route by giving yourself permission to leave at any point you find things unbearable.

To help you could mentally rehearse telling your boss that you 'need to go home because you feel unwell' - no need to explain in any detail.

You could tell them that diarrhoea is one of the side-effects of the medication you have been put on, which is true about Sertraline.

If you can successfully get through a day you might find your anxiety will become less.

Good luck!

Edited August 29, 2016 by MakemineVanilla

[Jon]

2 hours ago, MakemineVanilla said:

It sounds difficult.

My view would be that you should go to work BUT provide yourself with an escape route by giving yourself permission to leave at any point you find things unbearable.

 

Yep. Good call.  Or arrange that you're going on for only 1 hour on the first day, and stage it up. Better though to get to the root of your anxiety first 

[Chindie]

This could probably go in the work thread, but it's a bit of both.

I started a new job recently. Same industry, completely new product and market. I've been here 3 months or so. I don't feel comfortable with anything, with a constant feeling of being unsure of myself - I have a few things I've done which are ready to go yet I don't have the confidence in my conviction to just send them. I have to ask questions all the time, which I hate. I've had to travel a fair bit which I've not enjoyed, due to another condition I have. I have the pressure of a probation period. I've made a couple of errors today and yesterday and I honestly could have either burst into tears or packed my stuff up and never come back. Or smashed something. These errors aren't the biggest deal but still internally it was like I was psychologically stabbed.

I feel like there is something wrong with me. The job isn't difficult but I'm struggling in many ways. I actively dislike things about it because of these other problems. And I'm sure it must be showing. I feel constantly tired, constantly on the verge of anger, constantly frustrated.

But I don't know if that's something wrong in my head, just a part of my personality or just pressure of the job and other problems.

[choffer]

@Chindie you've just about summed up the last 20 years of my working life. It's either perfectly normal or you and me are screwed.

Edited September 13, 2016 by choffer

[Designer1]

@Chindie Sounds like you need a good chat with someone mate.

Have you spoke to a doctor about it all? Explain everything like you have in your post and see what advice they give you.

I certainly wouldn't let it fester.

[MakemineVanilla]

7 minutes ago, Chindie said:

This could probably go in the work thread, but it's a bit of both.

I started a new job recently. Same industry, completely new product and market. I've been here 3 months or so. I don't feel comfortable with anything, with a constant feeling of being unsure of myself - I have a few things I've done which are ready to go yet I don't have the confidence in my conviction to just send them. I have to ask questions all the time, which I hate. I've had to travel a fair bit which I've not enjoyed, due to another condition I have. I have the pressure of a probation period. I've made a couple of errors today and yesterday and I honestly could have either burst into tears or packed my stuff up and never come back. Or smashed something. These errors aren't the biggest deal but still internally it was like I was psychologically stabbed.

I feel like there is something wrong with me. The job isn't difficult but I'm struggling in many ways. I actively dislike things about it because of these other problems. And I'm sure it must be showing. I feel constantly tired, constantly on the verge of anger, constantly frustrated.

But I don't know if that's something wrong in my head, just a part of my personality or just pressure of the job and other problems.

Sounds well within the range of normal to me.

Check your internal dialogue and make sure you are not being too self-critical.

Mistakes are to be expected and you are new at the job, on a learning curve, slightly anxious at getting through the probation period - worry is good but don't over do it.

Read up on 'gumption traps' we all suffer them and you can learn to avoid them https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumption_trap

Quote

A gumption trap is an event or mindset that can cause a person to lose enthusiasm and become discouraged from starting or continuing a project.

Someone once said that the secret of life is learning to ask for help - so don't beat yourself up about asking your colleagues questions.

We've all been there, so good luck.

[Brumerican]

On 29/08/2016 at 14:32, Warnock said:

Guys, not something I would usually bring up on here but I've been off work the past 2 months with depression/anxiety. Supervisor has been fine with me and wished me better but asked me last week if I was back tomorrow, and stupidly enough I said yes. 

However, I really can't bring myself to go back. It's getting to a point where I'm gonna have some serious panic attack or something. I was at Reading fest yesterday and it was on my mind all day which essentially ruined it. Today I'm even worse. 

The last doctor's note I had expired last Wednesday I believe so I've actually got nothing to cover me for a few days. I really don't know what to do but I can't be going tomorrow, I just feel like handing my notice in. Except, I've got a flat and bills to pay which is holding me back.

The doctor has been great with me, and I've been prescribed Sertraline (50MG) after starting on Flouxotine?(SP!) 

Edited so I can give advice rather than focus on a crap joke.

If they dont work ask for mirtazipine .

You will have dreams so lucid you will swear for days that it really happened. 

Edited September 16, 2016 by Brumerican

[blandy]

12 minutes ago, Chindie said:

But I don't know if that's something wrong in my head, just a part of my personality or just pressure of the job and other problems.

None of those things (writes an idiot on a football forum). Here's why:

Quote

I started a new job recently....completely new product and market. ...so. I don't feel comfortable with anything, with a constant feeling of being unsure of myself - I have a few things I've done which are ready to go,... I have to ask questions all the time...I have the pressure of a probation period. I've made a couple of errors today and yesterday

Look at what you wrote. Imagine it's someone else who wrote that. They started a new job, it's different to the previous one. Ask yourself "will it take them a while to get to know the ropes"? you know the answer is yes. Ask yourself if they'll have to ask questions of people. The answer is "Yes, they will, and by doing so they will not only get information, they will also start to build recognition and understanding of the other people. Asking questions is good".

Ask yourself if they are likely to be error free in what they do in the early stages of this new job. The answer is no, they won't, and no one would expect them to be. That's why it's called a probation period. It's the period where people are learning and getting to know the ropes.

Ask yourself how this person's doing, when you see that  "this person has already done a  few things which are ready to go" - and if you're reasonable, you will acknowledge that's a good sign they are up to the task, though you'd be surprised if they didn't feel, still, a bit unsure as to how what they've done will be seen.

So in summary, there's nothing wrong, you're astonishingly normal, like everyone else. You're not special, you don't have super-powers, you make mistakes, you get concerned in strange situations, it takes you a while to get used to new things and new people, you're capable of learning and improving and are clearly doing that.

You have to travel a bit more than you'd like, but basically, meh! That's half the world. Make a decision to just ride along the next 3 months, relax a bit, just let it happen and see where you are in 3 months compared to now. No one's expecting you to be a gold medallist. It's just a job, you'll do it well because you're not an idiot. You're normal. If you get stuck, ask for help. If you've got something ready, but you're not quite sure, ask someone who looks friendly to spare 10 minutes to just let you see if they think it's along the right lines. They'll feel valued by you for seeking their advice. It'll be fine.

[Chindie]

It's more than the job. The job seems to just poke at it. My temper is on a hair trigger at the moment and even the smallest thing can have me having an internal spike of anger. The errors today aren't a big deal but the moment I got the email saying 'er this isn't right...' I had a palpable spike in my chest of rage at myself. Even things that really don't matter, away from the office, are spiking that ATM.

I'm constantly within seconds of being withdrawn and down and angry. I might have a fantastic morning then one thing wobbles that and I'll be in a foul mood for hours if not the rest of the day. My mind is constantly going second guessing myself. And I'm not getting much enjoyment on anything day to day.

[BOF]

Hello here from another idiot on a football forum.  @Chindie it almost sounds like anxiety with an added constant sense of foreboding.  My advise for the little that it's worth would be to chat to someone professional if you don't think it's getting any better, and before it gets worse.  Because it sounds like you're feeling like you're living a nightmare at the moment, even if your perception of the situation turns out to be slightly skewed towards the negative, the fact is that's the reality the way you feel it to be, and someone might be able to straighten it out in the way Pete has tried above.  The old cliché of don't suffer in silence.

[Chindie]

Thanks for the thoughts. I should talk to someone about things. I do feel quite down and morose. Doesn't help the anger.

I do have a fierce internal critic. I mentally beat myself over even trivial things try what I might to not do it. Which then fuels the other things. I do also suffer with anxiety.

I'll see if things improve.

[Xela]

Sounds like you could do with a break to be honest. have you got any holiday owing? Just have a week in the sun, or something you enjoy. Might sound trite, but it can help (it does for me)

[Jon]

On ‎13‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 20:09, Chindie said:

Thanks for the thoughts. I should talk to someone about things. I do feel quite down and morose. Doesn't help the anger.. I do also suffer with anxiety.

Late to the party here, but from what I've read Chinders, sounds like you may be suffering from some form of 'actual' depression.

Feeling 'down' - tick

Angry - tick

feeling little joy in anything - tick

anxiety - tick

I've been on citalopram for a while now, and it has helped. My anxiety was very much come and go. It's something I've had forever, so I've learnt to deal with it. But the other things were quite new to me. I didn't really see it myself, but my relationship was going down the pan due to it, especially the anger and joylessness.

I also tended to think a lot about death and dying, more so than I guess was healthy.

The above don't really lead to an overly pleasant existence, so my advice would be to visit your JeeePeeee for advice. They may advise tablets and/or counselling. Either or both would probably help!

 

[StefanAVFC]

I've faced my anxiety and I'm feeling much better but struggling to get the 'nothingness' of death out of my head. 

[Brumerican]

4 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

I've faced my anxiety and I'm feeling much better but struggling to get the 'nothingness' of death out of my head. 

Anything but nothingness would be eternal hell. 

The 14 billion years before I was born were quite relaxing IMO.

[Chindie]

8 hours ago, Jon said:

Late to the party here, but from what I've read Chinders, sounds like you may be suffering from some form of 'actual' depression.

Feeling 'down' - tick

Angry - tick

feeling little joy in anything - tick

anxiety - tick

I've been on citalopram for a while now, and it has helped. My anxiety was very much come and go. It's something I've had forever, so I've learnt to deal with it. But the other things were quite new to me. I didn't really see it myself, but my relationship was going down the pan due to it, especially the anger and joylessness.

I also tended to think a lot about death and dying, more so than I guess was healthy.

The above don't really lead to an overly pleasant existence, so my advice would be to visit your JeeePeeee for advice. They may advise tablets and/or counselling. Either or both would probably help!

 

Thanks. It's certainly crossed my mind a fair bit. I can see some similarities with you there.

I'll try to see someone about it.

[NurembergVillan]

5 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Thanks. It's certainly crossed my mind a fair bit. I can see some similarities with you there.

I'll try to see someone about it.

I'm with Jon, and would be a massive advocate of you seeing someone. If it were something you could see, like a patch of rash showed up every time you felt angry or stressed, you'd go to the doctor.  The trouble with stuff in our brains is that we can't see it so we try to write it off.

I once had depression described to me as "you're walking along the street with everyone else, when suddenly you drop down a manhole. You keep walking but you're in the dark, under the pavement, and you know everyone else is still walking the same direction, but they're up there in the daylight. You've then got a choice - look for a ladder to get you back up there - a GP, a counsellor, something to rebalance the chemicals, all of those - or you just keeping walking through the darkness, occasionally looking up for a glint of sunlight".

Hearing it described like that, I quickly went looking for the best ladders I could find. For me, CBT and Fluoxetine were the steps I needed to bring me back up to street level.

[NurembergVillan]

8 hours ago, Jon said:

Late to the party here, but from what I've read Chinders, sounds like you may be suffering from some form of 'actual' depression.

Feeling 'down' - tick

Angry - tick

feeling little joy in anything - tick

anxiety - tick

I've been on citalopram for a while now, and it has helped. My anxiety was very much come and go. It's something I've had forever, so I've learnt to deal with it. But the other things were quite new to me. I didn't really see it myself, but my relationship was going down the pan due to it, especially the anger and joylessness.

I also tended to think a lot about death and dying, more so than I guess was healthy.

The above don't really lead to an overly pleasant existence, so my advice would be to visit your JeeePeeee for advice. They may advise tablets and/or counselling. Either or both would probably help!

 

PS - as I'm back in Cheshire it's about time we had a pint...

[maqroll]

On August 29, 2016 at 09:32, Warnock said:

Guys, not something I would usually bring up on here but I've been off work the past 2 months with depression/anxiety. Supervisor has been fine with me and wished me better but asked me last week if I was back tomorrow, and stupidly enough I said yes. 

However, I really can't bring myself to go back. It's getting to a point where I'm gonna have some serious panic attack or something. I was at Reading fest yesterday and it was on my mind all day which essentially ruined it. Today I'm even worse. 

The last doctor's note I had expired last Wednesday I believe so I've actually got nothing to cover me for a few days. I really don't know what to do but I can't be going tomorrow, I just feel like handing my notice in. Except, I've got a flat and bills to pay which is holding me back.

The doctor has been great with me, and I've been prescribed Sertraline (50MG) after starting on Flouxotine?(SP!) 

sounds like you might have a touch of social anxiety, and of all the SSRI meds out there, sertraline is considered best for people with depression and social anxiety...hope things are working for you.

Edited September 17, 2016 by maqroll