Brumerican Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 19 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: Start my happy pills tonight. It's the second night away from the family home, and already a weight has been lifted from myself, and wife. I've been popping round after work to see kids, and just generally helping out. I bathed the kids tonight, whilst she went for a walk. She's happy that I'm taking steps to sort myself out, and she's excited about me getting better. She talks like I'm ill, which is weird. Having time to reflect and look at how I've been is giving me some thought. As I said, I already feel a weight lifted, but looking back, I've been a complete psychopath. I did feel myself tonight starting to lose my head , and start getting worked up. We both spoke about it whilst the kids were playing in the garden. I told her that I'd only been in the house an hour, and I could have fell out with her twice. What had she done? Absolutely nothing at all. I also felt myself getting frustrated with the kids, but I kept a lid on it. My wife said she felt a vibe off me that, all weren't too good tonight. Last night was great mind. She said maybe I'd stayed too long tonight, and that some days it might be best to not come round at all, or just nip in for 10 minutes and say a quick hello. We've never had a proper break, and I know this is going to be a proper break, and for once I actually want this break. The kids understand, and are taking it in their stride, I think. The house is definitely a better place without me there at the moment. I've had pills before, but never see them through. I'm determined to see them through now though, and I'm hoping it can lift this negativity that I've been living with for years. I've been on Mirtazipine on and off for years dude but in my experience no chemical will ever beat exercise . I used to hate getting up at 6am in the winter to go hill running during my Army days, but once you have finished and showered you'll feel fantastic . 5 aside is good too as it gives you a social element that doesn't involve booze. There may never be a full time cure for this but once you realise your brain is a bio computer you can figure out ways to "hack" yourself and make things a little easier. Good luck fella . Remember there are billions of us and we are all bloody winging it mate. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 I started running a few months back, and I felt great. Really got into it, then went back to my old ways and that was that. You can't beat getting up early in the morning. Best part of the day, especially on a weekend. You're right though mate, loads of people seem to be on something these days, just to get them through life. It's a crazy old world. I've never liked the idea of getting hooked on anti depressants, but got no choice at the moment. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 When I say no chemical beats exercise I'm not saying you should start doing squats at Glastonbury . In those situations I'd go the MDMA /THC route . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 3 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: Start my happy pills tonight. It's the second night away from the family home, and already a weight has been lifted from myself, and wife. I've been popping round after work to see kids, and just generally helping out. I bathed the kids tonight, whilst she went for a walk. She's happy that I'm taking steps to sort myself out, and she's excited about me getting better. She talks like I'm ill, which is weird. Might feel weird, but it sounds like it's true. Just because it's not a "normal" disease, doesn't mean it's not an illness. Good luck with the battle Ruge, and I second what Brumerican says, exercise is really **** good for you. It's helped me out of various ( minor ) funks. It just gets you feeling better. Remember those positive feelings you get from doing it. When you start recognising those darker moments at home, is it plausible to just get up and go for a walk? Or use an app like Headspace and practice 10 minutes of being quiet on your own somewhere. Whatever you find, I hope it works for you though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 20 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: I've had pills before, but never see them through. I'm determined to see them through now though, and I'm hoping it can lift this negativity that I've been living with for years. It may help. Some medications take up to three months to show change, so be patient and persistent if that's a route you want to take. Your doctor should tell you the ins and outs though. My biggest piece of advice would be to avoid man caving if you are struggling with this. Start talking to someone, finding a good psychologist (I'm assuming you can access one free of charge like we can here) who's interested in you as a person might change your life, and by that I mean your understanding of yourself and your relationship to the world, like anything you'll want to work with someone who's a good person and not just a qualified clinician. You mentioned your partner talks to you like you're ill and is excited about you getting better. She obviously cares for you and it wouldn't surprise me if she's experiencing a wealth of emotion because she wants you to be in a good place, and what's best for you. Just putting it out there that she might struggle with your anger, and may be pleased that you're seeking a remedy to what ails you. I just want to echo what VILLAMARV said, big hugs. I wish you the quality of life you envision for yourself and your family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 On 29/08/2018 at 00:21, Xann said: Don't stay with mates that get you hammered x Exactly what has happened and I've lost everything. Made a huge mistake on Friday and **** everything up. At an all time low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 4 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: At an all time low. Part of that will be the comedown from your intake. You'll have to grit your teeth through it and try steady your ship midweek. Don't make any drastic decisions whilst you're rocking emotionally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 On 02/09/2018 at 16:44, Rugeley Villa said: Exactly what has happened and I've lost everything. Made a huge mistake on Friday and **** everything up. At an all time low. Sorry to hear the news mate, hope you are doing OK now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 4 minutes ago, Xela said: Sorry to hear the news mate, hope you are doing OK now. I've lost her, but I'm seeing my kids everyday, which is the most important thing. Just trying to change for the better. Been at my mums for two weeks now, which is the longest break up we've ever had, I think. I'm doing alright though, mate. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillisGotUsUp Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Mirtazipine is not designed for long term use. It’s a suppressant and to be used for a few months. It slows you down and gets you to sleep if you take it twenty minutes before bed. Ive twice attempted suicide, resulting once in humiliation and then recovery then 5 years ago in a two day coma and a stay in a secure mental health unit under lock and key for my own safety and it wasn’t as bad as I feared. I coped, and found solace in the trouble that friends I never knew I had coming to see me. There is always tomorrow, I know that now. If ever anyone wants to talk I’m here. I could and will write a book about what I’ve been through and bounced back from. It’ll never leave me but I’ve learnt that the sun will rise. OK tomorrow might be shite agai;, but eventually it won’t be. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillisGotUsUp Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 On 02/09/2018 at 16:44, Rugeley Villa said: Exactly what has happened and I've lost everything. Made a huge mistake on Friday and **** everything up. At an all time low. I’m down the road if you want a chat. I won’t lecture you mate. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 I had a weird thing over the weekend. I think stress, in that it felt like really bad flu and my legs and arms hurt like the ache you get from flu. Is this stress do you think + cant sleep at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: I had a weird thing over the weekend. I think stress, in that it felt like really bad flu and my legs and arms hurt like the ache you get from flu. Is this stress do you think + cant sleep at all. Stress can do all types of things to your body. When I'm really stressed I get stomach pains. It literally can effect your whole body, mind, and spirit. Go the doctors though for a diagnosis. Edited September 10, 2018 by Rugeley Villa 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 14 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: Stress can do all types of things to your body. When I'm really stressed I get stomach pains. It literally can effect your whole body, mind, and spirit. Go the doctors though for a diagnosis. 9:40 am Tommorroew mate. We will see. Thanks for reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillisGotUsUp Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 Good luck with it Neil. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillisGotUsUp Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 Has he referred you for a scan? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 (edited) 11 hours ago, LillisGotUsUp said: Has he referred you for a scan? Bad Aids i'm afraid and a touch of Rickets but we all feared as much I suppose. Edited September 12, 2018 by Amsterdam_Neil_D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted September 12, 2018 Moderator Share Posted September 12, 2018 On 10/09/2018 at 13:45, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: I had a weird thing over the weekend. I think stress, in that it felt like really bad flu and my legs and arms hurt like the ache you get from flu. Is this stress do you think + cant sleep at all. Sounds about right for stress. What did the doctor have to say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 Said I am really ill mentally and physically for real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: Said I am really ill mentally and physically for real. HA! I knew you were mental ages ago. Sounds like a pretty shit Dr to me mate. I hope it all ends, with your anus exploding, whilst you have your back to someone making the first cut of their wedding cake. Lap x 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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