What is your experience of mental health?

[chrisp65]

I was a similar age before it all started to work out @Ingram85  You'll realise that's no age at all, once you're a bit older.

Being a grown up can be shit. I keep postponing it.

[maqroll]

I've been taking 10mg Escitalopram for the last several months. It's for depression, but for me it's particularly useful for anger and anxiety. I used to occasionally have mini panic attacks in public/social situations, which could be very embarrassing. Also, I used to have the occasional burst of rage, which is not a good look. The medication works by tampering primal response like anger or the fight/flight instinct. So it's helped in that regard, but at some cost. My sex drive is mediocre at best and I sometimes feel sedated with a noticeable decrease in cognitive function.  I recently started skipping days, but I've been having withdrawal brain zaps at night when I'm resting before sleep. It's like a painless electrical pulse throughout your body. One was so severe the other night that I bounced up right out of bed. My doctor didn't tell me about this...

SSRI's are a lifesaver in a way, just as benzos can be for short term relief. But both classes of drugs are also very powerful. I'm not sure I want to be on these a year from now.

Anyone else have SSRI withdrawal stories?

[Vive_La_Villa]

1 hour ago, maqroll said:

I've been taking 10mg Escitalopram for the last several months. It's for depression, but for me it's particularly useful for anger and anxiety. I used to occasionally have mini panic attacks in public/social situations, which could be very embarrassing. Also, I used to have the occasional burst of rage, which is not a good look. The medication works by tampering primal response like anger or the fight/flight instinct. So it's helped in that regard, but at some cost. My sex drive is mediocre at best and I sometimes feel sedated with a noticeable decrease in cognitive function.  I recently started skipping days, but I've been having withdrawal brain zaps at night when I'm resting before sleep. It's like a painless electrical pulse throughout your body. One was so severe the other night that I bounced up right out of bed. My doctor didn't tell me about this...

SSRI's are a lifesaver in a way, just as benzos can be for short term relief. But both classes of drugs are also very powerful. I'm not sure I want to be on these a year from now.

Anyone else have SSRI withdrawal stories?

Been on off for years now. My advise to anybody that is prescribed them is please only take as a last resort as you could end up dependant on them. 

Of course it depends on how bad your condition is. 

[Jon]

6 hours ago, maqroll said:

I recently started skipping days

Sounds exhausting.  

[tarjei]

Back on page 15 in this thread I made a post. Logging on today I was reminded of it as someone had hit the reaction button on it. Coincidentally it's exactly a year ago today. It feels like forever ago. So much has happened!

Back then I had hit rock-bottom, and I had just recently made an effort to make some needed changes. I had stopped drinking, gone to the doctor, the employment agency, started exercising, etc.  Since then it's been one step after another in the right direction. It's a bit difficult to remember what I came from, it feels so distant.

First off I started exercising, walking, hiking, and in general being active and getting lots of sunlight and fresh air each day. I needed something to entertain myself on my long walks so I started listening to audio books and podcasts. I came across Dr Robert Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy, and it was a revelation to me. It explained so much. My absent father and lack of male role models and subsequent adorning of females, my people-pleasing personality, my debilitating fear of rejection, and on and on. I think the most crucial aspect of it, was cluing me in to how afraid I have been all my life, and how I have let anxiety limit my life to the point where really, depression was inevitable. I started listening to podcasts by a lifecoach-type guy from New Zealand that delved deeper into the same subjects as the book, and the way he turned my perspective around, however subtle, was life changing. (they are freely available, so if anyone's interest is peaked let me know)

Instead of running in the opposite direction as soon as I felt anxious or fearful, stressed or nervous, I started seeing those feelings as a compass of where I could go next to improve myself, grow, learn and gain confidence.

I got in to a work program, a 80% position at the local paper. First as a photographer. The editor wanted me to try writing, and although my whole body resisted, I was writing stories within a couple weeks. Fast forward a few months and I had broken records at the paper on the amount of time people spent reading a story, as I had written a long portrait about a drug addict with bipolar disorder, and I wrote a piece where I tracked the recycling and garbage from our small city, out into the world. Now I'm so much more clued into the workings of our city and have gotten a large amount of good relationships in all areas of business and education through the work I've done. I feel like I am a part of something, not separate from it.

I started dating. I took a leap of faith and traveled to Hungary to stay with a girl I had only been to a couple of dates with. We had a great long weekend. In the end it didn't work out, but it was fun and exhilarating. I got a girlfriend later on, and for the first time ever I felt like there was an "us". I've been in relationships before, but I don't think I've ever opened up properly. Whereas before I thought I was devoid of feelings and unable to connect, now I saw that I was filled to the brim; I had just repressed it because of fear. The relationship ended a couple of months ago, but truly, it was the best experience I've had and I'm thankful for it.

Every autumn and winter since I was a teenager I have gotten heavily depressed. This year, after the relationship ended, I started feeling like I was about to dive into that black hole again. It was hard to fall asleep at night, work became a drain on my energy. It went on for a few weeks, getting progressively harder to go on. I started doing indoor sports climbing back in April. I signed up to a course by myself, and made a point of talking to and getting to know everyone at the course, for the simple reason that speaking to strangers have always terrified me. Turns out it was easy and most people there were relieved and happy to get to know new people. We became a close-knit group of complete strangers that went climbing 2-3 days a week, but as I could feel the seasonal depression coming on, I lost the will to go there, progression stalled, and I started feeling fear when I was climbing. In a moment of clarity I decided I would go all-in and focus everything on making progressions as a climber. Eating, sleeping and cardio, strength and mobility exercising was now all about becoming a better climber. I think that made a big difference. The stress that had built up and my need for isolation vanished, as I focused my all on one thing that made me happy.

I think that will be an important thing to remember for me going forward. I recently read Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and I wholeheartedly agree that it's important to chose a limited amount of things in your life that you care about, and then let go of the rest, and especially, to let go of the things you can't control, and shake the negative feelings they bring - to stop that feedback loop of where you tell yourself all the things you need to be great at, and then punish yourself every time you diverge from the plan of becoming this perfect being that can do everything. Focusing in on climbing, I could put my head on the pillow at night and retrace my last session, plan my next day, and think of the problems I could solve in the future, and feel asleep before I got that far. When work felt hard, I could look at my hands and my calluses and blisters, feel the strain the last session had on my forearm tendons, and the stress would melt away in doing so.

Going forward the work program will end in March, but it looks like it will be extended to June. I've gotten an offer of a 40% position at a new startup firm that profiles and does content marketing for local food producers (and is expanding in to other areas of business). I will combine it with my work at the paper. I'm also working with a local beer brewery here and a firm that does closed water heating- and cooling systems, and it might just be that I'm working full time by the time the work program is completed. Exciting times!

Anti-depressive drugs never had an effect on me. And I think that's important to realize that depression is usually the symptom of something else. It's easy to think "I am this way", or "I am prone to this", and that's how it is. But I think often people are stuck in a pattern of thinking and behaving that limits them, and that they can't recognize or get out of themselves. I was lucky to find literature that helped me. Others might need a psychologist to find that outside perspective.

I've learned a lot about myself since this last year. I think the most important thing is that I need to approach anxiety like it's a tool for growth. I need to express my feeling, and not let them simmer inside of me and morph into something else. I also need to be okay with my imperfections and take ownership of my life situation and all the ways that I'm vulnerable. Nobody is prefect, and people don't like those that try to be, or those that attempt to hide in plain sight. I have a long way to go still, but I look at myself now and I laugh a bit, because I'm weird and it's funny and that's okay.

[VILLAMARV]

"If you're going through Hell, keep going"

[Demitri_C]

23 hours ago, Ingram85 said:

 

Im 32 now, 33 in a few months, I’m supposed to have all this crap figured out by now aren’t I? I wanted a couple of kids by now, it’s gonna be at least a few more years at least until I get there. I’ll be 35+ by then. 

Feels like a few years ago I was heading in the right direction, got engaged, bought a home etc... it’s all gone tits up the last 18 months and I’ll readily admit that I’m properly properly struggling to cope with everything.

Mate I am 35 and havent had any yet dont worry too much about this just yet. It will happen you just need to believe in yourself more 

[Demitri_C]

I fortunately have never suffered depression although I have had tough stages in my life. But someone I know that suffered greatly with anxiety and depression went and saw a hypnotist. they swear it has transformed their life and tehy ahve not had an episode since.

Maybe a option? I am no expert but if i suffered I think i would preffer at least trying that as opposed to shitty anti depressants 

[Demitri_C]

On 1/22/2018 at 09:03, StefanAVFC said:

I've had my battles with anxiety in the past, but never depression.

I'm just feeling really down at the moment. 2 aspects to it really.

1) Personal. I broke up with my long term gf. And since, I can't open up to anybody. People moan about being single because they can't meet anybody but I don't have that problem. I meet them, I like them, they like me. But after my ex (who i feel I wasted 2.5 years with) I'm scared to jump in and waste more time, and make the wrong decision again. Also, she is giving me grief constantly, after not speaking with me for months, about pictures of us on social media. She's demanding I delete everything; I don't really care about this, it's more the principle of having to go through everything on MY profile, because her new fella is jealous. If he doesn't like it, don't go on my profile. Urgh, she made a huge deal out of social media when we were together and is still doing it now.

Anyway, her behaviour has made my closed-feeling even stronger and I feel like I can't get through it.

2) Professional. Corporate life is just bogging me down. It's all so fake and forced. I got to management level 6 months ago, but I feel I'm back to the bottom of the ladder with ops above me, then senior ops, then heads of lines of business. This moan will make me sound super entitled but it's just symptomatic of my work life.

At my work, like in any company, there are awards, at various levels. Twice, I have been nominated for a higher level award by my manager and twice they award has been knocked down to the lowest level without telling anyone. I had a management event on friday, and they presented the awards, so I received this low award in front of everyone. Then all night I had people congratulating me and I just felt cheated, yet again. Also, the lowest level managers just get dumped on with stupid ideas and initiatives.

I just feel like I want to go somewhere else again. A clean break from everything. I'm young enough to do it, nothing is keeping me here but I already did it and I don't think I have the guts to do it again.

Sorry for my rant but I just feel so down lately and want to shake it off.

Sorry stefan late to the party 

I jsut wanted to ask why the feck this person can still see your profile? she sounds like my ex a complete control freak. Why is her ex even looking at your profile does he not have anything better to do than try bring you down? My ex tried this with and my reply was my profile i delete them when I  want. You dont tell me what to do anymore then I just deleted her

Do what you want and dont let others dictate your life. we might not agree on a lot of things on certain subjects but you seem like a bright lad that has a hell of a lot going for him.  

 

 

[Jon]

11 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

as opposed to shitty anti depressants 

Nice one.  

They are a godsend for a lot of people.  Sometimes when the wiring in the brain is a bit broken, it needs some remedial help.  ADs can be that help.  Not the ONLY help, but they can and do work four thousands. 

[choffer]

21 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

Mate I am 35 and havent had any yet dont worry too much about this just yet. It will happen you just need to believe in yourself more 

44.

 

Any advance?

Edited January 26, 2018 by choffer

[Rugeley Villa]

I'm not against anti depressants or anything like that to keep yourself normal, but I've always tried my hardest to avoid taking them. I've been on them twice, and quickly came off them. I just don't want to rely on stuff like that. I know plenty of people who can't get by without them. I had a bit of a bad spell a few months back, but I got through it in the end without counselling or pills. Those issues are still there, but they are being suppressed naturally. My wife is trying to come off hers. 

[Demitri_C]

1 hour ago, Jon said:

Nice one.  

They are a godsend for a lot of people.  Sometimes when the wiring in the brain is a bit broken, it needs some remedial help.  ADs can be that help.  Not the ONLY help, but they can and do work four thousands. 

They may be but I can only speak on the people I know who take them and its not helped them in fact made them feel worse and suffered side effects.

I dont like them thats my opinion.

1 hour ago, choffer said:

44.

 

Any advance?

My grandad was 51 and had a son

Edited January 26, 2018 by Demitri_C

[Xela]

On 1/22/2018 at 09:03, StefanAVFC said:

I've had my battles with anxiety in the past, but never depression.

I'm just feeling really down at the moment. 2 aspects to it really.

1) Personal. I broke up with my long term gf. And since, I can't open up to anybody. People moan about being single because they can't meet anybody but I don't have that problem. I meet them, I like them, they like me. But after my ex (who i feel I wasted 2.5 years with) I'm scared to jump in and waste more time, and make the wrong decision again. Also, she is giving me grief constantly, after not speaking with me for months, about pictures of us on social media. She's demanding I delete everything; I don't really care about this, it's more the principle of having to go through everything on MY profile, because her new fella is jealous. If he doesn't like it, don't go on my profile. Urgh, she made a huge deal out of social media when we were together and is still doing it now.

 

Keep strong brother!

Going on point 1, social media is a bugbear of mine. A lot of people, mainly women, are obsessed by it and it can't be good for your mental health. I made the conscious decision to remove myself from it years ago. It just used to make me angry. As mad as it sounds but I wouldn't date a woman who was constantly on it. 

Regarding your scenario, don't feel forced to remove stuff off your profile. Just block her and her partner so they can't see it. Their insecurity issues shouldn't be pushed onto you. 

[Rugeley Villa]

I've been suffering with a touch of anxiety for a few weeks, probably months. Yesterday when I got in from work, I was sat on the sofa talking to my mum, and I just had this awful feeling that started at the pit of my stomach, and went to my head. It weren't painful, but it was like an awful sense of doom. It lasted a few seconds then went away. When I went to bed, I had it again, but then it made me panic, and I started getting in a bit of a state. It happened a couple of more times whilst in bed. Managed to forget it , and nod off, but I never slept well because of it. My wife has had the same feeling on and off for years. I had it again this morning before I went running, but not since. It really is an awful feeling. Hope it doesn't persist.

[wazzap24]

On 25/01/2018 at 21:47, chrisp65 said:

I was a similar age before it all started to work out @Ingram85  You'll realise that's no age at all, once you're a bit older.

Being a grown up can be shit. I keep postponing it.

I'd made it to 37, with a wife,two kids, house, decent career, etc etc without ever feeling like a 'grown up' at all.  No plan, nothing figured out, I just rolled with it and things always  kinda worked out ok. Ups and downs, but no major dramas. 

Then my mum died last autumn and the world changed. Stuff I didn't think I'd be dealing with for a right good few years, coming at me from nowhere. I suddenly felt like a grown up then and now I feel like it's aged me 20 years in 6 months. Postpone it as long as you can! 

[Vive_La_Villa]

I'm listening to an audiobook on depression called Lost connections. It's going against everything I have ever believed about anti-depressants and apparently backed up by studies that have been kept quiet and debunked by large pharmaceutical companies. In particular regarding SSRI's that make billions for them with the General theme being they are mainly placebo affect. 

I don't know what to think anymore. 

 

[Rugeley Villa]

14 minutes ago, Vive_La_Villa said:

I'm listening to an audiobook on depression called Lost connections. It's going against everything I have ever believed about anti-depressants and apparently backed up by studies that have been kept quiet and debunked by large pharmaceutical companies. In particular regarding SSRI's that make billions for them with the General theme being they are mainly placebo affect. 

I don't know what to think anymore. 

 

My missus mum has stopped taking her anti depressants. They were jumbling her head up bad, so after years of taking them, she's gradually came off them, and feels a lot better. My missus is trying to do the same. 

[coda]

11 minutes ago, Vive_La_Villa said:

I'm listening to an audiobook on depression called Lost connections. It's going against everything I have ever believed about anti-depressants and apparently backed up by studies that have been kept quiet and debunked by large pharmaceutical companies. In particular regarding SSRI's that make billions for them with the General theme being they are mainly placebo affect. 

I don't know what to think anymore. 

 

I haven't read the book but the author's a bit dodgy. 

[Ingram85]

Like anything, it works for some and doesn’t for others. Some people react positively to ECT some don’t, some prefer Talking therapies some don’t. 

Medication does work for a lot of people, I work with people who when on them are the nicest and the personality change when off them is too much to be a placebo affect. 

However, what I have seen is that consultants rely on them way way too much and it’s sickening how much the management at a national level are cosied up to the directors and execs at the pharmaceutical companies, a lot of money changing hands and it’s ruining the lives of a lot of people who are pumped full of them for way too long instead of using them to steady the ship and then look at cognitive and alternative therapy. 

Theres a reason the nhs execs, consultants and pharmacy guys are on the big wonga, looking after each other I think. Getting stinking rich on the back of patients psychosis.