Redtyke

The first 2 lines would indicate a premature reaction

People make a town. Granted its not a pretty place Its not Hollywood, it has some very unsavoury parts, much like any town and city in the country It was destroyed by the closure of all major industries, coal, steel, glass. Unemployment is rife, drugs are evrywhere, the youngsters have no future Yes it is down-but not out The people are indeed lovely and will help anyone. Except Leeds fans of course Shit hole it may seem to the uninitiated but as Barnsley folk we are immensley proud of our town and it's heritage

James Bree I was hoping nobody would ask! You need to keep clear of this one, he has the vision of Long John Silver (the same left foot ability as well) He couldn't trap a bag of sand, as for speed he does 0 to 20 in half an hour. He can't tackle, can't head a ball, is far too young to play above U14 level, he also has acne and a bad attitude Don't waste your money, we'll see he's well looked after despite all his issues.

Thanks dont_do_it_doug, I work in the North midlands (with some Villa fans) and they are always saying I need a translator Still can't fathom why my colleague Jason (Jase to me) refers to himself as "joyce" or joyceson Edit: He's a Baggie though

Chuff me and me dripping sarnie, I'm blushing now!

Music Man by by (shudder!!!) Black Lace

Hi Zatman, we are quite pragmatic about it, in the past we've had nobody worth selling but we now have a great academy, we have a purpose built 3,000 seater stadium just for the academy and u-18s etc. We have a scouting system who do not dismiss any player who are lower league we have produced John Stones, Mason Holgate, Alfie Mawson, Sam Winnall, now we have James Bree, Conor Hourihane, all in the last 3 years. Centre back Roberts being sniffed around by West Brom at 8 million, (we got him from non league Halifax for nowt) Only ever played professional a few games at L1 level and this year at CH level In the top 5 centre backs in the league now. Jackson centre back only played 26 games professionally in L2 before joining us, developing superbly McDonald centre back signed from non league Torquay, never played league football professionally, becoming a great centre back attracting 3 million interest from Norwich Good scouting and the right way of teaching these players is our business model and at the moment it is producing dividends. We can't afford to pay 12 million for a flop!

Yes he does have a song. Took us ages to memorise it lol It goes like this: Houri...Houri.......Hourihane, Hourihane, Hourihane! I had to write it down in the end

Hi all you villains Just thought I'd give you my thoughts on the imminent transfer of our most gifted player into your ranks. Conor has been the best signing we have made in decades when we pinched him from Plymouth. His vision is superb, his attitude immense (if you can get the video of the Leeds match in full you will see him launching into a team mate who sold him short, I kid you not his neck veins are half an inch thick in his rant.) He does not suffer fools and non performers. When we first got him he used that wand of a left foot to great effect, but not much else (in terms of getting involved in defensive duties) Since then he has been taught how to tackle as well, that it is ALL the teams responsibility to throw themselves in, and he has become a much better all round player for it. He's now not afraid to get stuck in (hence his booking yesterday) You've bought a gem, and usually you'll get some rancour and sour grapes from the team you get them from, but in this case we wish Conor all the very best. We know Barnsley is a small club with a small fan base surrounded by much bigger teams, we live with that, we cannot match your spending power nor wage payments. If Conor turns out for you guys next season at Oakwell, he will be warmly applauded, he has been a huge part of our achievements in the last 60 weeks, bottom of league 1 to Wembley winners twice in one season and promotion to the Championship, plus in 8th place at the moment. I'll never see a repeat of that but as he plays for you I will always take a keen interest in his performances Thanks Conor for the memories, you will become the favourite at Villa Park just as you did at Oakwell

Hi all you villains Just thought I'd give you my thoughts on the imminent transfer of our most gifted player into your ranks. Conor has been the best signing we have made in decades when we pinched him from Plymouth. His vision is superb, his attitude immense (if you can get the video of the Leeds match in full you will see him launching into a team mate who sold him short, I kid you not his neck veins are half an inch thick in his rant.) He does not suffer fools and non performers. When we first got him he used that wand of a left foot to great effect, but not much else. Since then he has been taught how to tackle as well, that it is ALL the teams responsibility to throw themselves in, and he has become a much better all round player for it. He's now not afraid to get stuck in (hence his booking yesterday) You've bought a gem, and usually you'll get some rancour and sour grapes from the team you get them from, but in this case we wish Conor all the very best. We know Barnsley is a small club with a small fan base surrounded by much bigger teams, we live with that, we cannot match your spending power nor wage payments. If Conor turns out for you guys next season at Oakwell, he will be warmly applauded, he has been a huge part of our achievements in the last 60 weeks, bottom of league 1 to Wembley winners twice in one season and promotion to the Championship, plus in 8th place at the moment. I'll never see a repeat of that but as he plays for you I will always take a keen interest in his performances Thanks Conor for the memories, you will become the favourite at Villa Park just as you did at Oakwell