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Shomin Geki

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About Shomin Geki

  • Birthday 29/01/1983

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  1. I feel a little bad playing along because I'm not the most active poster anymore, but... I'm a diligent player and I like it very much. Is there space for me? Or is the format of the league unable to accommodate?
  2. A thoroughly, thoroughly professional performance. Having a clear sense of organisation and approach gives us so much more presence on the pitch. 'Resilience' isn't a word that's been synonymous with Villa for quite some time but that's absolutely what we were. For Emery to achieve this in a matter of weeks is impressive and exciting. I thought we reduced Brighton to what they appear to be, from my ever so casual eye: a clever, neat, but essentially very ordinary football side. Most of that was down to a sorely missed sense of order and players given the confidence to absolutely commit to their command. Very heartening. TODAY'S PLAYER RATINGS (season's average in here) MARTINEZ 7 (6.6) Brighton pressed but never pierced our backline and Martinez did almost everything right, standing stoutly behind our formidable defence. Science may wish to study his ability to stretch and manipulate time. MINGS 7 (6.85) Some shaky moments early on were superseded by Mings calming down, not getting too agitated, and rediscovering his head. Mings managed himself well, if that makes sense. KONSA 8 (6) Another excellent performance. Classic Konsa in a way, measured, timely, composed and intelligent with the minimum fuss. Mopped up everything, doing the little things but getting virtually every little thing right. DIGNE 7 (5.78) Quietly commanding on the left flank, frustrating Brighton time and time again. A lapse in concentration for the penalty incident. CASH 7 (6) Fought earnestly, as he always does, and part of an impressively organised defensive performance, but would have liked to have seen a bit more of the surge he provided moments before Ings's decisive winner. KAMARA 8 (6.63) Composure personified. So calm, assured and organised the guy should, and almost certainly could, play in a tux. An obvious gem. LUIZ 6 (6.31) Pretty quiet today although we're much tidier when he's on the pitch. Made up for the looseness of the first goal (that was probably more Martinez's fault) with a crucial challenge for the winning goal. A worthy vindication. MCGINN 6 (4.8) Amidst the missing periods, incomplete passes and general sense of pointlessness at least got himself around the pitch a bit. A few moments of choice arsework towards the end. BUENDIA 6 (5.79) Not his day today. In certain formations and with particular personnel Buendia really hums. But he can sometimes seem a little disconnected from everyone else. I'm still a big fan but it's fair to expect a little more at times. RAMSAY 6 (5.8) Played a little within himself today. Perhaps isn't going to thrive if Emery's given approach is more of a neutering, containing one. He can't be the Boy Wonder every week. INGS 8 (6.18) Much more than his two goals today, this was a classic attacking spearhead performance from Old Man Ings, full of lovely touches and telling interventions. Lead the line, a real focal point at all times, played like he'd seen it all. Reassuring that we can still get a very good return from legs that aren't quite still there. YOUNG 7 (6.5) Quickly becoming a reassuring sight. Which is slightly surprising but very welcome. OTHER SUBS N/A (Fort well held by all)
  3. Considering the four films you've listed here it seems you're up for pretty much anything, so I'll try for some deeper cuts. I'll try not to duplicate any from Designer's list. The Swarm and Coming Home in the Dark are probably the best horror films I've seen from recent years, although we're stretching the definition a little here. Both are maybe a bit too sober and severe, the former with elements an eco horror with elements of a creature feature and some grim body horror. The latter is a straighter brutal thriller, but memorably horrible. In the 'Is this really horror?' field I also really liked She Dies Tomorrow. Resurrection rather stunningly 'commits to the bit' where you think it might break into more obvious territory, anchored by an absolutely committed Rebecca Hall, becoming a bit of an unexpected horror maven with this and the merely alright The Night House. For something lower budget with more of an indie film feel The Beach House has a keen sense of the uncanny with little whispers of cosmic horror becoming increasingly incessant. More conventional genre thrills are to be found in the surprisingly good Underwater, which received bafflingly bad reviews a couple of years ago. It ramps things up very pleasingly at its climax. I like a good horror anthology and of the modern ones I'm a fan of the VHS series, particularly the first one. The newest one, VHS 94 has some excellent entries, and manages to mix the blackly amusing with the viscerally unpleasant. The pick of the bunch though would be Southbound, which moves at a real pace, and with the help of a really satisfying wrap story/framing device has the kind of thrilling momentum it can be hard to find in the portmanteau format. As a horror afficionado you'll probably already know if the Terrifier films are your bag or not. If you want to show off your 'obscure film' bona-fides why not give Lake of the Dead a go? A Norwegian horror from the late fifties, it's part Agatha Christie, part Henry James, and features some oddly nightmarish daylit, nature-set spookiness. A keen maunder of morbidity can be found in Carnival of Souls, perhaps the first example of a now overdone trope, and the sad, autumnal Seance on a Wet Afternoon complicates a triptych of somewhat 'repressed' horrors. Also strikingly visual are some Japanese horror films from the 60s: Onibaba being my favourite, Kuroneko, Kwaidan and Jigoku, definitely one of the first films with proper gore effects, also good. Back in obscure film world, Matango AKA Attack of the Mushroom People, is a fun one to talk about at parties. If you're after grim 70s American horror off the beaten track Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Messiah of Evil and God Told Me To can scratch that itch. From the same decade I really like really weird film The Shout, a British film from Polish director Jerzy Skolimowski about a man who, it is claimed, has literally acquired the ability to 'shout' people to death. If you enjoyed Suspiria and Deep Red some deeper Italian horror cuts are the dreamy Footprints on the Moon, the savage Don't Torture A Duckling, and the sinister nighttime conspiracies of The Short Night of the Glass Dolls. A little beyond its prime Michele Soavi promised to inject a bit of fire into Italian horror's veins. His pomp was short lived but Stagefright, The Church and, in particular, Cemetary Man, are a lot of fun. Nobody's mentioned Possession yet right? You've seen Possession, right? Oh boy. Other real horror experiences would be the depressing but horribly compelling Angst, and the very nasty In A Glass Cage. Have you seen any Kiyoshi Kurosawa films? Cure is my favourite, Pulse the one everyone always mentions, and Retribution very good too. From that neck of the woods there's also the Korean horrors A Tale of Two Sisters and Taiwanese 'sins of the past' reality-bender Detention, starring the very good but very inappropriately-named Gingle Wang. Of the more recent horror films from a little further back I would recommend Confessions, a sick little Japanese revenge piece, the nightmare escalation of the surprisingly excellent Triangle, the sad 'precariat' horror of The Innkeepers, the twin Giallo homages of Amer and Knife + Heart, the freezing arthouse absurdities of Far Eastern European Bad Trips November and The Temptation of St Tony (you'll know if you want to see these two), the small town, 16mm blast of bleakness (and surprising tenderness) I Am Not A Serial Killer, and the time-warping rides of Coherence and the unexpectedly fun +1. There are plenty more to recommend and I can return for another bout at some later date, but it would be remiss of me not to mention Larry Fessenden's vampire addiction parable Habit as it's my good lady's favourite film. I'm more of a The Addiction fan, but hey... hope this is all of some assistance.
  4. What a day! Had an absolute blast. Give a great bunch of lads a sense of purpose and direction and watch them thrive. TODAY'S PLAYER RATINGS (season average afterwards) MARTINEZ 8 (6.5) An absolute rock. Has probably wasted a game's worth of minutes already this season. MINGS 9 (6.83) Thought he was absolutely outstanding today. Dominant, urgent, and with a little classy swashbuckling thrown in too. Won everything and was hungry for more. Obviously such commitment and swagger would be completely useless at a major international footballing tournament. KONSA 8 (5.86) The assured by-the-book Good Cop to Mings's heartthrob maverick, Konsa today was calm, incisive and intelligent. It's good to have the old Konsa back. It's great to have the boys properly back together. CASH 7 (6) Effectively marshalled the right side of defense all game. There's something of a newfound seniority about Cash of late. I very much hope he can spike the old sweat-gargling, every-game-a-marathon Cash into this emerging maturity. DIGNE 7 (5.6) A lovely free-kick was the prettiest bow atop a winningly calming, measured, neat performance. Clearly loved setting Villa Park alight. LUIZ 8 (6.33) Key to our organisation, with just about the right balance of bite and flow to his game. Dependable and authoritative. DENDONCKER 7 (5.33) Some floppy moments where he seemed to lack a bit of awareness, but was everywhere today. Put in a mighty shift, but hard to see him contributing a huge amount once Kamara gets back up to speed. Vital to our shape today. RAMSAY 9 (5.79) Following some hapless performances under the other bloke was great to see our boy once again charging towards his seeming destiny as a proper Complete Player. Tenacious covering, thrilling sprints with the ball, impeccable late charges into the box, devastating finishing. Our collective pulse quickens when Ramsey is in full flow. BUENDIA 7 (5.77) Still not at his tight, metronomic best, with a few too many loose balls today. Nonetheless, displayed an infectious, endless energy all game, his terrier attitude crucial in not letting the potential sucker punch of a late-half goal deflate us. His imperious best is surely not too far away. BAILEY 8 (5.38) Smouldered today. Fire in his boots. Today showed what Bailey is capable of: Red hot one minute, cool as nice the next. Yet another play I can't wait to watch truly explode. WATKINS 8 (5.38) That's much more like it! More than a few defense-scaring dashes today, with some really handy hold up play too. The nervy Watkins of a few weeks back doesn't even see Ramsay for the cut back. The sheer volume of space Watkins can be effective in is a real asset. Never gonna be a stone-cold killer, let's hope the smarts of Emery optimises the many positives in his all-round game. INGS 6 (6) YOUNG 6 (6.44) MCGINN 6 (4.43) KAMARA 7 (6.43) Saw out the game with an already reliable casual expertise.
  5. Incredible how the footballing IQ of all the players skyrocketed unburdened by having to do stupid things. Players with a lot to prove proved it very handily. A mighty fine day indeed! TODAY'S PLAYER RATINGS (season average in here) MARTINEZ 7 (6.33) Largely untroubled, but nonetheless solid. The penalty area, after a shaky couple of weeks, very much belonged to him. His turf. Arms once more seemed enormous. MINGS 8 (6.7) After a pretty calamitous two-game streak looked fate in the eye and said "I'm having some of that". A contagiously sweeping performance. KONSA 7 (5.75) Slowly but surely we seem to be getting our boy back. Intelligent but vital low-key interventions aplenty: the Konsa we know. CASH 7 (6) Cash will run through walls for you. Under Gerrard the walls seemed to win more often than not. You can't run forever with nowhere to go and not get a little lost. He's not quite there yet, but seemed to relish his enterprise having a purpose. YOUNG 8 (6.86) He's roughly my age but something tells me he'd lap me twice in an 800 metres race. Indefatigable, authorial, inspirational. What struck me today, apart from his absurd energy, was his sense of timing. Knows when to get stuck in, when to cool things down and when to keep it straightforward. DENDONCKER 7 (5.5) With a strange gait and an almost wobbly running style it sometimes seems like Leo is playing half-cut. I've struggled to warm to him so far, likely unfairly, but was essential to the organisation and bite of today's midfield. LUIZ 8 (6.3) Absolutely committed, a bit box-to-boxy, alternatively silky and fierce. If today had the feeling of the band getting back together and realising how good they can play, Luiz was practically the entire rhythm section. BUENDIA 8 (5.64) Says so much about Buendia that in spite of much of what he's known for not quite coming off, his tenacity and busyness made such frustrations largely irrelevant. Everywhere today. The rebirth begins here. BAILEY 8 (5.27) Looked a different player out there. From hapless and lost mere days ago, Bailey today looked potent, dangerous and, perhaps most assuring of all, composed. More of that please. WATKINS 7 (5.18) Still a little shaky and timid, but where Watkins might previously have let it get to him, today he persevered, tried, tried and tried again, and finally got that all important goal. Which clearly meant the world to him. INGS 8 (6) A wily old pro today. Effortlessly deadly, with some classy link up play, Ings operated like someone who still thinks like an elite player even though his body isn't quite there anymore. That operation paid dividends today. MCGINN 6 (4.5) Not appalling!! COUTINHO 5 (5.25) You can't have it all, can you? All other subs N/A.
  6. There doesn't really feel like there's any adequate response to football like this. Circumstances like this. We had Grealish and Smith not much longer than a year ago and the wind seemed in our sails. The waters were choppy but there was something about us, whether it was the spirit of the crew or a fundamentally sound vessel. We don't seem to have any of these things now. The choice, it would seem to me, is to decide whether our present circumstance can be treated as an aberration or a culmination of everything that's lead here. I dearly hope it's the former. The former, however, necessitates the kind of boldness, intelligence and conviction that seem currently alien to the club. Let's see if they've still got, eh? And as vitriolic as I've been about Gerrard, and everyone has, all very much deserved, whilst taking a step back there's something quite sad about the whole situation. I've always loved football, playing it and watching it, and whilst I was never the best player on the pitch I felt I had a decent understanding of its dynamics and requirements. Eventually a chronic injury was discovered that, unbeknownst to me, has kept me from playing any kind of football at all. But the time spent on the sidelines encouraged me to really watch the game carefully, read about it, colour in parts of my knowledge that were, in retrospect, quite spare. There was a lot I, as a 'marauding left back with an engine', didn't even begin to appreciate about the game. I find your knowledge of the game can be quite defined by the position you play in. I was determined to come back stronger, armed with all this tactical and intellectual nous, and add it to my game. I had a real hunger. Now, I've never played at any real level at all, but like all of you I would imagine, there's a dignity, an art, to the game that's, for want of a less cliched phrase, good for the soul. Every game is important. I lasted one game back before it was obvious how terminal my injury was and I haven't played since and never properly will. But that hunger, that desire to fuse my physical and intellectual understanding of the game, is something I still find quite striking. It's how I imagine former players must feel when they find themselves in the dug-out. There's unfinished business. There's still a fire in the tummy. You still kick, as they say, every ball. Now, Steven Gerrard has had a playing career full of drama, if nothing else. A dazzlingly exciting player, that, with the exception of one very odd night in Istanbul, didn't taste much bona fide success. That's in spite of being the hero of his boyhood club, the cut and thrust of a 'golden generation' of a national side, and coming of age at a time when the English game was evolving massively in both proficiency and popularity. Gerrard must have seen the imports that made that happen, that heralded the Premier League 'the greatest league in the world', out-achieve him. Maybe it baffled him. Nobody ran as much, nobody sprinted towards goal like him, nobody 'wanted' it more. And yet there they were, better trained, better schooled, better coached, more sophisticated and measured, more intelligent and visionary, lifting trophies and getting their moves to giant clubs and lifting more trophies. Now Stevie G isn't an idiot, and not for want of trying, he's still managed to retain a certain fondness among the general football-loving public. There grew something more reflective about him, even maybe a little melancholic or sanguine, in his final years as a player. As if he realised, somewhere, that his playing style, his gung-ho army of one approach wasn't 'The Answer'. That there was more to this game. That what he himself was doing wasn't... enough. Business was unfinished. He'd have to be shrewder, wiser, more cultured and reflective, like those clever foreign lads that seemed to be... better... than him. And this is how it ends. Before it really gets started. Dogshit football barely motivated by the slightest of motivational cliches. That better, greater football that Gerrard was too busy running through to ever properly notice, that you thought maybe he'd reflected upon as his legs stopped doing what they do, that seems to remain a mystery. Maybe even an enemy? He didn't learn. He's either still running about in his head, thinking every player on the pitch can run like him, 'want it' like him. Or maybe he's stopped running and he's tired and worn and resentful. The chase never found itself anywhere substantial. And Steven Gerrard finds himself lonely on the Aston Villa sidelines not noticing patterns, not working things out, not attuned to player's dynamics, but still oddly occupied, but occupied with creating this imaginary finishing line, with the cheers and the champagne and the hugs, that all his running deserved. And all he can do is repeat mantras he might have imagined if he'd been managing himself back in the day. Managing himself to this moment. Where he seems not to accept the truth in front of him. Nor want to see it. I'm very disappointed, perhaps even angry at where Aston Villa are right now, but there's also something really sad about the whole thing. Is this all there is? TODAY'S PLAYER RATINGS FOR STEVEN GERRARD'S ASTON VILLA (season average afterwards) MARTINEZ 6 (6.55) You wonder what he might be thinking, spectator that he is of late? Enough of a professional you would hope that he can see these relatively easy matches are the calm before the storm of the harder ones and won't let himself drift away with the mundanity of it all. MINGS 7 (7.14) Decent again, totally consistent, reassuring so, but... had a slightly nasty undercurrent to his game today. Feel there might be a naughty challenge, borne maybe of frustration, or apathy, in the not too distant future. That Mings is not your friend. KONSA 6 (5.55) Kept the rampaging, dagger-toothed wolves of Nottingham at bay. Still looking woolly and eminently bullyable. CASH 6 (6.14) Back, and after a pleasing initial jolt when reminded of his energy and enthusiasm, settled into a familiar sweaty ineffectiveness. YOUNG 7 (7) That old cliche about a team of James Milners? What does it say about Steven Gerrard's Aston Villa that we'd probably be better off with a team of 37 year old Ashley Youngs? Top lad though. LUIZ 6 (6.43) You can't be a sophisticated gentleman on a sweaty, deafening club dancefloor and likewise a composed Brazilian CM ain't gonna get any classy ladies numbers in Steven Gerrard's oil-spattered engine room. MCGINN 3 (4.11) I remember every time I used to watch Gaetan Bong I was amazed, from my limited vantage, how he could be playing at elite level. I wonder if for fans of Forest, Leeds, Bournemouth... McGinn is our Bong. He's getting worse, you know... COUTINHO 4 (5.22) After a promising, but unproductive, couple of weeks, he's back to... oh is that Phillipe Coutinho? He used to be somebody. BUENDIA 4 (5.37) The decline continues. Buzzes around ineffectually, no doubt somewhat aware of places that links should be. Quite possibly the player most in need of Gerrard's departure. RAMSEY 6 (5.44) How I long for football's most potently dropped shoulder to be followed by a feint, a shimmy, a charge, into somewhere other than a cluttered no man's land. WATKINS 4 (5.13) I seem to remember some speculation that Watkins first experience of fatherhood might be negatively effecting him. Now, has it ever been confirmed just how many kids Watkins had, and if any of them were accidentally born Blose? Might explain things, cos otherwise . INGS 5 (5.8) Looks old. Like really old. Seems to age about 18 months between each match. DENDONCKER 5 (5) Doesn't look very good huh? ARCHER 6 (6) Showed something. I doubt he'll thrive given the present circumstances.
  7. There's an episode of South Park where Cartman gets a supposed picture of a missing child displayed on a milk cartoon. It's actually a picture of his bum. When two bum-faced parents turn up looking for their missing bum-child the situation is so absurd and hilarious that it breaks something in Cartman. He is no longer able to find anything funny and swiftly descends into a spiral of existential despair. When elite football's Steven Gerrard chose not to bulk up his midfield against ten man Leeds, giving us more options, you know, to dominate that area of the pitch that fashions a greater variety of opportunities to attack the goal, only to throw on Danny Ings with ten minutes to go, well, the whole pitch may as well have been filled with an army of bum-faced atrocities. Because something broke in me. At that point all hope was lost. This was the moment when, in the insane asylum of Steven Gerrard's Aston Villa, I decided to stop thrashing against my straitjacket, stop banging my head against the wall, and instantly accept a nirvana of learning to love an eternity of unremitting, unyielding blankness. The Lovecraftian Atrocity of the Ings substitution had destroyed my mind. Well, this didn't quite happen that way. There may have been more expletives. A dog may have looked at me funny. But perhaps if that DID happen I'd be a better person right now. To borrow once more from a source of winning puerility, in the film Ted, with the sweary teddy bear, Ted and Mark Wahlberg are discussing new strains of weed on offer. The final one is called 'This is Permanent'. This is how it feels following Steven Gerrard's Aston Villa (for it is NOT the Aston Villa of you or I). That we'll be long-balling and miscontrolling and misreading each other, and sweatily dashing and style clashing, and not being allowed to play or think or plot or plan, and basically doing a pathetic football version of the final 'out from the trenches' moment from Black Adder, but not in slow-motion (at least until the 70th minute), forever. This is permanent. Until Mr Purslow decides he doesn't particularly NEED to bop along to Phil Collins alongside Some of Liverpool's Finest Gentlemen (who are good to their mothers) at someone or other's Christmas do... this is permanent. It's pathetic how swiftly and unceremoniously we've become a big bag of shite. Of course... this is football and all is never permanent. Things can change in an instant. Fortunes have been revived, or decimated, in one telling half of football. But watching Villa players dither against ten man Leeds in the 88th minute, not sure who's ball it is, not sure what they'll do when someone finally runs to get it, not sure what they could have done to stop John McGinn imagining it's still 2018 and the ball is looping out from the Sheffield Wednesday rear-guard...this feels... permanent. TODAY'S RATING FOR STEVEN GERRARD'S ASTON VILLA (season average afterwards) MARTINEZ 6 (6.625) You do have to wonder, just a bit, if we did get that rumoured big money offer if he might just think... life's too short? MINGS 7 (7.17) A very Tyrone Mings-ish performance from the really quite marvellous Tyrone Mings. I might like watching Tyrone Mings right now more than I like watching Steven Gerrard's Aston Villa. Which is something. KONSA 6 (5.5) Still has the air of a child on a long car journey who could do a big, ugly sick AT ANY MOMENT. Nervy, unsettled, but he's just about manged to hold in the barf for now. Seemed more assured in the air today? YOUNG 7 (7) One of the few pleasant surprises of the season so far is Young stepping up as the grizzled, seen-it-all vet in the Men on a Mission movie. The boy is up for it, scrapping and pushing, like a man half his age. Let's hope that come his death scene, cigarette in mouth, he can look at the muddy battlefield with a little bit of hope. AUGUSTINSSON 6 (6) Seems a good athlete, with a tank and a decent touch. Apparently somebody up there doesn't like Aston Villa having nice new things. LUIZ 7 (6.5) Offers a calmness and control in the centre of the park that's almost surreal at times considering the chaos surrounding him. A Caravaggio in a sea of Pollock. Apparently now HATES the idea of getting a hat-trick of corner goals as he doesn't want to become a meme. RAMSAY 6 (5.38) For me the most telling regression of Steven Gerrard's Aston Villa. A good Villa game should come thick with moments of high-energy hustle and the odd imperious intervention from JJ. Now there's only the odd threat of such. Still a bit of thrust but the blade seems thinner. McGINN 4 (4.25) You're at a fine Italian restaurant, with your lovely lady. Delicious, stylish cuisine from a rich and storied culture lines the menu. You order chips. But we don't do chips, sir. You got potatoes make me chips. Double chips in fact. Chips never let you down. COUTINHO 6 (5.38) The odd seductive twinkle of a toe, an occasional incisive swish of his foot... I'm no longer concerned Coutinho is a busted flush. I DO wonder if he can be properly magic again under a manager who doesn't possess crayons for a brain. It's nice to have nice thoughts. BAILEY 4 (5.14) Honestly that's quite a generous four here. Sad Trombone Noise's Leon Bailey has another misadventure in 'I swear this pitch was twice as long' mode. Funny prank putting him in 100 year old football boots made of thick wild boar leather, but maybe let's give him the ones he had at Leverkusen, yeah? WATKINS 4 (5.28) If you listen to the jazz produced by both Watkins and Bailey's Sad Trombone Noises for too long you may end up swallowing your own tongue. If you haven't already done that. Doesn't seem to like footballs much of late. BUENDIA 6 (5.57) What is a composed master of link-up play, through balls and seemingly counter-intuitive passes (that are actually absolutely the correct option) meant to do with this fizzy mess all around him. Genuinely sad to see. BEDNAREK 6 (6) Looks pretty good I thought! Strong, sturdy, with more than a little composure and class. Yes, it was mostly against ten man Leeds. But also, do note that he was playing in the food-fight-in-an-all-you-can-eat-buffet world of Steven Gerrard's Aston Villa. INGS N/A He's bringing on Ings? Ings?! Ings. Ings. Ings....
  8. Awful, awful football match. Creaky, rotten pinball machine time at Villa Park. Can a potato be both hot and very, very cold? Luckily we were playing Southampton's Under 11 side and only mildly embarrassed ourselves. It seems the Man City siege performance meant nothing. Quite astonishing team selection, yet again from Gerrard, who is lucky every subsequent day he remains in the job. Player ratings are difficult this week. Everything is relative. How do you rate a fashion show that's taken place right after a mud slide? But we won and we're playing for an oaf, so apologies if I've been overgenerous considering the dreck on display. TODAY'S RATINGS (season average subsequently) MARTINEZ 6 (6.71) Got to watch an elite-level game of football. Looking forward to further innovations from the Emi Martinez Lab of Time Wasting Shenanigans. MINGS 7 (7.2) A bit more agricultural than usual, but chuckled manfully as Southampton thrust their skinny fists at his big old head. Had some nice moments supporting at set pieces and a few Hero Doodles that didn't pan out. KONSA 6 (5.43) Weird mixture of decent positioning and appalling game-reading. Still kinda looks a wreck to be honest. DIGNE 7 (5.43) I actually thought he was pretty good! Patrolled the left side decently and was a constant outlet with his energy. YOUNG 6 (7) Played with the unflappable authority of a guy who has seen it all. Which I think might have been valuable today. KAMARA 7 (6.43) His typical self, calm and intelligent with perfectly timed surges of aggression. McGINN 4 (4.3) Huffed and puffed, lost the ball and generally stunk the house out. Luckily for him Bailey won their mad in-game competition of 'Hold My Beer'. RAMSAY 6 (5.29) As much as we've not seen the best of Ramsay this season his instinct to carry the ball with a pointed directedness gives us a little bit of fire on a largely forebodingly dank pitch. Vital goal. Still a good lad. COUTINHO 7 (5.29) He's been better of late and today played with an eagerness and a touch of class that, sadly, was especially noticeable. If he's going to play it's important more players sync with his wit. BAILEY 3 (5.17) I've heard of shitting your pants, but it takes something special to shit your boots. Squish squish squish plop. WATKINS 6 (5.5) A bit desperate in a deeply thankless role, he nonetheless got a few nice flicks in. Repeatedly let down by his touch and never looked dangerous. LUIZ 6 (6.2) We do look more composed with Luiz in our midfield, but not one of his most assured performances. BUENDIA 5 (5.5) Buzzed around inconsequentially. Seems to have lost his spark a little. DENDONCKER 5 (5) What is a Leander Dendoncker??? INGS N/A Missed an open goal. For shame.
  9. Well, well, well, quite a curveball this game! It could definitely be a turning point for our season. Several of our players seemed to get their 'mojo' back, as it were, during the game itself. A hopefully invaluable shot in the arm and legs for, in particular, Watkins, Konsa, Ramsay, Bailey and Digne. In that order. Incredible what can be done with a functional midfield, non-stupid tactics and the subsequent license it gives our players to play with a mite more consideration and confidence. That mite, in the ungentlemanly tornado of Premier League football, goes a long way. I can only hope the club hierarchy ties up Gerrard and forces him to watch this game on loop all day and all night until he realises what a silly, silly man he's been. TODAY'S PLAYER RATING (season's average in here) MARTINEZ 7 (6.83) Perhaps a little flat-footed and irresponsive for their goal. Otherwise made some strong, though quite standard, saves throughout the game. Nice to see his trollish side emerge towards the end. MINGS 8 (7.25) Played throughout with an unflappable assurance and authority. His tough guy credentials were impeccable today. Realised he had to 'get to' Haaland and largely succeeded. KONSA 7 (5.3) Much better from Konsa! Positionally much improved and playing without the little raincloud over his head that's been dogging him for some time. Limited passing range still, but hopefully this performance will do him wonders. CASH 6 (6.16) Largely played during the 'more chasing than an unspayed dog show' chunk of the game and was relatively untroubled. Still suspicions that he's essentially a bit of a 'basic' player, he's gonna have to step it up in subsequent games. DIGNE 7 (5.16) An atypically conservative performance reveals he might actually be a capable defender! Kept it tight and worked hard. KAMARA 7 (6.33) Obviously needs to play in midfield with his new best mate Douglas Luiz. A silk boxing glove of a player. LUIZ 7 (6.5) Obviously needs to play in midfield with his new best mate Boubacar Kamara. Should get credit for his badgering for the goal too. A limp midfield and the ball never even reaches Ramsay. Energy, tenacity, a touch of class, thank god we really didn't need 25 mil. MCGINN 5 (4.33) It ain't happening for the lad is it? Got some decent tackles in (although he also shirked or missed a fair few). RAMSAY 6 (5.16) Absolutely needed that sprint, that jink, that cutback. Nervous ball control for most of the game, predictably fluffing his big chance, but if that moment can get him back on track then it's value far exceeds the point for the draw. BAILEY 7 (5.8) Largely irrelevant to the majority of the game it's amazing what a jackhammer strike can do for a performance. Hopefully, after many a false start, his Villa career properly gets going after his thudding intervention. WATKINS 7 (5.4) Much more like it! Never stopped running, had moments of decent link-up play and seemed to regain the edge and endeavour of old as the game went on. Very nice to see! YOUNG 8 (8) Excellent! A wily, battle-hardened veteran's performance. A club captain's performance you could say. He dug in, balancing ruggedness and intelligence, and lead by example. COUTINHO 6 (5) GOAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!
  10. Desperate football again. Clumsy, leaden-footed and hapless. We seem to have what I can only describe as Bad Adrenaline coursing through this side. Bad Adrenaline in our jittery, unconvincing passing. Bad Adrenaline in the defensive disorder as the thick swarms of Arsenal's attacks threatened to slap us silly. Bad Adrenaline in our somewhat awestruck chasing, and being passed by, shadows. Bad Adrenaline pumping inside our players heads and legs where, it would be reasonable to expect, tactics and planning should be. Final point: What a difference a, say, Odegaard makes to a midfield, eh? Today's ratings (season average in parentheses) MARTINEZ 5 (6.6) A number of desperate saves somewhat masked one of his worst performances for us. Lost his head. One hopes he manages to screw it back on successfully. I shudder to think what a scatty Martinez might do to our goal difference. MINGS 8 (7) An absolute captain's performance, never let his head drop. Seeing him stomp around the wobbly jumble of the rest of our defence was a bit like watching a merman during a tempestuous shipwreck. The evil piece of gum that he keeps prisoner in his mouth only managed to whisper a few mad things to him today. KONSA 5 (5) Another weak, frightened-looking performance from our former Rolls Royce. Misjudged the ball a number of times and didn't seem to have the muscle, physical or otherwise, to wrestle it back. DIGNE 4 (4.8) Must have contributed to what could be a record number of inaccurate crosses (previous record: the West Ham game), and when he wasn't doing that he was out of position and weak against his man. CASH 5 (6.2) Huffed and puffed and got frustrated but then then momentarily perked up trying to overlap with Bailey before remembering who our manager is and slumped back into whatever his position is meant to be. KAMARA 6 (6.2) What is our brilliant, beautiful boy to do with what is happening in front of him? One can only hope the lad loves a bit of the old 'character building' experience. MCGINN 4 (4.2) Unchanged from his recurring persona of 'bull that just learned how to ice skate'. RAMSAY 4 (5) Awful again, looking once more like the spooked boy you were always surprised he managed to transcend at notable points last night. It also has to be said, positionally atrocious, the awareness of a sleepwalking sloth. BUENDIA 5 (5.6) Whereas in his previous pomp Buendia's feet seemed to almost thrum with danger and excitement he now seems jaded and limp. But this is brining a fencer to a gunfight in our current predicament. BAILEY 5 (5.5) Managing the impressive feat of looking simultaneously like our most dangerous player and our most wasteful. Feet sometimes resemble cellotape trying to unwrap itself. It kinda seems like his left leg doesn't like his right leg and vice versa. LUIZ 6 (6.33) He did his party trick! Hooray for him. I wonder if he'd actually prefer operating in a balanced, intelligent midfield instead? COUTINHO 6 (4.8) Looks a bit more interested of late. Maybe he's aware of what a desperate situation we're in?
  11. I'm loath to overstate the obvious, but such are the baffling flaws of Gerrard's Villa that it's practically a requirement if one wishes to be accurate. So, modern football right, it's all about absolute control isn't it? The post-Barcelona concentration on players comfortable on the ball maintaining positional discipline and creating an advantage through careful, systematic passing, mostly through a stacked midfield. Everyone is aware of this. You control the ball, mostly through midfield, mostly through taut concentrations of players, and you control the game. The game is no longer really sturm und drang or individual brilliance. It's all discipline and planning, almost machine-like. If you're a boxer, sure, you can lunge and flail wildly, putting all your might into every swing, but that's not the kind of considered optimising of your resources that wins fights. Alen Babic will never beat Oleksandr Usyk. It's just not how things work. It's not done. We've collectively realised this. Sure, such football works better if you have the budget and nous of a Guardiola (or his various disciples) and your approach can be tweaked to go 100mph a la Klopp. It can, conversely, be spoilt with physicality, defensive rigour, set piece expertise or swift counter attacking. But the pivot of the modern game is control. Short, sharp control. Everyone is aware that this is what 'modern, progressive' football is and it's just what everyone does. It's now a principle, a standard, an expectancy. This is modern football and an awareness of how it all works is essential if one is serious about applying one's coaching to an elite team of footballers. Well, apparently not everyone has noticed this. Take the Aston Villa squad. Throw in the persona non grata likes of Sanson and Traore if you wish. Make your formation. I struggle to think of any other manager that would have us set up in this way, playing the way that we do. It's just foolishness. It's hard to believe yet it's happening right before your eyes. It's hard to blame the players. They all seem quite beleaguered. The crap DNA of a lack of coherent design is in each and every flubbed pass, underhit pass, pass slightly ahead or slightly behind. It is in players unsure which one of them should go where. Which one should go for the ball. Which one should go for the run. Which one should stay back. Which should steam ahead. It's in the ludicrous situation where we're often most vulnerable from our own goddamn corner kicks. It's in the static uncertainty of our supposed attacking manoeuvres. It's in the air of desperation and stink of futility whenever things don't work out and we go all a bit deer in the headlights. It's in the agonizingly long periods where we haven't threatened the goal in forever and we resemble those animals in zoos going mad just repeating the same old useless loops. And I think, most crucially, it's antithetical to how these players have been engineered. It's counter to how they work, how they think even. And it's stunningly depressing to watch. Gerrard after ceding control has seemingly now lost control. Maybe he never had it in the first place? Maybe slip quietly out the back door, fella. For what it's worth, today's rating first (seasons average in parentheses). MARTINEZ 7 (7.25) KONSA 6 (5) CHAMBERS 6 (6.5) CASH 6 (6.5) DIGNE 5 (5) KAMARA 7 (6.25) MCGINN 4 (4.25) COUTINHO 6 (4.5) LUIZ 7 (6.5) INGS 5 (6) WATKINS 5 (4.66) BUENDIA 5 (5.75) BAILEY 6 (5.66)
  12. A little worried about the gallery of crocked players, but a likeable bunch of lads here (and Patrick Bamford).
  13. Ha! My internet cut out for the first two picks! Not unhappy with my bunch of loveable rogues though...
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