ChesterVillan

A blonde was driving down the motorway when her mobile phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her: "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car!" said the blonde, "There's f***ing hundreds of them!

A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two tickets to Tittsburgh'........... So she socked me a good one." The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'you ruined my life you evil fat slag'

How about Gem? (OS uses Djem) Just seen his profile on OS btw and this guy is so symmetrical: his weight is 11st 11lbs ! That gives me an idea, how about Gemini (Djemini) - the sign of the twins...)