Jump to content

avfc102001

Full Member
  • Posts

    28
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Reputation

0 Neutral
  1. Right at the time. Easy to see now he would have done a job but not being in the team for that time means he wouldn't have developed into the player he is now.
  2. Being a true Villa fan I only have eyes for the left side.
  3. Top right has got it for me. Though just to make sure I think the club should put some top totty in the kits to give us a better idea.
  4. My friend has a nut allergy every time we're drunk we make him play Russian roulette with a bag of revels.
  5. LAST WEEK, I WAS RUSHING AROUND TRYING TO GET SOME LAST MINUTE SHOPPING DONE. I WAS STRESSED OUT AND NOT THINKING VERY FONDLY OF THE CHRISTMAS SEASON RIGHT THEN. IT WAS DARK, COLD, AND WET IN THE MULTI STORY CAR PARK AS I LOADED MY CAR UP WITH THE GIFTS I FELT OBLIGATED TO BUY. I NOTICED THAT I WAS MISSING THE SHOP RECEIPT WHICH I WOULD NEED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR PARK WITHOUT PAYING, SO MUMBLING UNDER MY BREATH, I RETRACED MY STEPS TO THE SHOPPING CENTRE ENTRANCE. AS I WAS SEARCHING THE WET PAVEMENT FOR THE LOST RECEIPT, I HEARD A QUIET SOBBING. THE CRYING WAS COMING FROM A POORLY DRESSED BOY OF ABOUT 10 YEARS OLD. HE WAS SHORT AND THIN. HE HAD NO COAT. HE WAS JUST WEARING A RAGGED FLANNEL SHIRT TO PROTECT HIM FROM THE COLD EVENINGS CHILL. ODDLY ENOUGH, HE WAS HOLDING TWO FIFTY POUND NOTES IN HIS HAND. THINKING THAT HE HAD GOT LOST FROM HIS PARENTS, I ASKED HIM WHAT WAS WRONG AND HE TOLD ME HIS SAD STORY. HE SAID THAT HE CAME FROM A LARGE FAMILY. HE HAD THREE BROTHERS AND FOUR SISTERS. HIS FATHER HAD DIED WHEN HE WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD. HIS MOTHER WAS POORLY EDUCATED AND WORKED TWO FULL TIME JOBS TO MAKE ENDS MEET. NEVERTHELESS, SHE HAD MANAGED TO SCRIMP AND SAVE TWO HUNDRED POUNDS TO BUY HER CHILDREN CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. THE YOUNG BOY HAD BEEN DROPPED OFF, BY HIS MOTHER, ON THE WAY TO HER SECOND JOB. HE WAS TO USE THE MONEY TO BUY PRESENTS FOR ALL HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND SAVE JUST ENOUGH TO TAKE THE BUS HOME. HE HAD NOT EVEN ENTERED THE SHOPPING CENTRE, WHEN AN OLDER BOY GRABBED TWO OF HIS FIFTY POUND NOTES AND DISAPPEARED INTO THE NIGHT. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SCREAM FOR HELP?" I ASKED. THE BOY SAID, "I DID". "AND NOBODY CAME TO HELP YOU?" THE BOY STARED AT THE GROUND AND SADLY SHOOK HIS HEAD. "HOW LOUD DID YOU SCREAM?" I ENQUIRED. THE SOFT-SPOKEN BOY LOOKED UP AND MEEKLY WHISPERED, "HELP ME!" I REALISED THAT ABSOLUTELY NO ONE COULD HAVE HEARD THAT POOR BOY CRY FOR HELP. iT WAS THEN I REALISED WHAT I HAD TO DO, I GRABBED HIS OTHER TWO FIFTY POUND NOTES AND F*CKED OFF.
  6. There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a "real one". She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy... you explain the kids."
  7. One friday afternoon two women are talking about nothing in particular when one of them spots the other’s husband and says: “Oh look Gloria! He’s bought you a lovely bunch of flowers.” Gloria turns to look and replies: “Oh bloody hell, that’s me on my back with my legs open all weekend.” Her friend looks surprised and asks: “You don’t have a vase, then?”
  8. Solaro with the suntan kid to come on when he fades. Oh we do need something more in the midfield. Am I the first one to notice that???
  9. ……beer please.’ The barman says ‘ok, but why the big pause’. To which the bear replied. ‘I'm a bear I was born with them.
  10. A bear goes into a pub and says 'I'll have a pint of .............
  11. Ok 100th post so I’m gonna celebrate my call up to the first team with a joke. There are two old people in an old peoples home, an old woman and an old man. After a visit from the doctor the old woman turns to the old man and says. ‘I’ve got acute angina you know’. To which the old man replies, ‘your tits ain’t bad either’. I just like to say to the press that now I have made my 1st team debut I’d like to declare my intentions to stay in the 1st team and save the moderates massive amounts of money in transfer fees of posters from other boards. Home grown talent like me is the future.
×
×
  • Create New...
Â