Bodvilla

Not entirely sure what magic he's performing in training, but it's certainly not being brought onto the pitch. At the moment he's lacking in awareness and watching play before sprinting after the ball like a dog. If he gets the ball, then it's either the N'Zogbia classic of run quickly and shin the ball straight into the opposition, or look down at the ball and try and kick it as hard as you can in the vague direction of the goal, which normally results in a scuffed passback to the keeper, or a rocket into row ZZ.

Lambert's main problem at the moment is that he seems to pick most of his starting 11 before plucking the formation out of a hat, and then trying to shoehorn the players in.

Whilst he hasn't been as good as last season, part of the reason is down to being played out of position. This year Lambert has had him play out on the right and in the hole behind the striker, when he should be on the defender's shoulder in a 2 man forward line.

He was up against it today, as we only had the one centre mid. Seeing as Westwood wasn't playing, we should have played KEA or Sylla in beside him.

We don't play with three strikers, we play with one and we have two wide midfielders/wingers. Gabby + Weimann play those positions because they have the speed and stamina to get forward and support Benteke yet also get back to help Luna + Lowton. If Benteke gets injured, the replacement will be Helenius, Gabby or Weimann. If Gabby or Weimann gets injured, then their place will be taken by Tonev, Bacuna, Delph, Bowery, or Albrighton. We have plenty of 'battlers' in the middle like Delph, El Ahmedi and Sylla. Westwood is sitting in there, mopping up and spreading the ball. No one who can play just in front of them with the creativity/trickery to unlock good defences. And if anyone thinks N'Zogbia is the answer, they need their head examined.

We should rest our first 11 against Bolton on saturday then, incase 1 of them gets seriously injured. And then there's the Wolves game after, that will be fiesty. Best leave them out to prevent injury.

The players that went out there were hamstrung before we'd even started the game. Houllier's desire to play 451 with 2 short, inexperienced midfielders as fullbacks meant that the 2 strikers who were playing as wingers were forced even deeper than usual to help them out. This left our lone forward 30+yards away from his nearest teammate. That Heskey was the lone frontman just compounded the nightmare. Houllier is making the same frustrating mistakes that MON did, by stubbornly sticking to a formation that isn't working and playing people out of position when there's naturals on the bench or even left out of the team.

Whole team's been pish. No presence anywhere on the pitch, and when we get the ball it's either passed back to the defence/keeper, or straight back to sunderland. Everyone needs a kick up the arse.

Plays for Aston Villa Our Dutch hardman wears the number three ?

Pinball Wizard tune - Ashley's a wing wizard Does a trick then a twist A Villa wizard He's got another assist

The Who - Won't get fooled again (chorus) We'll sing out loud for our wing wizard Ashley Plays on the left, the right or centrally Jump for joy when Ashley has a shot He's gonna score one or two Just like John Carew Because we all know that it's true We're gonna score again I'll change my playlist now i think...

Just been listening to The Who, so obviously : People try to take his legs ( talkin' 'bout our Ashley Yo-ung) 'cos he leaves them all for dead ( talkin' 'bout our Ashley Yo-ung) One quick trick and away he goes ( talkin' 'bout our Ashley Yo-ung) He's gonna score another goal (talkin' 'bout our Ashley Yo-ung)