Troglodyte

He was Baselayers, who was also Stevo, and he's been offered a better deal to go to the Man City forums. He'll hardly ever make a comment over there, though - they just snap up all the amusing talent emerging in forums lower down the table.

I like Ross Noble but had a feeling that Stitches would be garbage. Is it worth watching at all, considering I like Noble's stand-up (although I don't think he's been as good in recent years)?

To have a goal difference of 0 after playing Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool isn't bad, and I'd have taken that before the start of the season. Unfortunately, we deserved a minimum of a point from at least one of the performances against Chelsea and Liverpool but didn't get it. That said, the fact that I feel that way indicates that we're improving, particularly compared to last season. Onwards and upwards. UTV!

I wonder how many times Redknapp has actually seen Lamela play? "Yeah he'd be a good signing, he's young, very much a Levy type of signing, he's... young." I hate Jamie Redknapp. Fool.

They were like this after the Stoke game. Good signing on a free transfer and did well against Stoke. Contrary to lots of opinions on here, I think he had a decent game today as well, although he is very much from the Jamie Carragher 'slyly foul as much as possible to make up for your lack of pace' school of defending. He'll get found out against the likes of Agüero though, if he plays. Do remember he's really a backup player.

Yet he has the audacity to claim he thought it was a penalty when asked about it after the game. Spunk trumpet of the highest order. Hope he slips and breaks his face next time he's doing that stupid bloody dance.

The League Cup really doesn't exist in Sky Land, does it? Saying to Rodgers that they have Man United next, and that we don't have a game for three weeks. Knobs.

Did they mention Toure's shoulder into Benteke's back? As if!

Why the **** are Sky still banging on about the 'penalty' for Liverpool? Clearly not one, as shown immediately and clearly by their own replays, but that doesn't stop the commentators, pundits and interviewer all suggesting that it probably should have been - even though Liverpool won anyway! clearings in the woods.

Much, much better in the second half. Negatives first: Bacuna did look very nervous in the first half. However, some of the stick he was getting on here was atrocious. Thankfully it didn't sound like the fans at VP were quite so quick to get on his back. Couple of good touches and very energetic though, and he improved in the second half (as did almost the entire team). Brad looked typically solid in goal. Weimann was fairly poor - I've been saying for a while that I really like him but there are areas of his game he really needs to work on, as shown today when he was constantly closed down. However, I'm sure he has the determination to improve. I'm still not totally convinced by Vlaar, but don't think he's quite as bad as others are suggesting. Conceding one goal against Liverpool (from what I think was their only shot on target) certainly doesn't suggest that we were defensively poor. The first half performance overall was sloppy and we couldn't get a foot on the ball for the first thirty minutes. Benteke was kept fairly quiet, but still showed that he's the kind of quality forward who can pull something out of nothing. Unfortunately, he couldn't stick one of his very few chances in the back of the net. Positives: Delph is very dynamic and getting better and better. That said, although his aggression is an asset, he needs to stop putting his foot in needlessly and getting bookings, particularly early ones. KEA looks much, much better than last season. Petrov-esque. We might have done better if he had started. I think Okore looks like the real deal. Super composed and has bags of pace at the back, enabling the full backs (particularly on the right) to really push forward. He's also very composed with the ball at his feet and will help us get up the pitch by confidently striding out of defence, although he was rescued by Brad at the end when he was a little too casual. Helenius didn't look too bad from the few touches he had. Luna is tremendously hard working and clearly becoming a real fan favourite, and deservedly so.

What??? We had so much more energy than them in the second half. Mad.

Bugger.

Nice one, Bradley. I love you.

Despite our poor start, there's no way we deserve to lose this.

Go back to the Sty, please.

Can we trade two if we offer a 2:1 exchange rate?

I want to punch Daniel Sturridge straight in the face.

ARGH **** ME

Sounds like a movie. 18 rated?

Carragher retires, so Liverpool need a new slow defender who does his job solely by pushing, pulling and fouling deceptively... in comes Kolo Touré!

HELENIUS OF TROY

Aaaaargh. Will it happen??

Semi-nuclear.

Okore is cool as ****. COME ON VILLA!

Shitting hell. Come on lads, keep it up!!