monkoltrane

Sadly, James Milner has been warned never to throw a dart again. The world's leading scientists have calculated that should he ever throw again, the velocity and spin of the dart would create a massive space-time 'worm-hole' through which the entire known universe would be sucked into the total and utter destruction of everything. On hearing the news - that he would never be able to play his (2nd) favourite sport again - James was so distraught, that he had to be held down using a force equivalent to the entire mass of the British Isles. Later, he calmed down sufficiently to have a cup of Earl Grey tea (a variety he wouldn't normally drink and never will again) into which he dunked two Digestive and a Nice biscuit.

James Milner goes to the shipyard every morning... throws steel girders up to the platform... runs up... catches them... rivets them with his teeth... refreshes himself with a steaming mug of 20/50 engine oil. Then he starts his shift.