paddy

round where i was (in the trinity) the first goal was the best celebration wise, it was the first time i'd ever seen villa score against blues and we just went absolutely mental, i've still got the scar to prove it, right up the back of my calf, didn't even notice i'd done it for 10 minutes the adrenaline was pumping so much, my left trouser leg was caked with blood, i'd also managed to knock my mate over the seat in front in our wild celebrations, the second goal i dropped my phone where i was reading a message from my blues fan mate (look up in time to see it dropping to hitz) and my mate caught my other mate full on in the face with a right hook, nobody cared, but i still think the celebrations for the first goal were the best and even they won't top the celebrations after liverpools 2nd 'goal' against newcastle

yeah i forgot to say what i was, i wasn't born either

when villa won in Rotterdam? i know this kind of follows on from Nurembergvillans thread about how it was and everything but i thought i'd make a poll so i could see where people were and that, so vote away, feel free to discuss it on the other thread and just use this as a poll

2 women walk into a bar, one turns to the other "i'm glad we've managed to crack into this male dominated genre of joke"

it's not often we have a selection as good as that to choose from! i went for the Angel v Wolves but it could be any of them, all absolutely outstanding, i would say Angel v Bolton (away) runs it close

even the guardian are talking about gamst pedersen, we've definitely been to watch him and i reckon it might be sorted sooner rather than later because we'll be keen that he doesn't play too many games over the summer so he has a nice long rest before the season starts, on the other hand i suppose it might be a while before it happens because tromso will want to hold onto him for as long as possible as he'll have nothing to do if he moves now

i always like the rearranged versions of: Peter Risdale : Dire Leeds Prat David Ginola: Dildo Vagina

a woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre... ...so he gave her one

a program the other night reminded me of a classic (if a little distasteful) gag: what's the smallest pub in the world... ...the tholidamite arms (sorry couldn't spell that word beginning with t and ending in e) BOF Edit - thalidomide

**DON'T READ IF EASILY OFFENDED, JOKE IN EXTREMELY POOR TASTE** What's Eric Clapton's favourite chord? A flat minor (sorry it is funny, but sick also) feel free to remove it if it's not appropriate JC

pele for me

i don't know if this will appeal to your sense of humour but i find these really fun, courtesy of www.themanwhofellasleep.com these are 'sad jokes': Not all jokes are funny. Some are tragic. When someone else is run over by a steamroller, it's funny. When it happens to you, it's not so funny. In fact, it normally kills you. Although not always. Sometimes you end up very flat, but survive. That's also sad. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg. Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the Nazis. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a cat with no tail? A manx cat. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house." The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop? Yes, he was killed and buried there. It was gang-related. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: What a beautiful dog. Does he bite? Dog-owner: No. Man: Can I pet him? Dog-owner: No, he has a form of eczema that makes him skin weep if touched. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How can you tell when an Essex girl wants sex? She displays signs of arousal, such as enlargement of the clitoris and swelling of the labia. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? One.

at least they're giving us a choice, i expect it to all be very similar (mostly look like the Denmark kit, those stupid sleeves) but still, the fact that they're giving some of us (not quite sure who) the choice is a positive sign

what's the difference between neil armstrong and michael jackson? one was the first man on the moon... ...the other touches kids (allegedly) what's brown and sticky? a stick (wahey!)