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irish-villan

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  1. No 16 draws!!! 2 wins instead of them and we don't have this problem!!! Come on Alex!!!!
  2. No 16 draws!!! 2 wins instead of them and we don't have this problem!!! Come on Alex!!!!
  3. When was the last time we threatened them?? Its us that need the points!!!!
  4. Gabby, Dunne and i think that's it by the look of things out there!!!!
  5. Its now a must win so lets play players who care, who are??????
  6. More interested in sunderland game!!! That's how bad we are!!
  7. ten euro taxi from city center is prob easiest. its only 20 minutes walk from city center but with 7 year old taxi is best
  8. Have spare ticket for des kelly stand aswell. I'll be around the ground at around 1ish
  9. A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, trying to go asleep. the husband turns on the bedlamp to read a book. As hes reading he periodically reaches over and fondles his wifes "special area." The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused. Assuming that the husband is seeking some encouragement she gets out of bed and stsrts stripping off in front of him. The husband asks " what are you doing" The wife replies "You were rubbing me downtown i thought it was foreplay" The husband says " no not at all" The wife replies angrily "so what the **** were u doing" Husband replies "i was just wetting my fingers so i can turn the pages of my book"
  10. This bloke goes down on a woman he'd met that night and says "**** hell whats that smell?" The woman replies "that'll be my arthritus." The bloke says " wha in ur fanny????" Woman says " no in my shoulder.. I cant wipe my arse".
  11. Aston Villa signed a young Iraq kid and he slowly made his way up to the reserves. He played magnificantly for the reserves and the manager said hed put him on the bench to play Bolton on Saturday. With 20 minutes to go Milan Baros picked up an injury and the Iraq kid came on for him. 5 minutes after coming on the ball landed to him on the edge of the area. He had a shot and the ball went straight into the top corner. Villa went on to win the game. After the match he went straight out to ring his mother and tell her the story. Hes mother then said to him when you were out playing football, your father was shot, your sister was raped on the streets and your brother was kidnapped. The son then said sorry but theres nothing i could have done. The mother the mother replied angrily and said what do you mean theres nothing you could have done, its your fault we moved to Birmingham in the first place.
  12. how do you knock a clown off a swing??? Hit him in the face with a hachet.
  13. Why do these jokes always involve an Irish man?????? Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating Ireland's football victory. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight,Paddy" Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. Shoite,Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air,feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face."Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "If i can just make it to me bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' p*ssed. But how'd you know?" Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub."
  14. A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves on one of the bedroom walls, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall. She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he's put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She finds it strange for a young man to have such a large collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. All the while she's thinking to herself ... This is wonderful! Maybe this guy could be the one! Maybe he could father my children!...etc. She turns to him...they kiss.. and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?" The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
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