Richard

You nicked my line-

Ahhh Sunderland - Is it true if you get divorced there you still remain as brother and sister? The place where you can only tell who is a virgin because she's the only 12 year old who can run faster than her dad.

I think the joke was set in Sunderland.

or your bloody pic a choo thingy :wink:

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating smarties. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a smartie fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the smartie out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the smartie flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he clever? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?" The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers,... our son-in-law!"

I'm still waiting for a certain Ellis fan to come on here and say how wonderful it all is and it's down to Ellis. :wink:

20 not a problem I don't think. 30 may be pushing it a little :wink

Couldn't give a stuff. As to the money, well what do you expect from our crappy marketing team. The way our club is run is a joke from top to bottom.

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm Jonny Wilkinson, the best flyhalf in Britain. The English need me, it would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps. The second passenger, Graca Machel, says, "I am the wife of the former President of South Africa. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world." She takes one of the parachutes and jumps. The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, " I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps. The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy replies "No problem your popeness, there is also a parachute for you. America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag..."

Not at all..... or 4th.

Ok. Let Doug start holding his breath and we'll tell him when to stop.

I know Rob but I had a really good feeling about Robinson and an even better feeling about Juninho.

He doesn't give a shit about us really. If he did he'd have gone before now.

As the great Lamarr once sang " I think about now it's 50:50 "