StanBalaban

"Get off the stage Sergio. No one's here for you!"

His missus is ridiculous

That is our shirt.

Yeah, I wouldn't say he'd be anywhere near a dream signing, but it's always difficult trying to get quality into the squad when you have such a important player ahead of you in the queue. I'm thinking along the lines of a player that can score goals in the PL, would probably back himself to challenge Ollie, is young enough to play a high-intensity game, but also won't kick up a fuss when coming off the bench. Would definitely benefit from being coached by Unai too. Not many spring to mind.

I liked Archer, but Iheanacho has 6 years of regular Premier League experience under his belt, as well as nearly 50 international caps. They're in very different stages of their career and, right now, Iheanacho is the better player. Archer may become a better and more reliable player in due course, but asked to pick out of the two this season, I would pick Iheanacho all day.

It is... and that's just the highlight of the collection, plus a load of bikes too. He used to live in Dubai, but worked across Australia maintaining wind farms. Sold his business for a lot of money and retired in his early forties. Lucky bastard. Anyhoo... shame we can't see Nicolo this evening, but I wonder if he's moving up towards a start against Liverpool?

I think he'd be a positive addition to the squad, won't demand to be automatic starter yet be capable when called upon. Is experienced, but still young, and has a existing understanding with Tielemans. Archer went for 18m, so 20m is not a huge outlay. Wages may be more of an issue, but there's a lot to be said about a kinda 'unsung hero' if you like. Danny Welbeck regularly starts for a team that finished above us for example.

A client of mine in Denmark has quite the car collection in both DK and Australia, including a Diablo, a Singer Porsche, a 930 Turbo a 992 Turbo and an F40. I've yet to visit him since he left Dubai, but he says it's the best car by a considerable margin in his garage.

I had a Ferrari 355 for a while, a few years ago. It belonged to a Russian friend of mine that got it in a divorce. She had nowhere to park it, wasn't attached to it and couldn't drive a manual, so it lived with me for around 9 months. Did a weekend swap with a friend that owns a 328 GTS (a mild evolution of the 308) and it was just a beautiful machine. Incredibly slow and an effort to drive, it was nonetheless just great to look at, sit in and listen to. The 355 was leagues ahead in every other way, and that would easily get burnt-off by a Golf R32 of the day. However, for tuning heads and making you feel special, they were both amazing.

Would anyone take Iheanacho as back-up / challenge to Ollie?

I genuinely think we're a victim of being organised and prepared in our transfer activity. Had we brought in Tielemans and Torres, but done deadline day deals for Zaniolo and Diaby, those same people would be ecstatic.

Archer subbed off after 63 mins against Lincoln.

That Beto is **** massive. 10 Elphicks at least.

Huge 45 minutes for Dyche coming up.

Should work. I've bought match passes before and they've always worked (as well as Villa TV can work) here in Dubai.

For some reason I can picture Dougie giving this a go... Holding the ball on his foot, before lifting it clear over the defence for an already advanced Ollie Watkins to shoot straight at the keeper's legs. Genius.

Mate of mine's parents bought him a CPC 464 with a green screen monitor and tape drive. He was gutted.

No way was the ST inferior to the C64 or Spectrum. The Amstrad CPC was typical dog shit you'd expect from Alan Sugar. I went from CPC 6128 to Amiga with the Batman pack, but it was playing Test Drive II on the ST that was the required catalyst to nag my parents for a new computer.

And look at Bissouma this season, under some comparative stability. He's been one of their best players so far.

I'd prefer him too, but Sam Johnstone is vying with Guaita for the number 1 spot and is getting game time. It's works well for Johnstone to be at Palace, as he has a crack at regular football, especially as Guaita might be leaving. Our issue is that our number 1 is a dominant number 1. No one is challenging him. Why would Johnstone (or insert name) come here knowing he'll barely play? That's the biggest recruitment issue Unai faces if he were to replace Olsen.

We should probably caveat that by saying this has emanated from "Twiiter rumour" (unspecified).

It's not just as simple as 'our back up keeper is crap' though. When you have such a dominant no.1 keeper, it's a difficult position to fill, hence why Unai is content having Olsen in the role. He's far from perfect, but is an experienced full international. For a keeper to stand in for Emi without there being a sizeable drop in quality, you're looking for a keeper that would be able to play regularly in the PL, or top Championship side. With that in mind, how do you recruit a player of that calibre, with him knowing full well that instead of regular football at another club he should come to Aston Villa and rarely play. Given how seriously Unai takes the cups, it's not even a 'gimme' that he'll get to start those early games. What's in it for a good keeper to be a #2 at Aston Villa in lieu of being a #1 somewhere else?

Irrespective of the number (and whilst it's a lot, it's still not enough players for the manager to not recognise the names, as seemed to be the case) these are players that are on the Chelsea payroll and have returned to the club from loan spells. I could be wrong, but I wouldn't imagine Unai would let resources like that go to waste by falling through the cracks.

There was a clip circulating a few days ago of Poch being asked about a couple of Chelsea players that had been on loan, and he had no idea who they were. I don't know if someone is 'born' to be an elite manager, but you just know that Unai has worked his bollocks off to be the very best version of himself that he could possibly be. The work ethic and attention to detail, combined with the intelligence to understand football is unlike anything I've ever seen in a Villa manager. There's absolutely no way Unai would lose track of any players near the first team for instance. No matter what happens against better opposition down the line, I feel so fortunate to have someone working so hard to bring success to the Villa.