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I've just had a thought, this season we've had Sherwood, McDonald, Garde and now Black as our managers. We've actually had more managers this season than wins Surely got to be some kind of record?

In before the "I don't believe the official statement I only believe the figure plucked out of the air by the media!!!"

This please.

suffice to say, if a tory was on fire, I'd take 3 days to get back from my holiday and then I'd go out to tender for 6 weeks to find the cheapest person willing to piss on them before considering any further action

urm........

So something incredibly funny but also quite embarrassing happened last night between me and my girlfriend, and I feel like I need to tell someone so VT, I'm telling you. We arranged for her to come over to mine for a curry which I made from scratch. All the good stuff was involved in this curry, peppers, onions, chili, chicken pieces etc, and it tasted amazing! It was pretty hot too but that didn't seem to phase her which was good. Anyway, after a few glasses of wine we make our way into the bedroom, get undressed, and start the foreplay which was good fun. Here's the part where it got a bit troublesome..... Little did I know, I still had chili all over my fingers, and my fingers went into a very sensitive area (Not UTWU Rob before you ask), which lead to me laughing my head off at the situation and her laughing but also nearly in tears. Apparently it's pretty painful and extremely hot. Many ice cubes were sacrificed. I offered to pour milk over it but apparently that's weird?!? TL;DR version - Don't handle Chili before sex!!! Or you know, wash your hands properly afterwards...

Sanders wins Wisconsin meaning we have a Democratic Socialist one state away and one election away from being president of the United States. All eyes are now on New York, (where Bernie grew up and from where Hillary was a senator.) If Sanders can pull this off in NY, it will be an earthquake in American politics. **** come on, Bernie!

I just donated money to Sanders, first time I've given money to a politician. The next two weeks are going to be great theater leading up to New York...

Less bad, but we should have gone for this:

I had a dream last night about the managers job! Sherwood was brought back for the last 6 games with Roy Keane as his assistant. We signed Benteke on an emergency loan as the Premier league felt sorry for us. For some reason I was watching his first game on a portable TV at a bed superstore (not sure whether it was Dreams or Bensons for Beds). While trying out various mattresses, I caught glimpse of the score and we were 3-0 down to the baggies at home after 19 minutes. I proceeded to throw the portable TV into a pond, which was located in the aforementioned bed superstore. That was all I can remember

It's almost like Thatcher was some kind of force for evil, isn't it? Must admit the thought had never so much as begun to contemplate the opportunity of crossing my mind until reading that.

I've seen this in a few places, but it's a fair point. It's brilliantly ironic that the Prime Minister leading a government that wants to look at your entire online presence at will, has the brass neck to say his affairs are private.

I feel the same mate. By this point in previous years, I'd have guessed and re-guessed the point totals each of our relegation rivals will achieve. This season, I haven't bothered (that in itself has been quite nice!). Normally I'm having to defend the club from jokes/insults from my mates. I've not had to do anywhere near as much as I would have thought, which is probably quite telling. While this has been an embarrassment of a campaign, the heartbreak if we had been relegated in the final game of the season, having put up more of a fight would hurt more. Whether or not that's true, I don't know. But it's what I'm telling myself. The way this season's gone has highlighted the sheer ineptitude of how the club has been run for years-if we had scraped survival again, I doubt much would have changed in the summer and we'd be here, this time next year, discussing what went wrong again. I'm hopeful that if it takes this disastrous season to ensure the club is run differently and the terrible, can't be bothered players are gone, then maybe it's worth it in the long run. Again, whether or not that's true, I don't know. But it's what I'm telling myself.

I think I've been unconsciously avoiding the staggering reality of where we are right now. Is it true that we could actually be relegated this weekend? It's barely April and we are a week away from possible relegation. What a complete and total COLLAPSE by the club. We've all been watching the past six years as it all went by in slow motion. But now things are speeding up and we are doomed to be exiled from our proper place in the world, and it could be a potentially very long time before we get back. What an absolute train wreck.

I at least wish we'd taken the chance to revert to 'Aston Villa'

The real waste is the money wasted on holding a referendum at all.

i want Negan for Villa manager Get all the players on their knees so they know that they work for him now He can even do his eeny meeny mino mo with the baseball bat and hopefully Gabby will be the one that is made an example of

It's amazing that we'll potentially get games like Newcastle v Leeds or Villa v Forest in the Championship, and Bournemouth v Burnley or Watford v Brighton in the Prem next season.

what I would do for a record of no win in 5

In a hungover state, I was once eating sausages with a very hot chili sauce. In the middle of my meal, I needed to go for a pee, so stopped and went to the loo to drain the lizard. After I'd sat back down, I started to get a burning sensation on my own sausage. Had to jump in a cold shower, it was that bad. I feel her pain.

Basically, your new guys think you are a bell already.

Fixed.

You're still hoping we can cancel Gabby's contract aren't you?

Thanks for the tip David

Not really. Elections tend to be about bigger ideas at their heart. In principle anyway. Your voting for an approach. You vote for the approach that you think best suits the way the country is going and you accept that your vote is for the party you think will deal with the problems for you best. All the nonsense every ejection year asking about positions on policies are less about what they actually feel about whatever soundbite legislation issue, and are more about gauging the kind of approach they take to things. And mix in some popularity contest shit. Referendums directly ask the populace to make a single decision. That works for simple things. Something is easy to have an opinion on. Do I like this flag, etc. With something like the EU... Nah. I spent a lot of time and money learning about the EU. I'm pretty unusual as far as the populace goes. I don't feel completely confident in my ability to make the correct decision in a referendum on it. Average Joe? He doesn't have the first idea of what the EU really means for Britain, what the EU really does day to day and what the problems are with it on any front. And we're asking everyone to say yes or no. With the popularity contest shit thrown in because that anyways happens. It's an absolutely awful decision.

http://www.someoneinlondon.com/project/the_claws_are_out/ Some more detail

Quick mock up

That PaddyPower joke doesn't really work tbh.

You don't need to be a nutjob conspiracy theorist to know that when it comes to the 'real' running of America there are some very sinister people who have more real power than the elected 'leader'.

For the amount the shirt costs I want a real life lion with it.

Looks much better on the garment. Side by side with the original it doesn't look vastly different but I guess subtle changes can be important. Overall I'm happy enough with it and with the cost.

If you scroll down to the bottom of the story on the OS, you can see the new badge in a link that doesn't go anywhere http://www.avfc.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10265~5475573,00.html?

Ive just read a book called voices from normandy, a really good read about D-Day. One fo the voices is from a guy from birmingham who said when he was taking cover in a foxhole from german artillery bombardment he could hear wild discussions between the bombardments from the foxhole behind him about who was the best club, Birmingham City or Aston Villa and it cheered him up and gave him a sense of being close to home.

To be honest i would prefer going down if it meant winning games and being competitive again. These last 3-4 years have not been enjoyable as a villa fan.

...and actively cutting the contributions to that purse made by his rich mates. Whilst not collecting the corporate tax owed which would mean less pressure on the NHS and teh schools in the first place, and proposing a wholesale gift of state assets to his rich mates who run companies that handle academies. Great stuff all round really can't think why anyone would think he's a word removed.

Well that settles it then. You'll receive £3m for your trouble and not a penny more.

This shit needs to stop.

It's still got bright yellow on it, and it's still a blue I'd be embarrassed to see on a babygrow. Go away.

Presumably not his commentary.

I don't think it's small time to have the star on there. It's just they did it in a really crap way. It's like they designed the badge and then said "Shit, we forgot the star. Just bung it up there where there's a gap" I've always said our current badge pandered too much to the fans. Not that it's our fault. but I still remember the survey that was sent out asking fans what they wanted in a new badge. Do you want it to be round, or a crest? A lion or no lion? A star or no star? Prepared or no Prepared? etc It was clear when it was revealed the badge they'd just taken the answers from that survey and incorporated EVERYTHING that the fans said they wanted, and hit "print". It's as if nobody ever took a step back and thought "right, we've incorporated everything, but does this ACTUALLY look any good?"

Townsend would be a absolutely terrific appointment in my opinion. Get him in Hollis

Was that the day good jokes died?

They should pay me to organise it. I'd hire D1, SBS and anyone else on here who can knock up a decent design, then put the best ones to a vote on here. I guarantee the badge that won would be better than our current one, and most likely the new one too. Easy. That'll be a million quid. Thanks.

It's shit, and yet it's still less shit than our current badge. Honestly, a GCSE design student would be embarrassed by our current badge. 1 badge, 2 fonts. Colours so washed out that a few feet away you can't tell what it is, and a declawed lion.

I'd drive Pearson to VP myself and never ever say a bad word about him if the alternative was Savage. I would literally rather have Gabby as manager over Savage.

I'd actually quite like Jonathan Walters in our team. I get the impression he doesn't take shit from any player on the pitch who isn't giving 100%. I'd almost be inclined to make him captain... Just reading that sentence back.... I'd make Jonathan Walters captain of Aston Villa Football club ... what a shambles we've become.

Better call Saul was a masterpiece this week.