LxYoungAVFC Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 Hey there I was wondering if anybody has some interesting techniques to look busy at work when you really aren't busy at all. Maybe you don't want your boss to give you a task or your Co-worker to ask for a favour because you are already stressed enough with the work you have. How do you give people the illusion that you are always working hard and giving 110%? How to look busy: Play a youtube video called "Typing/Keyboard Sounds" whilst browsing/not working. (I pause it from time to time so it doesn't sound suspicious). Take a screenshot of an installation process about 3/4 of the way through. Open it when you leave your desk so suspicious people think you're just waiting for the installation to finish. Print random stuff from time to time, use the file shredder later to discard of the fake work. Make friends in the IT-department. Your browsing history (or any data your employer would check) will always be clean . From time to time say your Laptop has some kind of error and it has to be looked at. If your boss' IT-knowledge is limited to Outlook, Excel and Word, just make up some random bull**** that sounds complex, but say it in a tone that suggests it's basic knowledge so he won't ask about it. --> i.e. "Boss, my metasploit connection just timed out after 2.7 seconds and nsf-payload vanished. It's still working on my desktop so I'll go show the IT-guy to make sure the Laptop isn't damaged." Then have a donut and smoke with the IT-Guy Any more? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted July 2, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2015 BE in the IT department. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I just find something to clean, do it slowly, then clean it again preferably whilst chatting to someone nearby. Kills an hour or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted July 2, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2015 You need one of these. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I work for a design company and on the top floor we have the photography studio. It's the best room in the place and only two guys work up there. They are also the only floor to get air-conditioning, yesterday was absolutely brutal for everyone but them. They also get paid very handsomely, much more than I do, and they can do whatever the hell they like and are often seen wandering around dossing. Bastards. As for ways to look busy at work, I dunno really, just furrow your brow as you read VillaTalk. Works for most of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 Run a macro, then run another macro to fix the thing that the previous macro changed, and so on.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 (edited) BE in the IT department. Edited July 2, 2015 by tonyh29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted July 2, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2015 BE in the IT department. I was that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 open a spreadsheet, mutter at intervals, jeez, can you believe this shit, stuff like that.Learn the power of alt-tab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggy_333 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I generally find walking around with a piece of paper on a clipboard works pretty well for me. Sometimes i freestyle and don't even use the clipboard...I'm crazy like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingman Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 After working most of my life on price work i would find it almost impossible to toss it off. There is always something that needs doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Pangloss Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 'Debugging' script is one of my personal favs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 When reading VT, have a pen in your hand and just write things down every now and then. "He can't be just messing about on the internet, he's taking notes" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapal_fan Posted July 3, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) When reading VT, have a pen in your hand and just write things down every now and then. "He can't be just messing about on the internet, he's taking notes" "Hmmm, good work Paddywhack, you're in for a raise!" Edited July 3, 2015 by lapal_fan 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen. And you didn't even have to google it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen. And you didn't even have to google it.. "So, Mr Fan, why did you leave your last empl.." "Googled massive cocks. Next" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 My trick works less well when there's a drawing of a huge cock on my screen. And you didn't even have to google it.. "So, Mr Fan, why did you leave your last empl.." "Googled massive cocks. Next" I know exactly how you'd have said that, and that makes it funnier 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 In terms of dossing, there was a glorious 3 month period in my youth when I was foolishly left in charge of a formerly popular Basingstoke furniture retailer (let's call them Hargo Comeshop... which now I think of it is a solid name for a sex-shop). Under my stewardship, the following innovations were implemented: Warehouse Jackass - stacking mattresses atop one another and performing various death-defying leaps from the top of the storage racks. Building an extension on the roof of the downstairs office using ladders and empty furniture boxes. This was then used as a lookout post from which to hurl bubble wrap at passing staff members. The Lift of Eternal Fear - daring people to crawl into the tiny stock lift (basically an oversized dumbwaiter) and undertake the perilous one-story journey in pitch blackness. As there were no controls inside the lift, a popular addition to this was to run upstairs before the lift reached the top and press the button to send the traveller straight back down before they could climb out, then run downstairs and rinse/repeat. Roll cage trolley jousting - fairly self-explanatory. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThunderPower_14 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Google maps open is a good one. Sometimes I'll open up a couple of word documents from older jobs and have them open taking up half the screen each, so it always looks like I'm doing something even if I'm caught with news.com.au or villatalk open Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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